Girls, if you don't hate or dislike a guy, why would you treat him differently than everybody else?

[Anonymous]

This girl does this to me and she just keeps telling me that its because its me. I can never get her to just be that friendly and bubbly girl she is with everybody else, I get the somewhat difficult and sarcastic girl. I ask her if I should leave her alone, she tells me she never said that and that she still wants to talk to me but when I do talk, she gets all weird, distant and puts a bunch of obstacles and when I see how everybody else talks to her so easily and she doesn't dissect every single sentence they tell them (like she does with me) makes me wonder what I'm doing wrong, any help?

[BarbaraP]

That has happened to me and you might not like it, but it was because I just didn't like the guy. I saw him as very immature and couldn't be myself around him.

It might also be that she feels differently around you because she likes you. She might act like this with guys she's interested in and turn out to be kind of weird, who knows?

You could try and ask some of her friends you're comfortable with if they can tell you how she usually acts around guys she likes, or if it's normal for her to act like that and in which situations she does it.

[Asker]

Well I'm here for advice, whether or not I like the answer is different, I just want to know what should I do. She acts like she doesn't like me so I could very well go with that but there are things that tells me that is not the case. First of all she talks to me and tries to get my attention, a lot and some people might say that any kind of attention is good. I can be talking to my friends or whatever and she will start getting all sarcastic and being a smartass towards me,looking for a response

[BarbaraP]

Sounds like she kind of likes challenging you. Instinctively, I'd say she likes you. If I was you I'd "play the game" and see where it goes. Be sarcastic too, challenge her back, tease her and see if the response is positive. :)

[Asker]

I do and its always positive, positive being she keeps playing along and we will invest hours just talking sarcastically and giving each other a hard time. I just find it odd that while she puts up all these obstacles when I talk to her, she is very easy to talk to but when the person isn't me. I always see her making fun of me and stuff and having this smirk on her face and when I playfully tell her she is so mean and my heart is broken, she just tells me "you'll be alright, you are a big boy"

[BarbaraP]

And you still have doubts? She definitely likes you! She just shows it in her own way, that's all. Go for it. You could ask her out in the middle of the game, surprising her... Of course, it's up to you. But I wouldn't be worried about this situation, it's pretty clear to me that she's interested.

[Asker]

Could you give me any extra advice on how to lower her walls a little bit more and maybe a little faster? I love our interactions and her sense of humor, I love when she teases me and argues with me because she is really smart and she has always been there for me when I needed advice and somebody to talk to. recently I had kind of a bad streak and she was there and listened to me and I could see she truly is a nice gir and cares for me, but doesn't want to "show" me all the time.

[BarbaraP]

Well, you have to be careful not to reduce your interactions to just that, of course, otherwise it could never work out. But know that some girls are just like that, maybe she doesn't like being sweet or romantic and doesn't show that part of her first, but as an exception, you know? Have you ever tried to be sweet with her? Like complimenting her? How does she react? Honestly, I don't think it's something you can do fast.

[Asker]

Im trying not to do it, but it usually comes up to that because that's the only way I can get her to relax and talk to me without her quietness getting in the way. Like I said, she is very and and can be sweet to people (her friends) and compliments them all the time but with me she tells me I got a big head and pat myself on the back. I've been sweet to her, I remember her birthdays and stuff and I've cooked her dinner when she was having a rough patch in her life but she still acts like this to me

[Asker]

I don't mind if she is like this, she has told me this is her personality when she is with family, she has told me how she jokes around with her dad and its basically the same thing, I just wish she would show me her sweet side once in a while. She does but, not as often as I would like or as often as she shows it to others, that's why I think she doesn't like me too much :/

[BarbaraP]

I think it's the opposite... really. I'm a little like her and I can relate to your situation. I know that when guys tell me about it, I just don't know what to do and it feels a little awkward after that. It's just me. I would totally avoid being too direct. Maybe a romantic movie will inspire her? Flowers? Something so sweet that she will feel the need to show you her romantic side.

[NoOneListens21]

Because certain people effect you in different ways. =P Is it that bothersome to you to stick around? are you guys friends? I mean I'm sure you don't act the same around everyone. Some people bring out different sides out in you more so than others. =) Maybe for better or worse. ^_^ hope it helps

[Asker]

No I don't act the same, but I usually keep a constant if I even talk to people (being friendly at approachable). SHe is not friendly (at least in the traditional way) and makes every interaction with me as difficult as it can possibly get. I know deep down she cares about me because she has helped me a lot and given me advice, but she still acts weird towards me. Are we friends? I think of her as my friend, but she tells me we are not but she is nice and friendly even with strangers.

[NoOneListens21]

maybe it's something about you that makes her feel or act that way...i mean I don't know the whole situation behind the two of you. she could like you =/