All else equal, is a girl who puts out more desirable?

Question

Assume Girl A & B are twins. They are both stunningly beautiful, not stupid, not bitchy, charming, flirty, fun, etc. They have both dated and had sex with one guy, and they were both madly in love, but now they're both over it. Now . . .

Girl A has since coped by not placing much weight on sex. She waited 3 months before having sex in an attempt to weed out guys who just wanted to get in her pants, but she saw how badly that failed. Now, if she's just not interested in a guy, she stops talking to him, and if he doesn't get the point, she spells it out clearly for him. Yet, if she's really interested in and attracted to a guy, she's not afraid to take things sexual if he feels ready and comfortable enough to go there too.

Girl B coped a little differently. After her ex broke her heart, and she got hurt, she realized that 3 months before sex is way too soon. Instead, she now has a firm one year rule. No sex until one year of dating. Even after one year has passed, unless she's convinced that the guy genuinely loves her, cares about her, want to eventually marry her, and would make a great husband and father, she won't feel comfortable or ready to have sex. Plus, sex has to be very special. She's always had a fantasy to have sex for the first time when its freshly snowing. The first snow to hit the ground would be symbolic of their first time being intimate, and it would be a moment they would both remember.

My question is two-fold, because I've been reading and hearing a lot lately from men:

1. Given the choice to start a relationship with both (as in, not just for the sex, but because you would want to be with the girl long-term, not necessarily till death do you part, but not some quick summer fling thing), which one would you prefer?

2. If you prefer one girl over the other (i.e., Girl A over Girl B, or Girl B over Girl A), is the girl you didn't pick pretty much out of the picture because you see her so negatively so as to render her undatable? (i.e., not worth the time or energy to deal with the issues she has with sex, or no way I would ever date someone who was so easy or would have sex so soon).

animalwithin · Accepted Answer

I don't like a girl who "puts out", period. Sex after two weeks of us dating isn't goig to happen because I don't want it to. I like to take things slow with a woman, 1.5-2 months of us dating and spending time with each other before we do anything sexual, just a rule that I have. This is coming from a guy who doesn't do one night stands, won't have sex with a girl unless I'm attracted to her on all levels, and I'm interested in a relationship, not a fling. Now, one year of her choosing to wait is definetely long, but if as you say she's my dream girl, I'll respect her decision and wait with her. Most guys would leave, but I'm not most guys.

All that said, it seems like the two girls you've given us clearly have issues they need to deal with and are misconstruing sex/relationships/dating and not handling things correctly. Girl A is extremely lax after being uptight, she went from one extreme to the next, and girl B is using an excuse of a time frame to dictate comfortability and sex in an effort to escape vulnerability and the possibility of getting hurt. By being closed to vulnerability, she may never be comfortable to have sex and get close to a man and/or the fear of getting hurt may always be stuck in the back of her mind. Apologies for the psychoanalysis lol.

systemsuck · Accepted Answer

If they were triplets I would go for Girl C. The innocent girl that has never fallen in love with a man before and would give herself to me completely as every girl does with her first love. Whether she wanted to wait 3, 9, 12 months or even until marriage, it wouldn't affect my decision. I wouldn't push sex onto our relationship. I like for her to completely and madly fall in love with me as I would do for her before taking things sexual. I would want for Girl C to trust me with her weaknesses and trust that I would never hurt her (not intentionally), I would want for her to know that no matter what happened she will always hold a special place in my heart and that I would do anything to keep us together <3 ___________________________________________________________

But to answer your question, I would pick Girl B, she is closer to what Girl C would be like (even alphabetically) . And I love symbolism if I was to meet a girl that thought that way I would undoubtedly fall in love with her. I would be her snowman :)

TheGodEmperorLeto · Answer

Girl B, no doubt. Imo people do rush way into it. 3 months is better than how fast many seem to be doing it, but even that's a bit too fast. I just wish they were smart enough to realize it's best to wait so they can see the guy's true intentions before they got hurt. There should be that trust and mutual love before such. But ya, if after one year a girl still didn't trust me, I'd probably be frustrated and if no progress was being made think about leaving. I wouldn't care about the sex, I'd care more about the trust issues.

taster · Answer

I voted "B"...your outline in no ways means that Girl B would not be fun...but there is this thing called "sexual compatibility"  and, if we would not make a good couple then I would like to fail quicker than one whole year of my life...but yeah...I like sex pretty quick and have always gotten that..I think no less of the girl if she has sex with me on our 2nd date..1st date is probably a little quick although when this has happened I knew the girl already.  Yes, Girl A would be my overwhelming preference ALL the time..oh..and just for the record...I am a relationship kind of guy...though I was no that way in my teens and early twenties..(:(:(:

JohnnySS · Answer

what your tlking about is attraction which is not based on what you "prefer". its based in the subconscious mind. one man may feel subconciously the longer he waits the more he wants her the other may feel the exact opposite.

or one may THINK that its too long or early and will not even try or may try.. it depends on the man disposition? personality. if he is willing to wait his attraction may rise or it may fall. if he's not willing to wait his attraction may immediatly fall. it depends its all relative to the type of man - how many real desireable women he feels he ca choose over the other etc.

it depends on his personality.

kheserthorpe · Answer

Picked choice A.

Girl B is undatable for a lot of guys, but beyond that I consider her not ready to get married. She still has the idea that love and sex are opposites. Waiting the year is not the big issue - its her permanently messed up view of how sex should be inside a relationship. I would not even -consider- having a relationship with her.

shacodraco · Answer

I think it would have to be somewhere in between.  If a girl wants to have sex on the first date then I would think she's probably not relationship material, but I would probably still stay and see how things unfold.  On the other hand if she has a strict one year rule I think that is way too formal, you shouldn't need rules like that, just have sex when you feel ready.  So I would probably go for girl A.  I think this answers both parts of your question.

Dylan1989 · Answer

I would pick girl B. I prefer to wait to have sex too, and even though one year is a long time I would be able to deal with it. It also helps me identify whether the girl wants something real like a long-term relationship or something casual. I don't really have that much of a high sex drive at the moment which helps me to be able to wait because I don't really want (or expect) sex with a girl that quickly if she wants something special.

MakeLoveNotWar · Answer

Girl 'B' definitely. I like the loyal, marriage material type (even though I don't wanna get married lol). But I wouldn't mind dating Girl 'A' so I voted 'C'.

Actually since I don't want to settle down yet, I'd probably date Girl 'A' and once that ends move on to Girl 'B'.

Martian · Answer

I picked D, but it's an overly aggressive answer. I wouldn't say that Girl A should burn in hell or that she is sinning. Still wouldn't want to date her though. I'd rather wait a long time than have girl that gives it out easily.

WeaponZero · Answer

The sex in and of itself is not the issue as I am asexual.  However girl B seems like she has a lot more baggage and that's a deal breaker for me.  I simply can't trust someone carrying that kind of baggage not to take it all out on me.

BravoHawk · Answer

If you want to be B  then you won't be happy being A .. and the more your A the less B guys will want you... If you in truth have only been with one guy.. then do B  you will not regret it!  that's the wise path.

dawnfang · Answer

I do not know. I know it's hypothetical but the idea of having a time limit on when in a relationship to have sex is dumb. When you are both ready and comfortable that should be when it happens.

Lj236 · Answer

i would want to date girl B. I would prefer to have a relationship and then have sex later on when we both like each other a lot.  I wouldn't mine going out with girl A but I wouldn't want to have sex quickly cause id rather wait

Konnour · Answer

One year 'til sex? In your dreams!  My choice is Girl A

All else equal, is a girl who puts out more desirable?

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