What does it mean when my boyfriend tried to break up, but backs away so we did not and then he starts holding around me?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend for 5 months have been feeling uncertain about me, and have been asking me how I feel for him. And I tried to ask him if he wants the door is right there, and then he backs away of breaking up and we both said that we are going to speak in a few days. Then he starts holding me all the time, and holds my lower back and oldmost touching my bum. What does this mean?

[Paris13]

He is obviously Confused and maybe a bit scared of being in a Relationship, this is new, dear. Try giving each other space, try this. makes little more of a healthier relationship to help it go and Flow and Glow. He is showing you he still cares here, dear, by the Loving hand movements, and Still-----Wants you in his life. Go slow though. xxxxxxxxx

[Paris13]

Thanks to Gag. xxxxx

[Anonymous]

It means you should be the stronger one and leave first. Holding and touching on your body is physical intimacy, probably the priority of why he’s staying with you until he finds someone else. He doesn’t want to be broken up with first.

[Danny_dan92]

Your boyfriend is either really stupid and or is insecure

[ohsheeT]

Are you having sex after all of this happens everytime

[ohsheeT]

If s then that's what it means... dont have with him for a week or 2. Then see what happens

So if you're gonna have sex, have it wait before the b******* starts. The drama starts because if you have sex after the drama you'll never know your answell you will but it will take some time

[Asker]

Nono, we have not had sex for 5 weeks because I have been travelling and he has been travelling for work. We just spoke of having a trip end of the month, and then he says this

[Asker]

I was suppose to just meet him for 10 min ended up to 3 hours, but then he wanted to sit down and have a coffee together and take a walk in the park in the rain. And I was just very upset and I was trying several times to distance myself from him so that I was not under the umbrella he was holding, and he kept coming closer, and he kept asking me how I was feeling for him, and then he said why can’t you answer. And I said I can’t answer right now how I feel. And then he asked me is it because you don’t feel anything or is it because I can’t express and I said I can’t express in this moment. Then he gets upset why I have not talked to him about if we have a future together, and he says you dont think that is something we should talk about together.

First he says he is unsure if we are more then friends, then he says he needs to feel this is right then he gets upset with me why I have not talked to him how I feel, about our future, then he says he needs to know how I feel and if I’m in love with him. And I don’t understand, if he’s not sure then why does it matter what I feel for him? And when I ask him if you are sure that this is what you want that you want to break up, then we have nothing to talk about. And he can’t look at me and starts crying, and I said you can think about it.

And then he asks me if I’m travelling next week leading up to he wants to spend time together? And following that he’s trying to be intimate and holds around me, and I do the same to him and he says this is not the last time we’re going to see each other. I just dont understand him and I’m scared to tell him anything, why does he need to know what I feel for him in a romantic way, what does he mean? Especially if he’s going to leave me anyway? And after we talked about this, he starts having his legs touching mine for physical touch.

[ohsheeT]

I think if you say that you like him the he will use that to touch more it's really kinda stupid for him to keep going in a little circle one direction.
And then turn around and go back to the same direction. The opposite way, it's kind of confusing. It's kind of manipulating it's not right. It's as he wants answers in both directions. I'm not sure but I think he's trying to push you ever direction and when you start to head that way he says something different

[ohsheeT]

I dont understand why he can't just tell you what he feel and drop it. I think it all about getting laid he takes you one way. And when you don't bite. He try taking you the other way. Both are wrong and fake it's just a manipulation.
Whatever answer you give him he's going to take it the opposite way

[ohsheeT]

Ask yourself everything your going through right now worth it. If you say yes and you get in a deep relationship with him. Will what you go through then be worth it then ask yourself is this relationship worth going around and around in this little circle over and over and over worth it I mean I'm reading your words and he can't show you any type of commitment so you all ready know the out come and if he can't hear that or understand what he needs to do.. then its a game to him he needs to look you deep in your eyes and tell you he loves you he wants you and say I can't make you love me and I'm not even going to try. Because that's fake and it will never work that way. I want you to love me because you really love me then drop it and stop talking about it and just prove ut

[ohsheeT]

Ok time out don't even read what I said. With all the talkes you both have had. He told you what was going to happen. And you listen. And heard him loud and clear. And you don't want to go through that I don't blame you. So you have a beautiful heart you don't want it to end but he told you he was walking away he thinks your stupid and he can manipulate you.\nGet what he wants and then says, bye. It's time for you to just hold on to your beautiful heart and do it for him. Say Goodbye, you're a good person. You don't owe him anything right now you're just battling yourself he blew it . Do what's best for you. He will probably have to go through this 5 more times 5 different girls you on the other hand.
You'll learn from this and never allow it again

