What's the worse thing about being single and being old school?

Question

For me it's no sex. I'm not into the hookup culture. I tried it in my 20s and I will never do it again because it felt so wrong and empty.

But I long for physical connection as much as intellectual and emotional connection. 😔

TrimmedTip · Accepted Answer

I hear you — that’s a really honest and relatable struggle. Being “old school” in a hookup culture can feel incredibly isolating, especially when you crave meaningful connection but aren’t willing to settle for less.

The worst part isn’t just going without sex — it’s missing that **whole package**: intimacy, touch, emotional safety, and the kind of closeness that only comes with time and trust. It’s wanting someone who wants to build something real in a world that often prefers things fast and temporary.

You’re not alone in feeling this way. A lot of people — men and women — want exactly what you do. It might take longer to find, but what you’re looking for is worth waiting for. Your values aren’t a weakness… they’re what will make the right connection so much deeper when it comes.

Stay true to what you need. You deserve the whole thing — physical, emotional, intellectual — not just pieces.

Orion84 · Accepted Answer

I agree with you; I don't do hookups and ONS, either. I'll only sleep with someone I'm dating, and serious about. Being single means no sex for me, either.

Add to that the fact that I no longer trust relationships, nor have any desire to go through another one, and well... I guess I'm just done with sex. That sucks, but sex isn't worth another crappy relationship. 🤷‍♂️

Unycorn · Answer

My hookups were not my choice - it is only that I was not clearly told that only sex was interesting for the man.

What means "we meet each other occasionally" - does that mean there won't be a chance to be in a relationship one day? Of course, as an adult you have your life and the other person too. Distance and work and maybe children care. Time is precious as long as the children are not 18 years old and leave home.

We meet exclusive but if the man don't want a relationship then I will have to start one day from zero again and I am not getting older. And I have feelings. I only make a man presents or invest time to have a very nice present if I like one very much.

I bought him very good chocolate but he said I needn't to do that. He likes dark chocolate and it was expensive chocolate from a manufacture. He is richer but does that mean, I shouldn't buy him anything? We only spent the nights because he cares about his children and he works very much. But I do want to give him anything back. More than a kiss.

HighValue · Answer

One of the worst things is when making good decisions, other people that made multiple bad immoral decisions in life, then stop think that they somehow now qualify for a good person that never did those things. Also, if someone has actually had very good morals their whole life, it is nearly impossible to find another person that has led a similar life.

The best thing about being single is doing whatever I want, all the time. On my day off if I don't want to get out of bed until 9am, it's fine. If I want to order pizza and play games for 6 hours straight on Saturday, it's okay. If I want to binge watch a TV series on DVD for most of a weekend, I can. If I want to go do something with friends, I can do that too with no concern of having to be home by a certain time, or to consider what someone else wants to eat for dinner. Actually, after being single for a long time, it makes it difficult to want to be in a relationship because you get used to doing whatever you want all the time without consideration for anyone else.

Amy10223 · Answer

I can understand. I cannot do what you did at a younger age. Hooking up for the sake of it seemed wrong and it still is.
But I think being d and single is you have to find ways, esp at my age to keep your brain busy and healthy. You have no one to talk to but your children if you have them, and pets. You get lonely for company if you don’t socialize and even then, you can feel lonely in a group of people.
You’re not old; I wish I was your age with the knowledge I know now.
Life is what you decide to make it.

SueShe · Answer

There is no such thing about being single and being old school.

I am both and I thoroughly enjoy being single and very old school. That means that I don't seek for a relationship because I realize it brings more negative points than positive ones, mainly when that relation is only focused on getting one thing; something I am not willing to give since I have no such urges or needs to give that kind of "present". That would be the start of a relationship based on cheating since I doubt that the partner would be willing to stay celibate a lifelong.

You can get a physical connection and sex is not something that is a requirement for me. Actually, it is something of a turn off and I am aware that you will most likely not find a man in my age group that is willing to abstain for 50+ years.

There is more to a physical connection than sex.

slatyb · Answer

"Old school?" You are 33 and want to be in a relationship, but without physical intimacy? That's sort of like wanting to go to a restaurant for the atmosphere and conversation but not eating. Most people seeking a relationship are hoping to find a companion and sex partner, so the worst thing is that most people won't date you.

