Is self improvement for men a waste of time?

Question

Women nowadays want perfect men.

If you’re fat and lazy then yeah there’s a lot to work on.

However, it gets to a stage where no matter what you do you can’t change your looks, your height, downstairs size, not everyone can make millions and build a name for themselves.

Self improvement is a waste of time, is it better just to accept failure? Men have been set up to fail in society.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

If you think you need to improve yourself just because of a woman you have, you probably have more problems to worry about than getting dates.

I work out and eat healthy so my body feels comfortable and my T levels stay high. I have more stamina so I am not tired and sleep through out the. I eat healthy, so i dont get diabetes and my dick and other limbs doesn't fall off or need to be removed from it.

I do my hobbies because they bring me joy and happiness. I don't go out drinking wasting money on fancy dates because most of the time I know I'll regret it.

Yeah when you're in your 20s you get the FOMO, but around 25 I realized how pointless all that shit was. I regretted going out and wasting my time with people who don't benefit me more than staying or going out and playing tennis.

As for women yeah I call them up to come to my place for a hook up or a coffee date.

Over time i realize the guys that go crazy trying to impress women usually end up disappointed when she tells them she hopes he finds the one he is looking for.

Trust fund babies who did nothing to earn it usually aren't very impressive to women either.

I mean look at the women inlove with school shooters who are dead or serial killers in prisons. They have no money, but they think they are cute because of the name they have for themselves and still will fuck them over the guy who can pay for a fancy date or owns a fancy car.

My point is the reasons you improve yourself is not because of women. You do it because you want better for yourself. It's the recognition in your company that gets you the women.

Like your an elder in your Chruch and you are seen as a man that brings value to the community or it can be your popular drug dealer mob boss whoever is scared of.

But your health, your wealth, being rich in blessings is more important than sticking your dick in a vagina and ejactulating. Improve yourself, so you feel better for yourself and stop putting a woman over your own happiness.

Chazmatazz269 · Accepted Answer

Not necessarily. If you’re working on yourself for someone else’s sake, then ‘yes’ that is a waste of time and energy. If you like yourself, be yourself. If you don’t like yourself, be different.
Changing yourself for someone else will only result in resentment, which destroys everything it touches.
Look within for acceptance, not without.

Xoxocutekitty · Accepted Answer

No and yes.

1) No: objectively the following things will help u get a girlfriend: losing weight (if you're overweight), building muscle (if you're skinny or average), cutting your hair (this includes tidying your facial hair as well), buying new clothes that both fit your body and are a flattering color on you, having a clean and reliable form of transportation (clean the inside of your car before any date!!!)

2) yes: the following things will more likely help you lose a girlfriend: subscribing to anything that remotely seems like an MLM/Ponzi scheme, when it's all about self improvement for obtaining sex, content that is otherwise dudes flexing for other dudes... Not genuinely about developing relational skills like sharing, nuture, vulnerability, and sharing the mental load of life/living together.

Nikki1989 · Accepted Answer

Self-improvement is worthwhile for both genders, and it should never stop at any age.  It sounds like you have already hit the brick wall. Sad.

MrOracle · Answer

Your self-improvement should be for YOU. Figure out where you want to be and work to get there for YOU. Who gives a crap what anyone else thinks?

We know that most women today have insane, unrealistic expectations. Maybe that means you won't find a relationship partner. Accept that and learn to be okay with it. (This doesn't mean you can't get sex from them if want - that's much easier to get).

Either way, do what's right for you and quit worrying about what other people think.

AviatorTom · Answer

If a woman can't accept a man for who he is, self-improvement isn't going to change things.

Purpleronnie · Answer

It’s telling that the question is about self-improvement, yet every paragraph in your description is about women. Apparently becoming a better version of yourself only counts if it comes with some sort of certificate of approval from a woman

Hate to point out the obvious but it’s self improvement

The title contains the word ‘self’ exactly once. The rest of the post seems determined to avoid the concept altogether.

gasman70 · Answer

self improvement is great, it gives you introspection. One day you might realize that you can't do anything about other people, you can just be the squeaky wheel, the one that gets the oil. everyone is so scared out there that no one is willing to make a move anymore. so stop trying to self improve to quietly make women see you, be loud, be seen, make it so they have to pay attention. My dad, 82, has had more dates because he's simply pushy and loud than most guys I know and he was married since he was 21 and his wife, my mother only died 16 months ago.

