How can I help my boyfriend safe face after I embarrassed him?

[Anonymous]

Okay so while we were out yesterday at this cafe we go to at least 2x a week, I was checking out this other guy. Multiple times. I know what I did was wrong and very disrespectful. My boyfriend got mad at me and asked how can he save face if we come across that guy again. I know what I did was wrong and I admit that I do find the other guy attractive.

The thing is though, my boyfriend and I have done MFM multiple times (he chose the guy usually, but have said that I get to choose the guy next time). But I think this came as a shock to him because I have never expressed any interest for other guys before… now he thinks I’ve embarrassed him because the other guy got all smug after he noticed I was checking him out.

What can I do to help my boyfriend safe face?

[Screenwriter]

So turnabout isn't fair play for your boyfriend, eh? He gets to choose and check out other men, but YOU don't get to do the same?

Look, nobody was watching you check out this guy except the guy and your boyfriend. He didn't lose any "face" from you LOOKING at another man. It is not disrespectful unless you leave his table to go over and hang out with the other guy!

It is human nature to look at other attractive people. It does not disrespect whoever you are with. He noticed it and became jealous. Or you said something and he became jealous.

You two are playing a game that could be dangerous by including other people in your sex life. THAT is the bottom line about what's going on with your man.

It was fine when HE chose another man, but it's NOT with you doing the choosing, even though he's SAID it would be.

It's all fun and games until your boyfriend gets upset. You didn't embarrass him. He embarrassed himself by not being OK with what you did, even though he said he would be.

Sounds like he likes to be in control of the situation all the time , and when you take over, surprize! He's not. So, he's threatened.

You'd better seriously talk this out, especiallly in light of your sex play. It's either he's OK with your participating fully in choosing other male partners, or he's not. And if he isn't, maybe you might want to stop doing these 3-ways where you have no choice of who participates.

[Asker]

I think I’m definitely not down to doing any more 3ways in the future… I don’t want to do it if it’s only strictly under my bf’s terms, it’s not fair. I do think it’s disrespectful of me to fully ogle another guy the way I did it though 😅 I was making it too obvious. However, I am also aware that my boyfriend overreacted and might have been threatened. He even started saying that what I did was cheating…

[Screenwriter]

Wow! He was WAY off base on that. Cheating has never been associated with "looking." Whether it's obvious or not. How long have you been with this guy? How long did it take for him to intro 3-ways? Sounds to me like he's in charge of your relationship, not you. I'd have a long talk with him about what you've expressed in your comment.

You can apologize if you like, but I think something's off between him and you. Only you can determine what. Find out and try to resolve it.

[Asker]

We’ve been together for 4 years now! And only started doing 3ways a year ago (have only done it 3x all with the same guy). I think he’s projecting and I get he might be feeling jealous but I know for sure I wasn’t cheating…

[Screenwriter]

If you've been with him this long, I expect he knows you well enough. But, you might be at that point where, you might need to go separate ways. Fact that he's introduced someone else into your sex play doesn't sound promising. Is he bored? Then accusing you of cheating when you LOOk at another man. Have a serious talk about where the two of you are going in this relationship and that you don't want to do any more three ways. No matter who chooses. Ask him why he ever wanted to do it in the first place.

[Anonymous]

He’s a cuck but now is insulted that you’re looking at other dudes?

[Asker]

I think he only wants it under his terms, which is unfair

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah he’s a weirdo cuck

[Opinion Owner]

thanks for mho

[ohsheeT]

You be honest with him you tell him you want to keep going to that café with him in hopes or running in to that guy again

And if you do then your boyfriend needs to go over and talk to the guy to explain. What it was all about..

It's o e thing that you were doing what you were doing. But its another thing your boyfriend didn't say should I go over and talk to that guy and tell him the reason your eating him up and down with ur eyes. So its your boyfriend that drop the ball to its not all on you

[Asker]

My boyfriend said he felt I disrespected his pride by checking out another guy in front of him. I mean that makes sense, I can see his perspective. He overreacted sure and was being childish about the whole thing but I still want to make it right.

