Feel like I have nothing to say over text/phone (when initiating).

I've been texting a girl I met on an online dating site for almost 2 weeks. I took the plunge and called her for the first time today. I won't lie, it was rather awkward due to both my dislike for talking on the phone and nerves, the silences and her sounding uninterested ( could just be how she talks, was the first time hearing her voice ). It was quick and when I got home I messaged her saying I was sorry about it being awkward, she said it was fine and not be to nervous.

Now, this got me realizing that when I initiate the conversation I never really have anything to say, other then the typical "how are you" "what are you up to" etc, but when she starts the conversation it goes great and it feels very natural.

I like her and feel we have a connection, but it bugs me that I don't have much to say. I don't know if it's nerves or I'm just a boring person... and because of this I feel I might be killing the "spark". I'd really hate for this to end before we got the chance to meet in person and really had a chance to gauge each other.

Any thoughts, ideas, tips? Thanks.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Come up with something to say before you dial her number. Did something funny happen at work today? Did you read something interesting Ina magazine or online? It doesn have to be anything grand and exciting, just a talking point. Chances are, she will have an opinion or a similar story, and things can flow from there. And don't feel obligated to talk for hours. I can't stand being on the phone for more than a few minutes, even with my best friends. It means a lot to a girl that you are thinking of her enough to call her, even if it's just a quick hello.

    • That would feel just as awkward to me, when would I know it's a good stopping point?

    • When you stop enjoying the conversation. I'm not saying you should bail at the first lull in the conversation, but you should stop before talking to her feels more like a chore than something you look forward to.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I'm just like that- only I'm a girl. I wouldn't worry too much about it, since if she knows that you're a cool guy it wouldn't affect much. I'd say that it's a good idea to work on talking skills though. :)

    • If it's lack of talking skills, why am I perfectly fine talking to people in person? That's what really gets me lol

    • For me, I can talk to the person when they start a conversation or when it's face to face, but I can't initaite otherwise because it's sort of the fear that they won't care what I have to say. Even though I'd be asking a question (usually), it freaks me out. But, you should try and get over it- otherwise you'll stay stuck in that habit.

    • Yeah you're right. I still got things to work on, just recently came out of my shell and feel comfortable talking to people.

  • Talk about things you know she might like or things seen National tv. Tv shows Which usually leds to a tangent. Ex. Katy perry divorce. things you are interested in too. Helps you get to her better and you can see your similarites and differences.Can talk about anything really. Random questions are good.

    • Maybe it's my inexperience with trying to lead a conversation, but that sounds easier said then done. It's worth a shot though.

    • I'm like you have nothing to say,just want to see how he is doing etc. In the beginning that's what I've done. It works for a while. I've been talking to a guy online through text/chat one 1/2 years. Now its getting really hard at this point for me lol

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