Dating

To be or not be …breadcrumbed?

I was seeing a guy for a little while. In the beginning things felt mutual and normal. I asked him what he was looking for, but instead of giving me a clear answer he talked around it and encouraged me to say what I wanted first. Being the brave woman that I am, I did just that… only to get vagueness in return. I initially took that lack of clarity as an answer.

We started talking again later and he said my assumptions about him were wrong, but he still never clearly said what he actually wanted. I really liked him guys i thought we could be something, so against my better judgement I agreed to just be “friends.”

The dynamic started to become a cycle. Sometimes he would step up, message more, and feel more present. Then after a while he’d pull back again. When that happened his replies would get shorter, more emojis instead of real responses, and things would start to feel distant.

At one point I asked if I could see him. He said yes, but nothing ever came of it. Meanwhile he’d send videos of himself just relaxing at home or doing random things on weekends.

Eventually I asked for some space because my mind was getting too preoccupied with the situation. The very next evening he texted saying he had a “vivid dream about me.” At that point it honestly just felt like sweet talk, especially after I had just said I needed space.

So I told him I didn’t want to be part of this dynamic anymore. His response was basically “this is what you requested,” and later he said something like “do what your body needs, miss.” I thanked him and deleted his number because I didn’t want to get pulled into another long back and forth.

Looking back, I feel like I was slowly being trained to accept whatever level of attention or effort he felt like giving, while my needs weren’t really being met.

At the same time part of me wonders if I’m being unfair and maybe he did try in his own way, it just wasn’t enough for me.

So I’m curious what outside perspectives think.

Thanks gang x

To be or not be …breadcrumbed?
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