Why would a guy chase me for months but avoid meeting in person?

[Anonymous]

We met abroad a few months ago.

Also instead of meeting me for real when we both in the same city, he keeps texting me real time for hours…

[HollyK21]

Only he could tell you with factuality what the hold up is. I’d assume it’s loss of interest, since that’s pretty normal after the first couple months, aka the honeymoon phase. In any case though, I would not keep concerning myself with that.


Back when I was dating, a guy could not keep giving me excuses not to hang out, or blow me off. It just sets the tone for what sort of man I’d be dealing with going forward and I am not a fan of guys who don’t respect my free time. I’m not a fan of guys who say one thing and do another, or those who either blow me off or keep rescheduling. In your situation, I’m not sure what changed on his end or what’s going on, but I’d most likely wash my hands and keep it moving.

[Asker]

Yes exactly that’s what I felt.

But it seems as well he could be avoidant type (?), he wrote me the day before and wanted everything to be good and on the moment it’s like he started to panick. He was finding every sort of little excuses not to meet directly. He was talking with me from his room instead of meeting me? Really I don’t get it.

[HollyK21]

Sorry to just get back to you, I logged off for the night lol. Normally I’d say this sounds like a catfish, because usually they are the ones to keep putting off meeting in person until they have no choice but to confess. However since you’ve already met him, I would now wonder if he has a woman in the picture that he can’t really navigate around. I know that probably doesn’t feel like the best representation of his character since he probably seems so nice and genuine, but it’s important to keep in mind that “nice” guy doesn’t always equate to “good” guy. In many cases they are the most deceiving because women will almost always give them benefit of the doubt based off the fact that they’re so nice, couldn’t be capable of cheating, lying, etc. when in reality they’re probably some of the worst offenders.

Let’s say he does have a woman in the picture, if he’s cheated or been shady in the past then she’s probably always suspicious because she doesn’t trust him. If he’s gone during windows of time where he isn’t where she expects him to be (like at work), it would obviously raise red flags. Let’s say none of this is the case and he’s just too lazy to make plans or follow through, and in this case or any other, cut your losses. Your time is valuable and it’s not cool to have or wasted. It’s not cool to face repeated disappointment, or having no clarity as to what’s going on with this dude or where you stand. It’s too much trouble.

[Asker]

Yes You’re right ! I felt like losing my time and energy..

[exitseven]

It is like the dog chasing the car. Once he catches it he does not know what to do after that.

[Asker]

It’s a bit that. I don’t understand?

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO😎

[Anonymous]

Weird. I would want to meet a girl I was obsessed with as soon as possible

[Anonymous]

So you've never actually met him in person?

https://www.youtube.com/embed/cjcVJsHF3Cw

[Asker]

I met him abroad when travelling.
Now it was opportunity to meet again after months. He seemed stressed on the day …

[Mariogirl09]

He deff has a girlfriend or broke/ no car

[Asker]

No no we came here to meet around an event and he spent the whole time talking to me but started to find excuses when it was the moment to meet

[Asker]

We shared the event but it seems he avoided being alone with me

[Mariogirl09]

He just wants sex

[Asker]

He had the opportunity later in the evening but he avoided too lol

[Mariogirl09]

He sounds like a flake

[Asker]

Haha

[slatyb]

He's not single.

[In_Trance]

He's married

[Asker]

Nope and he s Young

[In_Trance]

So go to his place... See what happens