Girl A has since coped by not placing much weight on sex. She waited 3 months before having sex in an attempt to weed out guys who just wanted to get in her pants, but she saw how badly that failed. Now, if she's just not interested in a guy, she stops talking to him, and if he doesn't get the point, she spells it out clearly for him. Yet, if she's really interested in and attracted to a guy, she's not afraid to take things sexual if he feels ready and comfortable enough to go there too.
Girl B coped a little differently. After her ex broke her heart, and she got hurt, she realized that 3 months before sex is way too soon. Instead, she now has a firm one year rule. No sex until one year of dating. Even after one year has passed, unless she's convinced that the guy genuinely loves her, cares about her, want to eventually marry her, and would make a great husband and father, she won't feel comfortable or ready to have sex. Plus, sex has to be very special. She's always had a fantasy to have sex for the first time when its freshly snowing. The first snow to hit the ground would be symbolic of their first time being intimate, and it would be a moment they would both remember.
My question is two-fold, because I've been reading and hearing a lot lately from men:
1. Given the choice to start a relationship with both (as in, not just for the sex, but because you would want to be with the girl long-term, not necessarily till death do you part, but not some quick summer fling thing), which one would you prefer?
2. If you prefer one girl over the other (i.e., Girl A over Girl B, or Girl B over Girl A), is the girl you didn't pick pretty much out of the picture because you see her so negatively so as to render her undatable? (i.e., not worth the time or energy to deal with the issues she has with sex, or no way I would ever date someone who was so easy or would have sex so soon).
- Girl A all the way, Girl B has issues - I feel for the guy she ends up withVote A
- Girl A, if I had to pick just one, but I would date Girl B alsoVote B
- Girl B, if I had to pick just one, but I would date Girl A alsoVote C
- Girl B all the way, I hope Girl A burns in hell for all her sinsVote D
Most Helpful Guy
I don't like a girl who "puts out", period. Sex after two weeks of us dating isn't goig to happen because I don't want it to. I like to take things slow with a woman, 1.5-2 months of us dating and spending time with each other before we do anything sexual, just a rule that I have. This is coming from a guy who doesn't do one night stands, won't have sex with a girl unless I'm attracted to her on all levels, and I'm interested in a relationship, not a fling. Now, one year of her choosing to wait is definetely long, but if as you say she's my dream girl, I'll respect her decision and wait with her. Most guys would leave, but I'm not most guys.
All that said, it seems like the two girls you've given us clearly have issues they need to deal with and are misconstruing sex/relationships/dating and not handling things correctly. Girl A is extremely lax after being uptight, she went from one extreme to the next, and girl B is using an excuse of a time frame to dictate comfortability and sex in an effort to escape vulnerability and the possibility of getting hurt. By being closed to vulnerability, she may never be comfortable to have sex and get close to a man and/or the fear of getting hurt may always be stuck in the back of her mind. Apologies for the psychoanalysis lol.3THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE