Why are some men laid back? Is it in general or with that particular girl?

[Anonymous]

Why are some men laid back/causal? Is it in general or with that particular girl? Do you like her or you don’t? Why do some of you wait until the day before to ask to meet up rather than choosing a day and time in advance. Why not take her out on dates? What does being open to a relationship even mean? Is all this just to say you’re not interested in her or you’re juggling other girls and lying about focusing on goals when distant or not looking?

[Noredcarpet]

It could be their natural style but it could too be they are trying to adjust to you. I noticed guys who instead "zoom' around me and do not cut to the chase because they told me afterwards their impression of me was that they were not sure I was into them like that or if they asked right away I would say no, get shy. They too could have said tomorrow but as a sign of being eager, available to you, not meant as an insult. If you say no they will come up with new and/or you could help him out? Interaction, two to come up? If you yourself just lean back with your arms crossed as an attitude being insultef he asked for a date tomorrow it could be more difficult? I know planners and they may not be as impulsive, spontanious as the rest and they might at times be annoyed by such things, just saying, please don't hate. It can very well be a oersonality traid to not be a planner and if so do not take it personal, just how he is. Why not take her out on dates, you asked, that too can depend on what you see as a date and what he sees as a date. Maybe he gets nervous or think you get nervous if it is the tradional courting? Or could it be he is 'hiding' you? I have alwsys enjoyed more casual, strolling in the park, getting an ice cream, having it more relaxed. Going to thr beach what ever. I thought open to a relationship meant just that, lol, but read on other who answered it means something else? You could ask him what he means by it? What should he say? I'm open to marriage? Could that not scare you away? Make him look desperate? Some could be scared by that? To me it seems like you both could work on your communication skills or else I fear there might be more questionmarks for you ahead. I still don't get what it is he's done so far that is so bad and suspiscious, but it couid be just me.

[Bitter_Sweet94]

Some men are laid back because that’s just their default wiring slow, relaxed, non urgent.

Others act laid back only with a specific girl because they’re unsure, not that invested,
or they don’t feel the need to put in real effort.

The truth is simple

a man who genuinely likes a woman makes plans, shows initiative, and isn’t vague.

Last minute invites usually mean she’s not a priority.

“Open to a relationship” often just means he likes the idea of love but not enough to commit to her.

It’s not always about juggling girls, sometimes he’s just emotionally unavailable.

But either way, effort reveals interest everything else is noise.

[ohsheeT]

It not that we wait to the last min before asking what it is .. well time out I can't speak for anyone but me

I hate dating lol. I dont date good i am a spontaneous person. I'm a spontaneous person. I might ask if you want to go do right in the middle of doing that. I'll come up with a brilliant idea to go someplace else and do something else and it turnsnote 10 times better get something to eat. Go shopping. They're all kinds of things to do.

But I'm not the type of guy that premedilet's go out to dinner Friday night. Cause you don't have to think about it all week

But I would rather just call you up and say, Hey, what are you doing? I'm gonna go do this. You wanna come with me? I'll pick you up everything. Just works out a hundred times better

[ManOnFire]

This is a lot of overthinking for either small things or things that were already made clear to you by the guy but you are still trying to read something else into it.

• He probably did show you he likes you.
• Why take you out on an official date when meeting up first is a better way of seeing what you're about?
• And can you explain what is unclear about "being open to a relationship"?

[Asker]

What does it mean? Is it a yes I want a relationship or no I don’t? Recently all the misunderstandings led to not wanting any anymore because of them not wanting to go through that. Unfortunately

[ManOnFire]

You're not making any sense here. Is the guy telling you he likes you or not?

[Asker]

He did

[Asker]

He says he does but I’m saying what did he mean by being open to a relationship? He said then when we met and Now he’s saying he doesn’t want one, he’s focusing on goals. He said this after we keep having misunderstandings normally a miscommunication problem. But also said he was positive on having one when we worked through our problems

[ManOnFire]

He's being very clear about what he said, you are just trying to read something else into it. He DID say he liked you, and he was open to a relationship when you met him, but right now he's upset by all the misunderstandings you guys keep having - which are honestly very likely your fault. You misinterpret words or keep trying to read some other meaning from them. It creates friction and frustration, and that's probably what he's not happy about right now.

[Asker]

But did he lose interest? He saw me twice since then and we cuddled. It’s been a week since I spoke to him last and saw him. He said he don’t want to call it quits. However, he said he’s giving me an opportunity to decide if I want to continue seeing him or not because he’s not available to see me as much or fund dates as much.

[ManOnFire]

If he's doing all that he obviously hasn't lost interest, but he also doesn't like the way you communicate/interpret things. I mean you're literally asking me he's still interested when everything he's doing shows it. You're being dense.

[Asker]

Well why didn’t he message me since 5 days ago? And yes, when I assume things, I do explode or throw accusations. I am working on my tone while he was supposed to work on being a planner.

[ManOnFire]

I don't know, maybe he has things going on? Did you check up on him?

[Asker]

No, he did it before until I reached out. He says it’s normally because he’s focused on goals. Working or doing crypto classes most of the day. That’s why I feel like he lost interest because of what he said (if I want to see him although he’d be busy sometimes) and because of the misunderstandings.

