Approaching 30 with no relationship: is something wrong with me?

[Anonymous]

I got everything but never love.
I was weak, underweight where you can see my bones.
So I focus on the only thing I can control, my skills.
I got the best university, the best Job, which was available to me on my skills and hard work.
With that salary, I fixed everything from my body to my looks and got confident enough to talk to everyone. Even went through the pain of wisdom tooth extraction 3 times and then braces at the age of 23, now I am approaching my 30s and still never found anyone who loves me. I was only loved by my parents for the money I brought in so it was too transactional to them as well.
Now this week I am looking at my whole life's struggles and now I question whether I am just someone who doesn't love myself or just my need for love is never going to satisfy. I am now thinking of just donating everything I got. As well as life, cause it feels the thing which I struggled to get has become a trauma or addiction.
I am afraid that I am so needy or clingy, that I am going to scare people away.
I had a simple fantasy, find someone at the age of 18 and have a relationship till 30 and marry her

[Simslover92]

Nothing is wrong with you. I didn't get into my first relationship until 31, but I wish I had loved myself first when I entered the relationship but I didn't and it failed in the end.

So my advice to you would be to figure out if you truly love yourself first before concerning yourself with being in a relationship because how can you truly love someone properly if the love for yourself is not there?

I think the fact that you are aware says a lot about you and that you know you need to take the necessary steps to get there first before searching for someone.

Don't worry so much about your age. It will happen when it's supposed to happen and that needs to be when you have truly accepted who you are and love yourself.

I'm honestly just starting to truly accept and love myself now but I know I have a long way to go before I can enter into another relationship but I'm okay with that now.

So do the work. You will get there in due time and find the person you're meant to be with eventually.

[Shrimpenjoyer]

Liar!

Then why did you the opposite on a different post?

At least stay consistent in your takes

[Simslover92]

What do you mean? How did I lie?

[Shrimpenjoyer]

On a different post regarding pretty much the same topic you said most of the time it is a red flag if a man hasn't been in a relationship by 30

[Anonymous]

You post this same question all the time and we all give you very good advice, but you never do anything we suggest to improve yourself, just come back and ask the same question as if everything is supposed to magically fix itself.

[exitseven]

okay- you can point to a lot of accomplishments and you seem to be intelligent enough to figure this out as well.

Women look for people who are accomplished and interesting. Instead of just engaging in only self improvement projects, try turning some of that energy outward and forge some new friendships and relationships. Just try to meet people and develop new interests.

At 30 years old it will be more difficult but you have accomplished a lot in your life and you can do this.

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO😎

[Anonymous]

but lots of people don't find the person there going to marry at 18 . and at that age girls would have way better options than men as there better looking and more fun at that age. men tend to generate less interest when younger then more interest when older and have careers.

have you tried online dating or local singles events? like nothing has generated any leads?

[InknKink]

Your mindset is also something you can control.

Take the time to find the a good psychologist. It'll do more for you than anything you'll find on this site. The right psychologist can be transformative.

[Anonymous]

I'm more than a decade older than you, and still never had a relationship.