Should I send an 'ultimatum' to that girl who has been hot and cold?

[loopylooper]

That girl A I have interest in has been "on and off" in terms of attitude...she would sometimes show blantant interest in me, and then cool off for a while with no replies to my text messages...

Now there is another girl B who is definitely interested in me and often hinting at dates...

I think I like girl A more, but if she is just playing with my emotions and really has no interest in me I think I will move on...

How can I hint to girl A that she has fierce competition, and if she does not drop her mind games I will "next" her?

I am thinking of posting Facebook wall messages to girl B, hinting that something more is going on...Is it a good idea to do that?

Please help me :(

[Ignorant333]

By going out of your way, using another girl to make girl A jealous your game is already lost. There is no way you can try to show a girl you don't need her while at the same time doing so much work and risking a good relationship with another! Think about it. It doesn't work and chances are you will end up with nobody.

If you like girl B then go for it, but avoid going for it because of another girl! Just keep yourself open to girl A wanting you so you can go for her later on (you might be having too much fun with girl B tho)

Right now you are acting just like a girl by playing games with her. Don't play her game! Play your own, because if you play the girls game you will find it's a game you have no practice on.

[loopylooper]

So that means I should choose one of those girls (say girl B) and at the same time keep my option open for girl A? I'm a bit confused...

[Ignorant333]

Choose the girl because you WANT to choose her, not because you want to make another girl jealous

[Serotriptomine]

Don't play games, that is rule number 1.

My advice is to state that you're interested in "Lady A" and if she returns your interest, you can THEN DECIDE to pursue "Lady A" or "Lady B".

If she leaves you in the cold, I would suggest not to bother, but she may have a ton of personal issues, or problems going on in the present.

Literally, just ask her if she's interested and wants to turn "this" into something, or tell her you're interested and gauge your reaction from her response.

Regardless, goodluck.

[loopylooper]

Thanks for the advice, I don't want to play games but I guess girl A's the one who starts it...(she acts overjoyed when I ask her out but then when I try to confirm a solid date she never replies...)

so in answer to your advice, yes I think A definitely returns my interest, but in a random basis (maybe depending on her mood...)

[Serotriptomine]

You can always consider the possibility that she may be juggling a couple guys in her hand and you just come last every time. That being said, you could give her an ultimatum to find out if she actually has any intrest in you, and if she does, then tell her to act on it because you're unsure or confused.

Literally reiterate what you're said on here (minus mentioning another girl)

[loopylooper]

Sure you are right she is quite popular with guys=[

so I'll just tell her I am confused and unsure about her interset directly? Sure she is compelled to give a direct answer but I am afraid such a direct question may cause uneasiness in her...

Sorry about that but I am new to the dating game and I desparately need good and high quality advice like yours =]

[Serotriptomine]

No problem at all, if you have any updates in the situation at a later time, feel free to comment here again or send me a message for sure.

[loopylooper]

Thanks dude I sent another message to girl A asking for a date but no reply... I guess girl A is not interested at all and she is just craving for some attention from guys and nothing else...now onto girl B !

[2confusedgirl]

If you only 'hinted' at girl A that she needs to stop playing games then aren't you also playing games? Tell her that you need to know how she feels or you will move on.

Posting stuff on Facebook to 'hint' to girl B is the same thing, more mind games.

[loopylooper]

thanks! alright I admit I should've been more direct =]

but what if I send a text asking her how she feels or I will move on, then she replies she is interested but then she never confirms a solid date...what should I do in that case? I have a feeling that she is doing this to keep her options open, and she has a number of guys in her hand to choose from...

[2confusedgirl]

Then tell her to set the date and if she can't then tell her you will take it as a sign to move on.

[guy532]

Been there done that, move on from girl A she isn't worth it, even if you get her to be you girlfriend you'll quickly find out she sucks at being one. Only very immature girls play games to that extent and immature girls make crappy gfs. I know it's tough to move on from a girl you're interested in, but it's the smart thing to do. Go for girl B, girl A has lost out.

[loopylooper]

Yeah that has been one of my main worries...even she became my girlfriend she may continue to appear and disappear without notice regularly...and in a previous conversation I got the feeling that she thinks randomly ignoring guys is a fun game to her =[

[guy532]

She is like that for one of two reasons. Either she is an attention whore, no offense, or she has been really hurt in the past and is emotionally unstable because of it. Either way you don't want her. In the second scenario once she lets her wall down and you in, she'll become very clingy and emotionally attached to you. People like that are extremely fragile so don't get into something unless you have the best intentions. My previous advice stands though, move on.

[loopylooper]

yeah I got your advice...actually somebody else I know in real life has told me before girl A isn't worth it too

[TurbulentDan12]

Does girl A know you're interested? Because letting her know you're interested should stop the hot/cold or at least cut it out a bunch. I wouldn't suggest telling her that she has competition for you or that you are interested in anyone else. Even if it is obvious, few people want to know that the person they are dating is only trying them out to compare them to some other person.

[loopylooper]

wow thanks for the quick reply you rock :)

Girl A knows I'm interested because I just asked her out on a date last week and she seems happy and she will be available at certain times, but when I follow up with a text to confirm a date she never replies...(as if an UFO has taken her away from Earth lol)

So if the obvious way doesn't work, how about subtle ways to hint that while she doesn't want me , some other girl is desperatly wanting to get a hold of me? Should I do that? :)

[TurbulentDan12]

Ok in that case you should test her a bit more just to make sure she is interested and stops being hot and cold because she seems to be playing it farther than just being from insecurity. I was in a similar situation, but as soon as I made more effort she seemed to cut out the hot/cold crap because she wasn't insecure around me anymore. This time make sure she makes the time or at least confirms the date well ahead of time. If she continues to make excuses, then its on to girl B imo

[loopylooper]

I agree with your way of thinking...girl A has done that a couple of times back (i.e. stating interest but then never shows up again)...

In that cse I think I will drop the games and ask her directly how she feels about me? but what if I send a text asking her how she feels or I will move on, then she replies she is interested but then she never confirms a solid date...what should I do in that case? I have a feeling that she is doing this to keep her options open, and she has a number of guys in her hand to choose from...

[TurbulentDan12]

Tell her that last time you picking the date didn't work, so she should pick it this time. If she says she doesn't want to pick the date, I don't think she's really that interested. Do you agree?

[loopylooper]

My logical mind definitely agrees with that ... if I can just put away my emotions...