Why is my best friend of 13 years suddenly pulling away after flirting?

[mel725]

We’ve been friends 13 years, both had relationships etc and we finally got back into each others lives again in October, he asked me to join his church, meet his friends and family.. the first few months we texted daily, sent music and pics and had so many deep convos.. so happy to be back in eachothers lives and both single. Then randomly he became distant out of nowhere.. we ended up having a 4 hour coffee date where he told me he wasn’t ready to pursue a relationship and was waiting for gods timing. I expressed my hurt in our flirting and getting close just for him to tell me that. He’s confused me..

In person he stares at me , flirts, hugs me, we have a lot of chemistry. But he doesn’t reach out in text anymore and no more closeness like before and I just don’t understand what happened. He says he’s just in a bad place and not doing well in life.. I’m trying to be supportive.. should I back off and stop going to his church? Is he pushing me away because he doesn’t like me? Should I wait for him? I don't know it went from hot to cold so quick I have whiplash. Our chemistry in person is incredible. But the change up is hurting me.

13 years ago he expressed he loved me, but it wasn’t the same on my end then.. now we are aligned spiritually, and life seems to have brought us here.. but he’s distanced himself.. what happened? Why would he let us miss out on each other now? Why would he flirt and pursue me for months to switch up on me.. he told me he couldn’t tell me what was in his heart because it would only further the bond and make it harder.. that where we are right now it’s not the time.. do I wait for him? I’m so confused.

[Anonymous]

To answer this more concretely we would have to know him.

I don't care if it's 1 week or 50 years. Men do not forget rejection. If i expressed love for a woman and she did not reciprocate i would NEVER do it again until she did. It's not about pride (as you may be thinking). It's about knowing someone is as commited as you. He may still really like you. On many levels i still like many of the women who've rejected me in life. I still wish the best for them. I just know i cannot fully trust them. Understand?

At least he trusted you enough to let you know he wasn't doing well in life. And you're reaction to that MIGHT have cemented that on the surface you've grown a little. Below the surface you're still the same woman 13 years. That wasn't really interested.

To me the answer is simple. 13 years. Ago he was willing to do the heavy lifting (as most guys are when they younger) but now he's older and wiser. You've proven yourself to be an unnecessary risk. Now you either want allay those fears of his or you do not. Everybody will be just fine if you just choose to go on your merry way.👍

[bowenw]

If a guy was seriously interested you would know it and he would be in your face as much as possible. His behavior makes me thinks he has someone else or was pressured by his family not to pursue you. I suggest you move on and not waste time waiting for him or anyone.

[bowenw]

Thank you for the MHO. 😊

[Nikki1989]

You can't forge a lasting relationship through texting.

[InknKink]

I'm as confused as you are over your story... he pursued you in the past, expressed feelings and was rejected? you fell apart for a time? Then rekindled and he pursued you for several more months before going cold?

[Ariesman81Nshiiit]

Welcome to the friend zone

[In_Trance]

Because you didn't give him the right signs

[Anonymous]

ask him why

[Anonymous]

You can be my friend