[ManOnFire]

Only thing I can say is just go silent for awhile and give him space, see if it'll make him reach out. And it's a good opportunity for you to work changing your misinterpretations and overthinking. That stuff creates a lot of friction and frustration and is really very annoying from women.

[Asker]

He reached out last night after 5 days and told me he still thought about us last time cuddling and wants to see me tomorrow or Wednesday. I don't know if that’s sufficient time in advance though.

[ManOnFire]

Seems like nothing can make you happy.

[Asker]

No he just can’t, cause at this point he’s telling me he’s unreliable to ask for transportation to and from work although we work at the same job. He also told me he’s too busy and far and we won’t have the same shifts. That’s not cool for someone I’m talking to romantically, am I not worth a ride? Would he just leave me stranded if he saw me at work at night? He told me to make sure have a ride especially for night shifts.

[ManOnFire]

Okay so seems like he's being wishy washy. At this point I would just back away from him then.

[Finchie40]

Because some people don’t t want to come off despicable especially when they like someone or interested in someone , they rather take things slow so they do t have their heart broken if the other person doesn’t feel the same way about them or they are unsure how the other person feels about them , unfortunately rushing into a relationship with someone is stupid to do , because it takes time to really get to know someone

[DishLady]

Guys doing/saying this to you aren’t interested in you. Move on.

[OneViewpoint]

Don't knock a laid back guy. Would you rather have an insecure control freak who tracks your every movement and freaks out if you don't reply to a text for 3 hours or has a meltdown when you go out with your girlfriends?

And don't confuse a guy who is laid back with a guy who may like you but just isn't interested in getting tied down in an official boyfriend / girlfriend thing with all the expectations and commitments thereof. He's entitled to have his own thoughts and priorities in life. Even when they don't match your desires or timeline.

[SeriouslyNotSerious]

Find another. If he actually liked you, he'd show it. Loudly, proudly, and without making you spiral into a detective. A real man won't make you overthink, and he definitely won't let you slip away.

[CherryLove007]

Generally most of the laid back men are not taking dating or life that seriously.

my two cents

also commitment has been dwindling away.

[WhitneySnow]

Because they don’t care about her that much but would be happy to get sexual with her as long as it doesn’t involve a firm commitment

[jkreuger95]

I like my girl and feel comfortable around her, others im wary of. Im super drunk so You know im giving a super honest anser

[Anonymous]

Guys like that are just looking for pussy and don't care who. Fine if you're a hookup queen, but no self respecting man takes another guy's leftovers.

[Asker]

What if you’re not sleeping together, just hanging out

[Opinion Owner]

Some guys are serious, others are just playing around. Taking out on actual dates implies he knows she's worthy of girlfriend treatment.

[Asker]

Is he playing around and/or not interested? I’m not sure because he always wants to meet up every week

[Opinion Owner]

He's only calling when horny. Move away fast.

[noohair]

Men used to have to make a commitment to a woman for sex. That was courtship and marriage. Women wanted equality and freedom. This is what equality and freedom looks like.

[Anonymous]

I probably sem to be laid back, but internally I was panicking around my crush. I might have even experienced anxiety attacks.

[LiamJHayden]

I'm intense when working, working out, or learning a song. I am pretty laid back otherwise. That is just in general.

[jahaims]

It's someone who wants validation without the responsibility of commitment. People like that are immature.

[NervousIndividual]

I am not like this. If I were dating, I would focus on that one person, be intentional about showing appreciation towards her, make time for her, and learn from her perspectives.

[RedInnocent69]

Whoa, that heavy. Just chillax, baby. Feel the vibe, and go with the flow

[Asker]

I’m a planner, I don’t go with the flow

[RedInnocent69]

Yeah, that’s a difficult one…

[AngryCarl2]

Some guys aren't really into committing to one woman. Until they THE ONE anyhow.

[Staximus]

Laid back doesn't mean indecisive, wishy-washy, or afraid of commitment

[Anonymous]

Don't fall for that game. Most men are fakers.

[blackeagle007]

You’re being female

[Awomaninamansbody]

Men are like that. They are like grasshoppers who play violin and relax no work they die in the winter. Lol

[ProbablyClueless]

I’m laidback with everyone

[BarryLiverstone]

Several reasons why tbh

[Asker]

Name some or most common

[BarryLiverstone]

In no particular order :
1. He wasn’t raised well to be a planner and he’s laid back with all life decisions.

2. He’s not into you. He’s unattracted and at best you are a friend.

3. He’s playing games and is manipulating you.

4. He’s lazy. Says he has goals to pretend to be successful but plays video games and drinks on the weekends instead of living serious hours

[BarryLiverstone]

4 reasons ok? Or want more

[Asker]

Well if you can give an input, that’ll be great. He’ll say hey, then when I respond he’ll say he’s free for the next day if I want to meet up. He doesn’t plan a day/time in advance. Seldomly he gives me notice.

[BarryLiverstone]

Sure. Go ahead and follow me and I’ll try to help you figure out why he’s doing that.

[BarryLiverstone]

Because he can’t just expect you to always be available like that if you have goals and a life to live

[Asker]

He doesn’t give a time neither only after he’s done running errands or his morning routine, he’ll say he’s otw or he’s coming shortly

[Alex-Snow]

Maybe they just like to chill

[beefcakebradybatson]

Some men with few worries are relaxed.

[msc545]

Many of us simply no longer give a shit.

[Anonymous]

I have no idea, I'm never like that.