Why would my boyfriend body shame me but then say he likes the way I am?

[butterly248]

I showed my boyfriend a picture of me at prom. He says I looked healthier and he would like me to get thinner again.

He knows I suffer from an eating disorder and body image issues. Even though I have lost weight since we have started dating, it's safe to say he wants me thinner.

I'm no longer a teen. The pictures I showed him I was 16 to 19. And he knows I'm semi accepting my body now and it hurt a lot. He has mentioned this before, and he didn't like it when I starved myself.

I'm about a month pregnant now. And I'm 30 in a few years. Ik my body isn't the same as it was 10 years ago. And yes while I'm on the chubbier side and yes I can be healthier. It hurt.

[ohsheeT]

When things like this come up most of the time when it hurts. Is because you know down deep it's true. But sometimes it's hard to be honest , and you already know it's so you don't want to even talk about it

I'm not saying that's what it is because I don't have a clue , but I can't tell you this
Are you working. If not as your on your phone or playing a game stand in one place bring your leg your knee up to your chest as high as you can then the next leg do it for 5 to 10 min every day. You can sit in a chair and do little moves that will keep you toned up no matter what your going to gain weight you both already know this and you dont start talking about a diet or losing weight when you're pregnant just move around. It's good for you. It's good for the baby and after the baby is bored. It will be easier to get down to where you want to be. If you even want to do that.
But the wait conversation, come on, you both don't even need to go there. This is joyful time in your life. You need to stay stress, free. And you both know that too, so don't use little things To get your blood pressure up, it's not worth it. Your kid will be the one that suffers. But you don't have to do a full blown workout , just move move your body , one of
The best things you could do is get down on your knees. Lay down on your back on the floor and then stand back up. It's hard to do even if you're not pregnant, it's hard to do if you're skinny. So you gotta do something, but don't look at it as if you're trying to lose weight, because it's not going to work, look at it as you're just trying to stay firm. And next time.\nYour boyfriend says something like that. Tell him to show you a good workout. Sit there and eat a cookie and watch him lol joking but you know what I mean

[butterly248]

I made a new update on this

[ohsheeT]

Yah to be honest as each one of us get older, it gets harder to take care of our bodies. So the better shape you're in now will mean the better shape you're in in the future, and it's not about him and what he wants, it has nothing to do with him. This is all about you. This is who you want to be. If you wanna change you change , if you want to argue all the time , let him tell you who to be

But I can tell you right now. This is not good for a relationship if he wants to truly help you. He will take your hand he will say, put a coat on, we're going for a walk, he's not going to tell you what to do. He's going to show you and go with you and help you that way

If he knows all these things about you , then he should be a little bit more sensitive about it and help you instead of harm you with pushing it into your face , not the way to

And at The same don't let his words bother you. Take control of your life because you're the one living it like I said. If you're not healthy now, you won't be healthy when you have the baby or after. And that's when people start having problems, so do a little bit at a time. Don't just think it's gonna go away if you're overweight, you have to do something to make it happen. And that's the first thing is just, to be honest to yourself and just be positive, it doesn't matter what other people think. It matters only what you think. Doesn't matter what people tell you to do even me, it doesn't matter what I'm saying right now, what matters is what you think. And what you do about it It's your life, it's your baby and you want to be around for your baby. So do whatever it takes 1 minute a day.5 minutes a day, 10 minutes a day, it doesn't matter. You're doing something that's all that counts

[bowenw]

He must lack sensitivity to the feelings of others to say something so meanspirited.

[bowenw]

Thank you for the MHO. 😊

[sage2021]

Of course you feel hurt. I would too!

Now that you're pregnant isn't the time to starve yourself and I am sure you already know that. When I was pregnant the doctors back then said l could gain 28 pounds while pregnant. I gained 50! When I got pregnant I weighed around 100 pounds though.

Since you'll have to wait until a while after the baby is here, you really can't do anything to loose weight. So, you'll just have to put it out of your mind and just take the best care of you and your baby. He will just have to deal with it.

[butterly248]

I'm sorry u went through that but I'm not continuing the pregnancy if he makes me feel like this constantly

[sage2021]

Thank you for the MHO 🙂

[StephanieChick111]

He's an immature asshole.

[Finchie40]

Because your boyfriend is a manipulative asshole and I’m sorry to hear you are pregnant with his baby

[Summeroflove]

Cause seems like he’s a little bitch lol

[WonderingManII]

I'm not sure He is body shaming you. Sounds like He's being honest that He would prefer you to be thinner, and yet He loves you enough that you being chubby doesn't bother him enough to leave you. Sometimes it is best not to have these conversations with your boyfriend.

[butterly248]

I did an update. It's body shaming

[WonderingManII]

@butterly248 He sounds weird.

[butterly248]

Yeah it's not good :(

[Still-alive]

Yeah thats terrible. i really don't like to be the type to say 'just break up' to most relationship questions but this dude you're with i don't see getting any better, i would seriously think about leaving if i were you. I know you're pregnant but if he's saying this stuff now imagine if you grow older with him and he starts shaming you even more as you age? i can see it happening.

[butterly248]

I did an update