Anonymous · Answer

Life is temporary. In that sense everything is a waste of time. But i'm pretty sure that's not what you meant. Not to mention you're probably young and idealistic enough to still be trying to accomplish something.

No, i don't think self improvement is a waste of time. But i DO think you should do it for yourself and no one else. Trying to impress ANY woman is folly. Women really do not follow any logical pattern. It's pointless to try to make good sense of them. If some woman happens to dig you, cool beans! It'll probably only be temporary anyways. Just keep being yourself and enjoy whatever happens while it happens. She'll probably lose interest. Women have an attention span of a goldfish.😆

jshm2 · Answer

LOL, it's what makes you a man.

Why the hell do you think it matters what only a woman wants? What the fuck about you?

The point of self improvement is to make yourself and your situation better. The woman comes after. As what the hell is she going to add, if you're adding nothing?

OneViewpoint · Answer

Here's the thing. If you're doing it (self improvement) to get a woman, you're doing it wrong. Find something you like or do really well. Put the work in. Enjoy the progress and the confidence that comes with it. Women will notice. They will also notice if you're an empty guy trying to build a resume to get laid.

Jersey2 · Answer

Do what you want and yes, improve yourself… but for you. There is someone for everyone so just look and look in different places than you are now. Be yourself as that in itself is attractive as it shows self confidence. Don’t change if you don't want to because you can never keep up that charade.

DonaldDarko · Answer

I bike i swim i lift. I do that for me not women. I live a celibate life and feel pretty much like Shopenhaur. If a woman notices me it takes a while sometimes to even realize what she's looking at. Forget about women they're not a goal.

Anonymous · Answer

Stop putting women on a fucking pedestal! The majority of them simply aren't worth it because they DAMN SURE aren't thinking about "improving" themselves for you! They think they are the "prize" and you are the "winner"!!! One day I hope you see through that bullshit!!!

Ez-Bri-Z_v2 · Answer

My god you whine so much. Work on that self improvement to quit it for all of our sakes. Thanks.

RareBreedOfMan · Answer

Everyday I work on self improvement.

Anonymous · Answer

only young attractive women with plenty of options want perfect men. If you want these hot young girls, then yes you will need to improve yourself. Otherwise, you will need to settle for that chubby 35 yr old.

CyberGhost615 · Answer

If you engaging in self improvement for yourself, then that’s fine. If you’re improving for women or just to get laid, then you’re stupid. Don’t worry men. The AI sex robots are coming

JesseP1nk · Answer

That is some incel level whining. Get your ass up, start working out, lose weights, go to the gym and get muscles. Learn profession which interest you, money comes along with it.

RavVid · Answer

It is not a waste of time as self-respect is important for a man.

Pretendingtobesweet · Answer

You can try but honesty is the most attractive

SparklingWine10 · Answer

We never stop improving. Or you fall behind.

exitseven · Answer

Yeah, pretty much. Guys are mostly interested in sex and beer, not necessarily in that order.

Alex-Snow · Answer

I think it is time well spent (in moderation of course)

In_Trance · Answer

You seem like a little bitch  Get your shit together

captain_voidwalker · Answer

The problem is giving the slightest shit what women think, you should be improving yourself for yourself not a woman.

Kingofkings1992 · Answer

Yet another "men are victims because they're men" blue anon. Yawn 🥱. Maybe consider a sex change since you hate being a man so much? Leave the being a man to us real men.

fishbone77 · Answer

Why would you languish in mediocracy for yourself?

Anonymous · Answer

Go ahead and accept failure. More for the rest of us.

Just_Ken · Answer

Do it for yourself. Makes life worth living.

BadInfluence05 · Answer

Self-improvement is never a waste of time.

blackeagle007 · Answer

We’re set up to fail? That’s news to me

Anonymous · Answer

Only for you maybe

Is self improvement for men a waste of time?

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