Is it better to give without any expectations, because the less you expect; lesser the chances of being disappointed?

[Pearl222]

[aaron13547]

Yes id say so if you want to look at it that way. I dont "try" to give anything. I try to have so much of it myself it just overflows. That overflow people call me giving, but I don't see it that way.

Flowers in the flower shop are a good example in times of abundance if I can't sell certain things before they will began to wilt and die, ill give it away. I've had people tell me im going to put myself out of business. But in reality it seems more like its made people like me and come but stuff more often.

Imagine if my plants had expectations of me before they made a flower. Lol, I wouldn't have a very successful business. 😉

[Pearl222]

Beautifully answered

[aaron13547]

Thanks 😊

[OlderAndWiser]

When I was young, I worked midnight shifts in a hospital. I liked to drink coffee during the shift and I preferred cream and sugar in the coffee. Some nights, there was no sugar; some nights, there was no cream; and some nights, there was no sugar and no cream. I decided that if I learned to drink my coffee black, I would rarely be disappointed. Before long, I realized that this was a lesson for hos to live my life.

[OlderAndWiser]

Thanks for MHO!

[Summeroflove]

Well that sounds really good if everyone did that. Yes, I would say if you’re giving to be generous then give without expecting anything.

But since you asked this in dating… If you’re giving to someone getting zero in return. I mean…. Is that a relationship? Now maybe people want different things out of a relationship in the sense that two people provide different things. But that’s also a give and take. If someone just contributes little to none…. Then yeah you will probably become miserable.

I know it sounds sweet…. But if one person expects you to give without wanting anything in return. But they also feel entitled…. I mean. Probably a narcissist at best. It’s a dead end being with them.

[ohsheeT]

I Don'\nT even think about that.\nThe only thing that I think of is, I'm going to give somebody this because of this reason, and that's all there is to it. I don't do it because I want something back

If I did it for that, then it would not mean nothing to me. And that's the act of giving to somebody is to give it to them, because they either they want it, because you want to give it to them, that's the fun part about giving it's just that moment. Nothing else

[AviatorTom]

It's always better to give without expectations, but not for the reason in this question.

You give because it makes you feel good, and it helps others.

[DishLady]

Meh. The disappointment ultimately gets you at some point.

[MrChinaski]

There are different types of expectations of a partner. Sure, give until your little heart is content regardless of reciprocation and see how things play out. But at some point you have to call that your partner does not want to or is not capable of sustaining a mutually loving relationship.

• Love is a verb. If they aren't doing things to make your life better steadily over time then it isn't a loving relationship.
• If they are withholding trust and intimacy then you are never going to reach a level of connection that makes the relationship worth staying in.

It's not a scorecard that is meant to be balanced. But there need to be frequent entries on both sides of the ledger.

You need to be willing to walk away.

[Pearl222]

Been there, done that…. but thank you for putting it like that. Great perspective!

[Zack-Bann]

The only person I have expectations from is myself


So I expect myself to give, to care, to achieve


But I do my best not to expect it from anyone else because aI can’t truly control what they do


So if they reciprocate I can wholeheartedly appreciate it
And if they don’t, then I have nothing to be sad about

[Pearl222]

I guess this is exactly what I’m learning now as well, to have expectations only from myself…. because like you said, if it’s reciprocated well and good; else no disappointment because there was no expectation in the first place.

[abc3643]

Yes. In essence, you've discovered a tenet of Buddhism.
In short, when you have expectations, you have disappointment when those expectations fail to occur.
Thus, if you don't have expectations, you won't be disappointed.
One of the tenets of Buddhism is this concept of "impermanence"; the recognition that nothing is permanent and that change always occurs. So, if you have expectations that things will remain the same, you will become disappointed when they change.

[melanieeeB]

I'm more a giver and i do it out of wanting to give and I don't expect something in return but I learned two things, 1. Don't let others take advantage of you, because some people only take from you and you can not entertain that and 2. Some people will feel uncomfortable if you give to much, so I had to learn to balance that and not over do it

[Bitter_Sweet94]

Giving without expectations does protect you from disappointment,
but I think balance is healthier.

It’s okay to hope for reciprocity, that’s how relationships stay mutual.

Just don’t let expectations replace genuine intention.

[OneViewpoint]

If you aren't giving without expectations, you're buying or trying to buy something/someone with gifts. That's not giving. That's a transaction the other person never asked for. You don't seem to comprehend that. You appear to be butthurt because your expectations weren't met. That's a you problem.

[Nikki1989]

Indeed, it is more beneficial for one's mental health to give without expectation; however, it necessitates a highly specific mindset in order to be sustainable..

[VioletHaze]

Yes. But don't lose yourself in the process. You deserve to have it reciprocated at least to a certain degree.

[beenherebefore]

Yes, don't do stuff expecting to get something in return do it out of generosity or because you feel is the right thing to do.

[RandomGirl42]

When I give I do have expectations but it might not be what u expect. I give 'cuz I want to 'cuz it makes me feel good to give so when I give anything emotional or otherwise I expect to feel good. And I do. 😊

[serious]

No, I disagree. There is nothing wrong in expecting things or having standards. However, it is also important to accept the consequences if things don't happen as per the expectations of the person.

[ProbablyClueless]

Give with strong boundaries and discernment, but not with expectations.

[exitseven]

I think that relationships work better if you do not expect anything. Keeping score is a big source of problems in a relationship/

[sage2021]

I am a natural born giver and don't have any expectations.

[Still-alive]

Let Mr Rogers be your guide. give and keep giving. if people hate on you for it OR are taking advantage of you in a toxic way just cut them out.

[HermanL]

Pearl, humbly, hear my words. Only give what you are happy to give. Only what you chose, in your conscious thought to give. That will be enough. But please choose before you give. And with that, go and have your greatest day for me! H.

[LiamJHayden]

Giving without expectations is altruistic. Giving with expectations is payment for expected services.

[snermcger]

Unless you are giving e. g. providing a service based upon predeclared and agreed terms, why would you expect anything?

[Anonymous]

Yes, but that goes hand in hand with actually being a judge of character. If you don't know how to do that then you probably shouldn't be dating altogether.😆

[guesswhereivebeen]

Yeah… just remember your not loaning money your giving it

[Xawyx-2]

I think you have a very good point.

[LunarEclipse433]

I agree. That’s what I do to avoid disappointment.

[queenofcardio]

I agree yes

[talka20]

Yeah ist is

[WonderingManII]

I agree.

[AgentG111]

Yes!

[shortster]

Yes, very much so.