Dating
1 mo

Why did the guy I was dating suddenly get distant and mean when everything was going good?

I started dating a guy back in early Jan. We hit it off right away. Every date he would always have little comments, tho, telling me I deserve better, should run, and that this is him. We've both been through bad relationships and knew that about each other. He was always kind, affectionate and caring.

The last time we hung out was my birthday. I took him cake, homemade wine, etc., for a date night. He ended up taking me to his friend's to drink. While there he said "this is me. The other times hanging out were me taming it down. Drinks go down easy and i get rowdy. You should run. I wouldn't blame you." I got tears in my eyes and tried to brush it off but was very confused. He then got really affectionate shortly after. That night he initiated intimacy for the first time, and again the next a. m. Afterwards he said he was in his head and embarassed and ashamed. That he knew he shuts down after intimacy and did it anyway. He told me more about his past and said "I'm a very broken man" in tears. He told me he liked me a lot, cared about me, and then hugged me. The next day I asked to talk. He got harsh and said I was insecure. I got anxious. He got more mean. 3 days later he texted & called and said he was sorry, really didn't want to step back from things, and that he knew I was just scared and he was scared and running. That night we talked and he was cold again. Told me he's effed up in the head and only going to hurt me and it's better for me to hurt now than later.

The following days he said it was all my fault and that my anxiety and talking about our pasts ruined his feelings. That I pushed him away, even though he said I did nothing wrong. There was no conversation, just continued mean and then blocking me when I told him I was very confused and hurting. I don't understand at all and have really been struggling with this. Any and all input would be greatly appreciated because I just can't make any sense of this and am not doing well with it. I feel broken.

Why did the guy I was dating suddenly get distant and mean when everything was going good?
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