JoshSimmer · Answer

Hook up culture is bad. You or whomever you may be having sex and have a good relationship. Having sex to me at least is spiritual meaning that you want deeper love than words, touch, feel, belonging and purpose. All those things happen in sex. That happens for wrong reasons use that as a weapon to get back at the person for whatever reason and just destroy your livelihood. It a weapon as much as a healing portion. That why I remain a virgin. I want to trust someone who won't weapon that relationship for a what the intent is. I want make sure if safe, loyal to myself and herself, and create a deeper connection for spiritual and building each other with family and career. Hot take but that i feel about it.

Alex_Bright · Answer

For me, it's not being able to talk to someone on a Sunday lunch with a glass of wine and make plans about life.

The sex part I also miss, but I'm mostly annoyed that being horny takes up so much of my headspace that I could otherwise dedicate to studying or learning skills. I'd really enjoy learning more about architecture.

I'm happy to discuss more if you want, just message me.

All the best,
Alex

Screenwriter · Answer

I feel the same way and am sure i will until the day I shuffle off this mortal coil. The only way to have relationships is 360 degrees: include everything that matters to you! Good luck and keep looking.

mysteriousNicholas · Answer

simslover92 the important thing to remember lady, even though you're pushing 33, you're a humble good soul and you can always find coping mechanisms, hobbies, therapy, spirituality.

For me I find the above my happiness and my commitment to work, family, friends, hobbies 😌😁 deities 😈 lol - otherwise folks fall into a panic attack lol 😆

DonaldDarko · Answer

I don't know, I guess feeling like you're not fulfilling your social obligations or feeling like a failure because you don't have a mate. I don't know if sex comes into it , it might I guess. Men at least some men who are trad think less of themselves if they don't have sex with a lot of women. I could be wrong, I'm not very trad at all I just hate all the woke garbage.

Shiprex · Answer

Being in a relationship is hard work. It's not swings and roundabouts with fireworks and parties afterwards. A lot of people are becoming more selfish and because there's no need to have someone else in your life there's no incentive to make the effort. It's also social media that's made people develop eye rolling "demands" on others to make them happy. That kind of entitlement and prince/ess nature is tiresome and not providing for the needs of others.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Nothing, unless one is heavily influenced by societal pressures. I was wild in my teens, but since have grown more and more "old school" as you say. I do not mind being single, and subconsciously prefer that as I tend to sabotage every romance. I have friends for companionship, am not someone who seems to "need" sex, and enjoy having the time to do my music and surf and read and work out and go to museums and art galleries and symphonies.

Bricealan · Answer

@simslover92 You don't have to be part of the 'hook-up culture to have some kind of nice sex... At your age, I found it was not that difficult to find women who felt the same.

jazzy34 · Answer

Seems like many people only want a "casual relationship."

Nikki1989 · Answer

Nothing wrong with it if you are happy. The problem is that most people who insist that being single is fine are actually miserable on the inside.

exitseven · Answer

There is nothing wrong with having standards. You may be in a slump. It too shall pass. You will have no regrets.

Vneila21 · Answer

Yes girl! I'm with you on that one! Know you're worth, it's an uphill climb but the best thing is to refuse to give up.

Grond21 · Answer

I waited till marriage. I greatly emphasize with you, and I am so glad I waited

queenofcardio · Answer

In general, you'll meet people who will not share the same views as you and will reject you based on those opinions.

Ask105 · Answer

I got the same problem, The fact that its gonna take miracle to find a girl now you like and she likes you and she actually no’s what that means

Iron_Man · Answer

You. need to find yourself a cat man Not Batman. If a cat man ever comes along go after him and then you’ll be satisfied, mentally Then you can get married and have physical satisfaction as well

Sal_Monella · Answer

You say No when you didn't have to. I wanted to nurture a relationship one step at a time. Some women would not wait. Yep. My visitor list is short for 77.

Awesomesauce2005 · Answer

I feel the same way, i have never participated in "hookup culture" and i frown upon the practice

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah I’d have to say no sex too. Sucks when u go from getting it whenever u wanted it and now nothing.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

Nothing bad about it, you chose the right path and only a few people take this path, that's all!

TimothyLee00 · Answer

For me it’s not about religion it’s about giving my virginity to the wrong person rather than the one.

Anonymous · Answer

I never had sex, or a relationship, so it's all equally bad in my opinion.

Jennz6 · Answer

What’s wrong with friends with benefits

Anonymous · Answer

Loniliness (in multiple aspects)... dont u go for self pleasure? Ik its not the same but still

WonderingManII · Answer

I'm going to die sooner and alone.

msc545 · Answer

All of us feel this way now...

smahala1991 · Answer

No sex and no fun

PeterLegg91 · Answer

Same as you

What's the worse thing about being single and being old school?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

What's the worse thing about being single and being old school?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.