25 years old... never had a boyfriend!

Yes, I've never been with a boy,

never had sex (or made love),

never actually shared a bed with a boy,

and never even spent a Valentine's day with a boy!

Yup, that's where it's at.

I have an otherwise normal life.

I have friends, a job, I got a degree,

there's nothing wrong with my physical appearance

and I'm well - groomed.

I can't flirt, not even when the guy initiates it,

sometimes I don't even notice when a guy hits on me

(my friends have to point it out to me!).

I feel so dysfunctional and different to all the other girls my age

that I don't think I'll ever be able to find myself a boyfriend

because I'm just so inexperienced and clueless.

What do you think of the situation?

And how do I improve things?

thank you for all your answers guys and girls!

I actually can't help but realize that in my case it's not really a question of having no social skills or no social life (because I have both). I'm fairly private as a person but I can have conversations with people and most find me quite a pleasant person, or so I've been told. Yet, when it comes to guys, I genuinely can't seem to bring myself to go further than a friendly convo or a few laughs and a beer.
Whenever I went on dates I struggled to believe the guy liked me and I kept questioning his "real motives" for taking me out. If someone expresses interest in me then I just label them as either a loser or a pervert who's desperate for sex, that's why I got approached. I also can't imagine getting physically intimate with a boy, can't see how he'd want to touch, rub, or lick private parts of my body without feeling grossed out.

I think I'm in a messed-up place when it comes to relationships!


Most Helpful Guy

  • My situation was pretty much the same as yours until about two years ago. For some reason I was a late bloomer. I didn't really even seriously try to pursue women up until that point. So yes there were some embarrassing moments and I had some catching up to do with people in my age group, and still do to some extent. You seem to have your life together otherwise which is a good thing. Now try to apply the effort and discipline that got you your degree and job to becoming more comfortable in social situations, which at the end of the day can really only happen through trial and error.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 7

  • It took me a while to distinguish casual talk from flirting when it came to chatting with girls.

    It takes body language reading skills that can predominantly be learned through the interaction with others. Observe how couples flirt and mingle. Look for signs of playful interactions. There's lots of dating videos online that will help.

    Playful teasing, prolonged eye contact, constant smiling, difference in voice tones, and things like that are signs that a guy is flirting with you.

  • i'm glad I'm not alone, if it makes you feel better, I'm 24, never had a girlfriend, never been in a relationship either

  • I can't really offer any advice only to say that I'm in the same situation with girls. Good luck to you anyway.

  • no comments?

  • i'm 23 and never had a girlfriend, I feel your pain

  • Sorry but I ain't buying it.

    • why would I make it up? what would I gain from it?

    • Sympathy unless you post a pic of yourself, I'm not buying it.

  • the only way possible is to go out and meet people

    if they interest you try to talk to them and get to know them better

    im in the same boat so I'm trying to go out and interact with more people and if they interest me which none have so far

    i might try and flirty with them though I'm sure it will be awful

    but doesn't hurt anyone and only helps me improve my ability to interact with others so why not


What Girls Said 1

  • i think a lot of people are in your situation. But if makes you feel bad then go out and date and see what's out there. I don't think you have to be able to flirt just be yourself and you will attract people.