Do the good ones get taken as they get older?

Question

do you agree that if someone is single over the age of 35, there is a high likelihood that they are still single for a reason? something terrible that nobody can overlook or being too picky or being too ugly/short? or maybe simply a bad guy?

Its like visiting the grocery store produce section at 9:30p at night where all everyone has finished their shopping and went home. The only produce left over are spoiled bananas, bruised apples, squashed tomatoes, cracked eggs.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

No. I know a really handsome (for his age) man who is a law professor in his sixties who has never been married and has dated dozens of women. He’s single by choice and he still gets women in my age group and their thirties. (Granted, he has plenty of money, but he’s not Elon Musk or anything, and it’s not just that.)

Nikki1989 · Accepted Answer

95% of the time, yes.  There are reasons why someone might be single for a long time, and they are rarely positive.

uzumymw · Accepted Answer

For some that is true!  But there are also plenty of people who recently became single and are still amazing, just had the unluck to become single at 35

Hardon-Collider · Accepted Answer

Sure. "Good" men can never have patience, take breaks, or just be celibate.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

A guy over 35 who is single may be single because

his partner died
his partner cheated
his partner was an alcoholic or drug addict
his partner was violent
he is taking time after a bad relationship ended
he had a breakup in which both partners were at fault, and he is trying to learn his lessons
perhaps he is having some medical problems and doesn't have the energy for dating

Is there a HIGH likelihood that it is a bad sign? No. Is it a possibility that this is a bad sign? Of course. But people under the age of 35 can have red flags, also.

Instead of judging someone by their age or some other outward sign, you should spend enough time with them to make your own informed decision about their character.

ohsheeT · Answer

No, that's not what that means. Remember. The word reason it can be twenty thousand different reasons

And the moral of the story about going to the grocery store late at night is either go early or go to another store. You don't have to buy their product or produce. Because then you're stuck with it

Rei13 · Answer

Majority of time yes but not always

Orion84 · Answer

I agree they're single for a reason, but that reason doesn't necessarily have to be a negative one.

Some people simply choose not to be in a relationship, which has become increasingly more common lately. That doesn't mean there's something wrong with them, and it's unfair to make that assumption.

Maybe they've had relationships in the past that didn't work out for some reason, other than them being a bad partner, and they're just more comfortable being by themselves, now.

Maybe they spent their younger years focusing on their careers, and only now that they've become financially secure are they looking to settle down.

They could have had some other reason which prevented them from being ready to date, like caring for family, or their education, which took up a lot of their time, and didn't allow them to focus on a relationship.

I'm sure I could come up with a dozen reasons why someone might be single at age 35+ but could still be a great partner, but the point is you don't know until you get to know someone. Making assumptions doesn't do anyone any favors, because you could potentially pass on a good relationship for reasons that aren't true.

drummerdude25 · Answer

I am single at 35 because I learned very young that when I fall for someone, I fall very hard and staying single is out of protection… I got messed up pretty bad for a good length of time. It was like a rain cloud following me around for years, feeling that pit of emptiness in my stomach, just not feeling confident or like myself. I felt like I was seeing everything in gray, black, and white… no color or vibrance to life. Lots of tears and crying myself to sleep. No drive to get up in the morning…

Do I think getting hurt again would be as bad, knowing what I know now? No… but it’s not something I’d like to experience again if I don’t have to.

I'm really just looking for someone that clicks with me and meets me halfway, and understands and knows how to carry herself. I know what I like, I just need to feel that mutual effort on her end. And it’s like of course I want it to be fun, but at the same time, I don’t play games either. I’m not the performative type. Someone with that kind of self-awareness you know?

My life has also been quite chaotic since those times I mentioned before. Whether it’s been me searching for answers, going to great ends to get the most I can out of life, or what. Moving here, moving there. Literally moving great distances, only for it to happen again a handful of years later. I just never feel like I’m quite where I want to be and I’m still working at that. Now I feel like I know, it’s just a matter of getting there. I’m close.

MrChinaski · Answer

Yes.