[ohsheeT]

Yes, i kinda understand that I mean when I was dating my girlfriend and I would walk through the mall together and anytime. There were guys coming towards us. I would watch them. And I would watch 3 of them. I would be staring at we're getting closer. I could feel her squeezing my hand tighter and tighter. And I returned to look at her and all I could do a smile and she would start laughing because she knows why I was smiling because I saw these three guys looking at at her as we're walking towards them. Andvshe sew them looking at her, and I mean.
We know that we were with each other, so it was not that big. We've walked in a grocery store before. And ladies would be walking towards us, and these ladies are looking down at my pants just staring as we're walking towards them. The funny part was I watched their eyes go from my eyes down to my pants and I kept staring at their eyes until we passed each other and it wasn't until we were right next to each other. They looked back up and looked into my eyes. And all I could do was smile my girlfriend. All she could do was laugh. Because the way that their eyes went straight down and they just stayed down until we got right next to each other, you are human. It's going to happen. And he knows down deep that he has done it. Many times, I checked out girls, especially if you weren't around. So he has to lighten up on you a little bit. As far as I'm concerned, you did do anything wrong. I mean I have then walk into the mall with my girlfriend holding her hand she squeezed my hand she saw me looking towards the girl and I would say. Look what she's wearing. I mean, what is that? And when guys look at girls, they're not looking at them. The way girls think they are, I mean. I look at girls because I like their clothes. I like what they do with their clothes but I don't think you did anything wrong.\nNothing that he's never done before anyway

[TrimmedTip]

Apologize sincerely — no excuses. Then, in front of the guy (if you see him again), be extra affectionate with your boyfriend: hold his hand, give him a kiss, or say something like, “This is my amazing boyfriend.” It shows respect and reinforces that your boyfriend is your priority. Reassure your boyfriend privately too — his feelings matter more than some stranger’s smirk. You messed up, but you can fix it with love and humility. 💬❤️

[Asker]

I have apologized and I take full accountability for crossing the line. I was thinking of also being extra affectionate with my boyfriend in front of the guy, but I’m afraid that my boyfriend might think I’m just being fake and overcompensating…

[mysteriousNicholas]

Dang lady, sounds like you've found a better catch 🐠🐟 trouble in paradise - lol before the coffee ☕ - ah well.
I'm glad I'm single 😊 😅

[mysteriousNicholas]

I don't have to deal with relationship drama. Sounds like a break up / new beginnings ahahaha no advice just commentary comedy 😈😂

[Asker]

Yeah it complicated…

[mysteriousNicholas]

He just really caught your eye - 👀 says every woman ever 😅💓 thanks for the entertaining question, cya

[mysteriousNicholas]

Anyways all the best to you lady and your love life. Courtesy, kindness, respect, and have a good day all

[Asker]

Thank you, all the best to you too!

[mysteriousNicholas]

Thank you, I will 🥳🎉

[Anonymous]

That never ends well if your man is insecure.

[Asker]

This is unlike him though, he’s always said he wanted me to find a guy to be our third. But now that I’m actually showing interest in someone else, he’s flipping out?

[Anonymous]

You should have a conversation and set boundaries before doing what you two have done.

[Asker]

We did actually, which is why this came as a surprise to me because he specifically said that I’m allowed to choose the next guy… I guess he didn’t like me checking out the other guy though

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe he can't handle you doing it in front of him in public. Ask him if it would be okay if you only flirted with other guys when he isn't present. Maybe try to feminize him and make him wear women's clothes at home. Mixing femdom and feminization with cuckolding should help for better long term success. DO you do any femdom of feminization?

[Anonymous]

Leave him he deserves better

[Asker]

I did give him the option to go. He said it’s very conflicting because he was the one that offered MFM and wanted me to choose the guy, but now he can’t handle me finding another guy attractive. I know I messed up by checking the other guy out so blatantly though