When she says she wants things to happen naturally, am I on hold or being let go?

Question

I’m a 30-year-old guy working night shift security at a hospital, and I’m currently stuck in a nuanced, low-pressure dynamic with a coworker named Bev that I need some perspective on. After getting out of a relationship where my ex was financially abusive, I’ve been in full on recovery mode, focusing on my own stability, getting back into hobbies and grinding out significant overtime hours to solidify my financial standing. I’m genuinely enjoying being single right now because I realized that if a girl asked me for a financial favor at this point, I’d just shut down I’m protecting my peace and making sure I’m mentally solid before I try to give myself to anyone else.

Enter Bev. We’ve got a connection that is refreshing because she is direct and honest. We’ve already gone out together, and we almost made out she even texted me immediately after to tell me she had a good time. We have these interactions where we just joke around between hospital duties, and it’s become this safe zone for both of us. Despite the chemistry, our lives are absolute chaos. We have attempted to make plans on four separate occasions, but each time they have fallen apart due to the sheer incompatibility of our schedules.

She has an overwhelming schedule between school, family, and hospital work, and I’m just trying to keep my head above water with my own shift work and financial recovery. If she sees me in person after not answering a text she'll impromptu apologize. However most recently she was open with me in person about her stress, explaining that she has been focusing on herself and that she’s finding it hard to find the bandwidth to even text back her family, let alone anyone else. She’s made it clear that she wants to keep things low pressure, and she wants things to happen naturally between us.

I’ve decided to lean into that. I’m keeping it chill. Ultimately, I need to know is she shelving me for a relationship? when the time is right? or is she just letting me off easy?

rojodefender · Answer

Your relationship in it's current state is not important enough for it to become another stresser to her.
To be in a relationship with her, either 1. Your romantic relationship is going to develop to a point where she thinks it's more important to her to maintain than to lose out on or 2. Her other stressers lessen and she has the ability to take life more easy and take the risk.
See how neither one of these are 100% going to happen? Don't hold out for her, but maybe don't take this as being 'let go'. and for god's sake DON'T expect or pressure anything from her because that will definitely end up in an ending of whatever is happening.

WhitneySnow · Answer

She’s keeping open the possibility of a relationship with you. She’s being honest with you. Just go with it. Don’t rush her and let things happen naturally.

In_Trance · Answer

Move on. This is a waste of time

When she says she wants things to happen naturally, am I on hold or being let go?

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