Is it a deal breaker if the person you want to pursue has zero friends?

Question

While having zero friends isn't a deal breaker for me, not having any friends at all can be seen as a red flag I've come to realize when dating people who had no friends. It may be an indication that they lack social skills which isn't inherently bad but it may not be necessarily a good thing either especially if we're in social situations.

This is not to say I'm a social butterfly because I'm not but I do have two friends at least.

Bricealan · Accepted Answer

@simslover92 I agree with you, in that having 0 friends might be a red flag, and the person may be hard to get along with, or just not have any 'social skills at all. I worked with an individual like that, and the HR person asked me right before hiring me if I could "work with a difficult person". That warned me right away and the guy was a true ass hole in every sense of the word.

Chazmatazz269 · Accepted Answer

I would be leery. Someone who doesn’t have friends outside of their relationship might tend to be a little obsessive or codependent. Maybe less so if they’re a workaholic or have very involved hobbies. It’s not necessarily a deal breaker, but i would definitely approach them with caution.

sage2021 · Answer

No, it wouldn't bother me. I would be able to tell if he's socially awkward with me if he doesn't know how to socialize.

It also depends on certain things why someone has friends or doesn't.

I know that I made childhood friends and I am still in touch with them and they are with me as well. They were always my favorite friends. I had other friends but our friendships just weren't like the ones from women who have known me since I was a teenager. None of them live near me but we're still friends.

As a person goes through life and makes friends, things happen like one of them moves away or many of them moved away.

Friends also die whether you are young or old when it happens.

So, you would need to take into consideration why a person is friendless.

Honestly, it's not really fair, or nice to judge someone based on wheather they have friends or not.

Noredcarpet · Answer

God, I hope not. I had zero friends, close by at least after leaving a bad relationship when I couldn't go back. I dated someone and I did not tell him about my ex or the friends but I started to get psnic when he wanted me to meet his people as I wasn't ready to open up to him about my past. Moving forward in life I got me some new friends. Now was I the red flag and should be dumped for having "run away from the bad ex and the friends I knew was his connection in trying to get in contsct with me and not let go, have my nightmare start all over, or was he and my zero friends the red flag? I guess until u don't know the reason why someone don't have friends it would not be a deal breaker, sure, maybe a red flag but not neccery the one I was dating fault. Thsts my take on it, but I get what u mean.

front2back · Answer

I personally don't care, but I also have dated a handful of women who lacked friends specifically due to betrayal among other things. So I really don't blame them for not having friends. Honestly with women, I expect a serious woman who cares about her own relationships seriously to have a smaller circle of friends over time due to the aforementioned above.

Bigger issue I run into is that I have a good handful of friends, but they are mostly all male. I do have friends that are women but not locally to me and more lifelong, distance doesn't matter friends. For some women a lack of female friends is a big negative because it suggests you don't get along with women.

Still-alive · Answer

Im gonna say ‘not necessarily’ but it might be a bit odd. Like are they not able to form any relationships at all even friendships? It’ll make me wonder if she can fully commit to me.

something else i notice is the types who can’t maiming friendships tend to be the overly clingy types. Now im ok with a little bit of clinginess but it can easily go overboard. See the overly attached girlfriend (and boyfriend) memes for how lol.

Is it a deal breaker if the person you want to pursue has zero friends?

ArrowheadSW · Answer

I'm not sure that it would be a deal breaker but it would be a red flag. I dated a lady for 3 years who at first didn't have any friends. It was rough because she relied on ME for all of her social and emotional life. She had no friends to "vent" on or to discuss issues with and it all fell on me. Some guys might like that their S/O dumps everything on them maybe? It was too much of a burden. She met more friends as time went on, thankfully.

Joshydavid25 · Answer

Yeah, I would like her to have at least a friend or two even if they hardly hang out.. I don't have a lot of friends and haven't really hung out in a bit (a few months), but I have decent social skills and am not that shy anymore at least.. That's from working in customer service for a while.. So if she had no friends but wasn't socially awkward and just a homebody I would be fine with that..

Mysticknght · Answer

I dont think it would be a deal breaker because it would depend on the person's situation because it really does suck not have friends but you can also end up focusing more on yourself and your relationship but in the end it can kinda get lonely for you

WhitneySnow · Answer

Zero friends is troubling because they may have trouble forming relationships. Do they at least have close online friends? That still counts.

Anonymous · Answer

No. I don’t have any friends (anymore) either because of social anxiety. Him not having any friends would mean I don’t have to meet or hang out with his friends, which is great for me. The reason it can be a red flag is because it can point to other things like him being a bad/mean person, lack ability to form lasting relationships or whatever but I’d look for other things to make sure that’s not the case.

QuestionObsession · Answer

People who are awaked to and are aware of the bullshit in the world at the high level of consciousness, end up getting lonely because they cannot connect with the ordinary sheep anymore.

So no, it is not always a red flag to have no friends. Truth seeking is often a lonely path/ life.

FreyaRed · Answer

I would be more concerned if people they call friends are their real friends or acquaintances who just use and let themself being used. I like people who see world in optimistic light but I despise people who are naive and tend to wish think.

sawno · Answer

No because if you are the person who truly values deep connections you will likely say you have no or few friends. Or something could have happened in life that made you unable to maintain the friendships. Its not a red flag to me at all.

damaster · Answer

Deal breaker probably not, but that would be a red flag to me & something worth paying close attention to. I would 1st have to see why she doesn't have any friends & hear her out on that. If her not having friends is because of problems she created, then that's a big red flag.

goaded · Answer

It's a big red flag.

Incels think women should sleep with them because they're nice guys, but why would anyone sleep with them if nobody even wants to be friends with them?

That said, if they're new to the area and not creepy...

KostasKouvalis · Answer

Not neccessarily. They could just live in an area with no young people. Personally, I would like that, because it means I would have her all to myself and wouldn't need to compete for her attention.

MikeTheBartender · Answer

Unless she's new in town it's definitely a red flag. Another one can equally be no long term friends. Her best friend is someone she's only known 3 months. Good question.

Shiprex · Answer

It would probably be off putting if they had loads of friends that are just hangers on than a few good ones.

Nikki1989 · Answer

It's not a dealbreaker, but it does raise some red flags.

Berethor · Answer

No, I am the only friend she needs, also there was times where I was with zero friends too.

queenofcardio · Answer

Yes unless he has family that he is close to.

Hagar88 · Answer

Not necessarily. Men have no problem with it, for women its a big deal.

beenherebefore · Answer

I would assume they have trouble with socializing and relationships.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Nope. I don't have friends neither. No one on this earth is actually your friend, its more like an associate. Your only friend in this world is God and the Dollar in your pocket.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Hell no. I don't really have any friends, either! One of the last ones just died last week.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

Yes it is cause how do you no not one friend at all what does that say about you as a person

lilBigPotato · Answer

No but it raises some questions.

exitseven · Answer

No, because I do not have many friends anymore.

Anonymous · Answer

nope. that's a green flag

Staximus · Answer

Yeah, those people are usually crazy

dudeinohio · Answer

I actually consider that a big green flag.

SamIam96 · Answer

Zero? Or just you?

Anonymous · Answer

Not a deal breaker at all.

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

I don't have any

UrLoveMocha · Answer

Nope not at all.

Lyndseylou38 · Answer

No not at all!!!

Is it a deal breaker if the person you want to pursue has zero friends?

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