[Asker]

Thank you for all advice, I really appreciate it! Tbh I dont know what to do, I have not even asked for a commitment yet from him and I did not Even know that this was something he thought about…All of this came unexpected and to just top it off he wants to know I’m ready to love him, and I’m just like where is this coming from. And he says that we need to talk about how he feels for me, what I feel for him and what we feel for each other together. But I feel not enough time has passed for me to know to love each other which is what I told him

[Asker]

I do want to tell him how I feel, but what happens if we go in to a relationship? Will this happen again, will it not? And giving him that confirmation before he is going to tell me how he feels is super scary, so yes you are right I’m going to tell him that he needs to tell me how he feels if this is going to work. Right?

[Asker]

But yes I notice that also he wants that security, I imagine that when he ask if I do not feel anything that means that he feels something and he wants to know if I feel the same way. And what is weird about this - immediately when I told him that I have been thinking about our future and if we can create a life together he is like why have you not told me, and this is something we need to talk about together like we are boyfriend/girlfriend?

[Asker]

But I did text him Yesterday which I do not expect a reply to - but I did tell him that I’m aware I could not give answers he needed from me and we will talk about us and where we stand on Sunday

[Asker]

But I’m guessing this is what he wants? That I need to show that I’m in love with him?

[ohsheeT]

Well, you just say what you have to say and say it all gets it all out. And let him tell you how he feels and what he wants, let him get it all out. You just have to be honest dont hold back. You can only think about the moment you're in nothing else. You have to go into it. It's a 50/50 deal. And you both do your 50 % respect, trust, and love. If it's meant to be with work, it will last forever. If it's not. You will see it coming either, fix it, or move on. It takes work to make it work but is worth it if you both want the same thing

[Asker]

Hi again. In need some advice. I was suppose to see him today, and actually both before I met him a few days ago, and when I was with him and today I kept asking if I was going to see him or not, and he wouldn’t give me an answer. And when something comes up or he is not feeling it, he always lets me know. Today I text him and ask if I can come over in the evening, and he replies with:
(Keep also in mind that he have not responded yet to the message I sent which basically just me apologise for not giving the answers he needed to hear and I do not know how we can fix this, if we can )

But he said:
« Honestly, I don’t have much much to come with now. I’ve had so much for the last two days and I need to relax. Can we talk on Tuesday evening? «

I don’t understand where the honestly comes from? And as well if he couldn’t make it why couldn’t he just told me like I asked him for the last 3 times and more then that, buying time?

[ohsheeT]

Wow I don't get that either I don't know he just didn't send you a message earlier. I mean way earlier like a day or 2.

[ohsheeT]

When a guy really loves you and wants to be with you nothing is going to stop him there is nothing I can hold you back. You can run a twenty five mile marathon and still say come over

[Asker]

He is acting so Strange because he was not like this before he watched my dog and he was like I’m finished that time and no worries - and now he’s making all these excuses or do not answer me when I ask.

I think he means our conversation that he have not had a moment to think, but I do not get him. Why is he buying time? And as well asking to meet in the evening.

[ohsheeT]

There's just something wrong with the whole picture. To me, it seems like he builds you up to tare you down over and over. If this is what he's doing [[[ this is why he keeps ask you how you feel about him ]]]]] if this it what he's doing you really need to be careful. Because it's all manipulation to control you, he's playing games with you. I Thinking you're going to get so hung up on him. Like I said, if he was being real, he would have said, "Why don't you have someone right now

[ohsheeT]

I honestly feel that you're in for a heartache. When 2 people.
Like each other and are getting together. There are no problems whatsoever.
You don't think about things because everything just works out like it's supposed to.
But every situation has been a little snag. A little problem with you too. You have to really listen to the inside of you. Because we know things before we actually know them. That's why there's that person inside of you. That says Hey, this isn't right, or that isn't right.
You have to listen to that person because it knows. Because that person is you the best part of you your energy. Your spiritual.
Energy.
If our body is our temple and God lives within the side of us we are made from energy from this and he is part of you. That's why you have to go with that. Gut's feeling because it knows he knows you know. Look, I can feel you right now. I can feel your energy and you're a good person. You don't need this c***There's a 150 billion guys out there. And I guarantee you. You don't wouldn't have to go through any of this

[ohsheeT]

Can you dm me. We have so many text om lost lol

[Asker]

I mean it’s clear that he wants to be chased, and validation of my feelings. But why the games so that I will be so attached to him?

[In_Trance]

Nothing