This guy pressuring me for my phone number. Mind you, before asking me my name. And I’m all for flattery, okay i get it, you like my profile pic. But i insisted on being pragmatic and he got offended. I was wondering about a guy’s perspective on this. I’m running into this behavior a LOT and would love tips on how to do better. these text messages are after i insisted we answer 10 questions each before going on to texting. i think he wouldn’t have even done that. i think his last two messages seem pretty angry. couldn’t upload more than 10 pics, so the last two are in a side by side
Can you give me feedback on an online dating interaction?
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I would have blocked him after the first screenshot But then I read the second and I would have blocked him after that one too And so on
He’s every red flag rolled into one
Talking about love and marriage with a stranger before even going on one date
Flexing about his previous marriage
Wanting an islamic marriage not a civil one because he would hold ALL the power and can send you packing overnight without even needing a divorce court
He has 0 game. Talks in one word answer as though this is a transaction which means he only sees you as a product he’s buying
Says to follow his lead because he’s older when at the same time he’s whining like a child for you to love him
Any one of these reasons is reason enough to kick him to the curb
You have true patience for continuing to chat and respond with paragraphs to his one word answers
But you’re giving him all the power and haven’t even met yet imagine what it will be like when you’re together? This is how most domestic violence cases start
I’m sure his ex of 14 years took many beating. He sounds exactly like the guy entitled enough to do that
but like I’m told that men and women have such vastly different communication styles that i thought okay this is a communication thing.
no it’s an asshole thing, pretty much ugh
it’s sad that you guys all saw it pretty head on like nope you shouldn’t have engaged with that type but i felt bad like oh i should give him a chance. he was way too pushy for my comfort but i thought surely it can’t be that bad i just need to set boundaries. womp womp
Omg. That was an adult man with 5 different ages of teen boys. I couldn't even read it all. All I kept thinking there is no way in this world i would have even had that conversation or talked to that person.
they make it sound like you’re so awful and you’re not serious and you’re such a fake and a flake when you don’t want to talk with them. they make it sound like you’re the problem and they’re just being normal
thanks for your insight. it’s been valuable and grounding to hear guys say this is fishy
I guess they are all. different. The ones I have had have been good just like a relationship you text say hi how's your day talk about all kinds of things might flirt. Role play be naughty what ever you both like get in to some deep chat. Listen to music basically it is what you make it
on the dating app itself it’s a regular chat. he kept saying text me or whatsapp me and I’m like we’re chatting here what’s the difference. he goes i want to know if you’re serious or just wasting my time why won’t you go on to the next step
i mean i was pretty confused that he doesn’t ask anything personal or do any back and forth of any kind. but some people are one track minded like that. so i let it go
i said okay if we answer 10 questions each i’ll text you. he let me ask like 6 maybe and for one of them he did “what about you” so i guess he wasn’t much curious. mind you, “what is your name” is such low hanging fruit. it didn’t come up
my questions were his name, what would his ex wife say about him that led to their marriage ending, what he has against the name on his DL (since apparently he wants to go by a different name that his friends call him), why he’s labeled me a “rebel woman” yet continues to chat with me, what’s a regret he would go back and change butterfly effect and all, and why he in his words “hates this app”. he asked me my favorite color, to tell him a secret no one knows about me, and a fantasy i want to do with my next partner. and the ex feedback one i asked, he flipped back to me
and then he goes this is your last chance to text me and start being nice. because he wants to know if he should even invest more time in getting to know me. and that’s the start of the text thread cuz i started it by asking if he really thought i was being mean.
he’s still fuming. because i haven’t replied sincethe screenshots and he’s sent 3 more messages by text and since i wasn’t replying he sent me 2 messages on the app
basically i upgraded to a paid account and added more details of hobbies and interests and more prompt questions as well as two pictures. he’s now mad that i hadn’t shared the pics with him when he asked
I’m not going to engage because i don’t think he’ll even get it’s not about pictures anymore. even if he’s not a dick, severely doubt, we don’t have similar communication styles. and who responds to someone hurling insults at them any medium they can
“so sad not worth the time invest i regret ever talking to you” like omg dude we chatted back and forth for 2 hours. and i was unloading the dishwasher and vacuuming and making lunch and giving myself a spa day at the same time. it’s no huge time commitment to chat back and forth on a dating app hello? couldn’t get any chiller
i don’t know and I’m so turned off i can’t even respond to the other likes because this really weird experience leaving a bad taste in my mouth. I’m taking @msc545 ‘s directive and his cat’s and just forgetting online dating altogether but i paid for the 3 months subscription 😒
Yes i mean if I like someone I talk to them as me not 20 different personalities. Up one side down the other. I swear
For me anytime. Anybody tries to get me to go to whatstep instagram ziggy years whatever it's c Signal. I say no, not even Facebook. I don't go to.
Where was the passion the flirting romance to get you to feel something besides heart burn. lol
No, I'm just kidding. I'm sure he's probably a nice guy. This is just one thing that. I only read maybe a quarter of it. I couldn't take it LO. L
It's just because i'm a whole different type of person.
If you put your first finger and your thumb together and hold the other three fingers in the air like the o k sign time it felt like he just kept going around and around that little circle
And then spread your arms as wide as you can. That's how big the world is. You don't have to go in a little circle
Well, you must have some hot pictures. Because but that's good though why not
I worked at a place with a bunch of young guys and they would have the biggest. Mess ups they would come get me and I guess I would always say ohseet. So they started calling me ohshee. And last years for the third profile page, I couldn't get into again so I made this page really quick. My last name starts with a . T. so I made this page to talk to Gag. To see why for the third time? I couldn't get into my had no clue. They couldn't help me so
I just left that the way it was. I tried to change it, but it wouldn't let me. But it's alright because i'm the complete opposite so it works out good
He is Islamic, which means he has all sorts of issues with women and marriage and even with dating that you are probably not familiar with, and won't like or agree with if and when you know and understand them. He has terrible judgment and poor impulse control, and no insight. He is talking to a person he has NEVER MET about marriage which borders on insanity.
it’s a hard pass anyway. i mean I’m through. he’s texted twice afterwards trying to get me to re-engage.
but he’s shown his true colors, best to believe him
i was more wondering how typical it is for guys to expect passion and fireworks right from the very start and if a woman asks for a little purpose, they become insulted
I am very glad we were able to be of some help to you. In this case, Allister concurred completely with my opinion, and also adds the suggestion that you refrain from online dating -he says "that way lies madness', and with that I too agree. M
I’m actually a bit scared to go out and meet people in person too early on
i mean this guy has a bit of an abuse streak, seemingly. it came out pretty quickly through texting. easier to block him than to risk him following me home
Why? That's how it's done. You should be able to tell from a guy's initial messages whether he's serious and safe to meet. You don't risk much by going to a coffee shop -- there are always strange men there. Just don't let your date see you getting into or out of your car. He should arrive before you and leave after you.
That's even worse. Why chat up someone that long when you don't even know what he looks like and somehow without looking at him you know that he's pretty old. What future or partner could you possibly be looking for with those metrics? Sounds like he said he has money or you are so lost as a person that you don't understand why you are coming across men like that.
people’s age is right there on their profile. and sometimes you chat with someone who doesn’t have their picture up, who cares. some women don’t just write someone off if they don’t know what he looks like. trying to give people the benefit of the doubt
he tried to flex about his alleged money. what’s that got to do with me? i neither believe nor showed him any validation because of it
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