Nobody 'just hasn't met the right person' by 35 years old. There are right people everywhere, all around you.

Even in the most benign situation, where the explanation is that it hasn't been a priority and they have been been busy pursuing other life goals, do you honestly think that they have suddenly turned on a dime and you now are their priority and they want to invest all of that time with you. (And by the way I would want to see some evidence they have actually made progress on those other life goals and not merely sat around thinking lofty, noble thoughts'.)

The explanations get less palatable from there.

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

In my eyes, it can't be more untrue lol, 35 is as much the rush towards babies than it is time to get on with this divorce you postponed for so long. Plus I don't seem to live in places where people experience the boomer way of life, on both existential and financial accounts 😂

HighValue · Answer

Older men are more often single because they won't tolerate the low quality and immorality of most women and prefer a less stressful life. Older women are often single because they made too many immoral decisions in life and are unwanted by good quality men, but they refuse to settle for the low quality men that are actually on their level.

Quigly · Answer

Marriage is not a Religious Institution. There is no moral superiority or any other kind of superiority by getting Married.

Marriage is simply an act of Prostitution for Money. It is a Financial decision.

It is a Government institution created to generate taxes.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Most often, girls avoid the good ones like the plague and ONLY go after the assholes!! Then they complain about the assholes (usually TO one of the good ones!!) and wonder why they never pick the good ones!!!

Redstang88 · Answer

Honestly past like 27/28 it’s pretty slim pickings. Those of us that aren’t a complete disaster have become so bitter and jaded by years of dating said disasters we want no part of even trying anymore

genericname85 · Answer

people break up. so you can't claim "all the good ones are taken". that's just a means of reducing cognitive dissonance cause you're single and you really don't wanna blame that on yourself.

exitseven · Answer

It seems to be how it works, however there are lots of guys who are unmarried in their 30s that through their life circumstances was too busy with a career or had other responsibilities.

RavVid · Answer

There is good evidence that those with secure attachment styles find each other in their 20's and rest are bruised bananas after they are 30. Both genders.

permanentem · Answer

If you took those distant parking spots you might not be such a fat ass. They'd make you work harder and show up early.

DonaldDarko · Answer

I'm older and single on purpose, I see no way to win with romance or being part of a couple, now I've gotten a Schopenhauer complex.

slatyb · Answer

There's always a reason, but it may not be a red flag. Sometimes people marry badly, then divorce. I did, my wife did. Now we're happy together.

NerdGuy89 · Answer

I stopped dating 7 years ago. Women are evil whores. People keep telling me i’ve changed. Yes, because i got used by disgusting women. Women deserve everything horrible thing that happens to them.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes and no. At almost 32, still no intimate woman in my life past or present. Yet I treat it like a 50/50 - it's not a big deal if I remain single. It doesn't bother me as much as it may bother other people 😅❤️

BEANGENOS · Answer

i agree. us bad ones. are single we'll into our 30s. like me for example im divorced and im a bad person a real pos. but i dont give a fuck. so yeah get you a good guy before there 30. lol only the thugs dudes and hard mofos are left. 😂

dudeinohio · Answer

Not at all true. You have a lot of divorced people. Some good people in that group.

Alex-Snow · Answer

I don't know... im 20 and there are plenty of great women around

888theGreat · Answer

No , I am a All Star that's still available. It could be men want to stay single.

LiamS95 · Answer

I woulx go to a grocery dtore at 9:30 pm justto meet you.

Anonymous · Answer

Some do, But not many. Most of those good Men die alone and Women still complain about how hard it is for them in the dating world.

Anonymous · Answer

Wtf are eggs doing in the produce isle? What 3rd world store are you shopping in?

LazerBean · Answer

Not always, but quite often this is the case.

Anonymous · Answer

Not necessarily. Bad luck happens.

pricey1983 · Answer

Yes my reason is she passed away of COPD

Gabriel-Chicanito · Answer

Yes-but not all the time..

queenofcardio · Answer

Some do yes

Do the good ones get taken as they get older?

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