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Im not the jealous type but i don’t wanna be the stupid type either so if my boyfriend has a female friend whom he speaks everyday but he had never speak about her to me, how do I know if is just a friend or something else?
He also has a best friend that is female but he doesn’t speak to her everyday and he tell me thing about her, but this other one I know nothing about
He also has a best friend that is female but he doesn’t speak to her everyday and he tell me thing about her, but this other one I know nothing about
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
8Opinion
Well, I have a really close guy friend who I've just made up with who has a jealous girlfriend. Or so he says. I don't know if it's true or not, but I've tried to invite her to join our friend group, but he won't bring her to join us. I was all ready to let her see firsthand how close Autistic friendships are, that we all naturally have intense friendships without ulterior motives; but he's started doing things like keeping her separate, giving me extra advice and support about other guys, reading my messages and texting me during time with his girlfriend and wanting to see me more often and asking me to catch up and talk more often and he's making big sacrifices for me like hanging out in areas and with people that are important to me. I don't think inviting me out more is strange or compromising for me, but all the other stuff is interesting. Like never bringing her anywhere with us. For me, it's just another intense friendship like I have with all my male and female friends.
I don't believe in emotional cheating, but I would advise you to fight for him if you love him by telling him to set boundaries with her, not to talk during your special time together. It's possible that he has feelings for her. On the other hand, if you're always coming second to her, which seems to be how my guy friend is treating his current girlfriend, through no fault of mine, then what I would do is walk away. If he comes back, then you know he loves you first and then you set boundaries and insist that he puts you first. If he still doesn't or doesn't come back, then he was never really yours and probably making excuses to himself. p. s. I'm sorry you're going through this situation, and it must be heartbreaking. I doubt you're the same woman, but even if you are, I'd give you the same advice and say, tell him straight out to set boundaries with her. If it is me, you have nothing to fear. I told him I'm not competing to save a friendship, and he must sort this out with you himself. I was going to walk away and or distance myself from him for you.
I’d say the biggest red flag isn’t that he has a female friend. It’s that she’s apparently important enough to speak to every day, yet you’ve never heard about her.
Having friends of the opposite sex isn’t emotional cheating. Emotional cheating starts when someone begins investing the kind of emotional intimacy, attention, and secrecy that should primarily belong in their relationship. If he’s sharing his thoughts, problems, excitement, and daily life with her while keeping her hidden from you, that’s where I’d start asking questions.
That doesn’t automatically mean he’s cheating. Some people are simply private or don’t think to mention friends. But if a partner talks to someone every day and their significant other knows virtually nothing about them, I’d be curious why.
A simple rule: if he’d be completely comfortable showing you their messages, introducing you, and talking openly about the friendship, it’s probably just a friendship. If there’s secrecy, defensiveness, or a need to keep the relationship compartmentalised, that’s when alarm bells start ringing.
I have had close female friends but when they have scored a boyfriend I have backed off and not intruded on his role. Similarly when I got a girlfriend I backed of that dynamic too.
I regard that as a golden rule.
In this case I don't think you have anything to worry about. If he saw her in a romantic light he would be with her not you.
You could simply suggest he invite her over for dinner.
They can be quite a help in a relationship in fact so I suggest you try to make her your friend as well.
The problem is that I discover that he speak with her on a daily basis by mistake but if I hadn’t I wouldn’t know about her in general, why keep her as a secret when he doesn’t do that with his other female friends? Also with his other friends he doesn’t speak daily but with her he does
OK. Did you discover he spoke to her on a daily basis by snooping through his phone? I can understand you being unable to disclose that.
Did you notice how long back the calls go?
Look you sipped poison once you looked through his phone. Because you do have reasonable suspicions. Eventually this cancer will eat you up and destroy your relationship.
So you are in for a penny now. You have no option but to be in for a pound.
Be very calm and very sweet and ask him who ABC is? Because you were wanting to invite the female friend over and should you invite ABC too?
If he is just talking and not fucking yet the situation is no better than if he is fucking her routinely.
Get out with calm dignity after making him squirm around trying to explain it.
The moment they get into an exclusive, romantic relationship but still want to keep this friend close.
NO ONE should choose to commit to someone keeping a close opposite sex friend.
Say no that that. Do not date such a person. Not relationship material.
What crosses into emotional cheating isn't who you're friends with — it's what that friendship serves and what you're withholding from your partner as a result.
There is no such thing as 'emotional cheating'. It's called friendship. If you think friendship is cheating then you are a jealous person. Fix you, not your partner.
When you start expressing romantic feelings to each other. Him not telling you anything about her is really sus.
When it crosses healthy boundaries obviously. If you have to ask what cheating is you shouldn't even be in a relationship.
Emotions are exactly just that, emotions.
Cheating is cheating.
When it is overthought.
He's cheating
typical! LOL