Should I walk away or see how things go with this guy?

[Anonymous]

I ( 28 F) I’m really into my guy friend ( he’s 24) by the way and we live in the same state just 2 hours away. I’ve had terrible experiences with people my age, older, and younger but I have zero kids and have never been married so someone 21-28 my age is what I’d prefer especially since I’m at the age where some people have kids and have been married and don’t want someone who has kids just not my thing. Him and I initially started off as friends in March of this year. We hit it off well as friends, he’s very easy to talk to, respectful, and takes me seriously. He was currently with his ex at the time who lives in another country (no we didn’t flirt or I didn’t pursue him) him and the ex girlfriend broke up over summer of this year. Anyhow, we didn’t talk for 2 months even tho we had established a good friendship bond! We pretty much have a lot in common we both are antisocial, introverts, and awkward people. We’ve had deep conversations about life and have experienced similar situations. In August I asked him to be my boyfriend since we reconnected or if we can try dating , he said yes. It’s been 1 month now we met in person last week and he says he didn’t feel the initial “spark” or “attraction” he was looking for and isn’t sure if he feels “love” for me. I felt blindsided because I didn’t know or don’t know still where we went wrong. Mind you, we also did get intimate but nothing bad happened, we seemed to click and felt super comfortable. This past week he’s mentioned to me he’d like me better if I was “skinnier.” He’s skinny but not tall but I don’t care I’ve never judged him or would change him. I’m a thick girl to be honest, I have some meat on me (I’m not obese) but I’m a little overweight. I can’t help but feel offended that he’s wanting me to change myself or something and I have a thyroid disease too so losing weight hasn’t been easy for the past 7 years but I’ve never let myself go completely. It truly hurts because I accept him. Should I move on?

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I’d probably walk away. Not because there’s anything wrong with you, but because he’s already telling you that the attraction and feelings aren’t where he wants them to be, and then he’s telling you he’d like you more if you were thinner.

That last part would especially bother me. You accepted him as he is, while he’s basically asking you to change your body to fit what he wants. You shouldn’t have to spend the beginning of a relationship wondering if you’re attractive enough for someone.

The fact that you connected so well as friends is real, and I understand why you want to give it a chance. But friendship chemistry doesn’t always turn into romantic chemistry. And after only a month, if he’s already unsure about loving you and questioning his attraction, I wouldn’t try to convince him.

You deserve someone who looks at you and thinks, this is the woman I want, not someone who makes you feel like you need to lose weight before you’re good enough.

And please don't start dieting or changing yourself just to keep him. If you ever want to change your body, do it because you want to, not because a guy made you feel inadequate. ❤️

[Staximus]

Some guy you talk to online and on the phone and have only seen once in your life is not your boyfriend. Just like that girl he talked to in another country who he has never seen in real life was not his girlfriend. Time for both of you to check back into reality. Get off the stupid computer and phone, go out into the real world, and learn some social skills.