I freaked him out. How can I fix this?

BACKGROUND: He's 24, I'm 21. We met online. We clicked right away. He works crazy hours (like 14 hour days, and several weeks out in the field doing data collection, and long work hours in the city doing analysis). He barely had time to see anyone but he said he still wanted to see me. We dated for 3 months. He had said that he didn't have time for a serious relationship and he felt like an a**hole when he couldn't spend as much time with me as I wanted, but he still wanted to see me when he was able to. I misconstrued this as him just wanting a casual relationship. I like him and I'm young so I was OK with this and I wanted him to know that. So the next few times we texted (he was away again for work) I was being really explicit. Then he stopped texting me. I asked him what was up and he said that I only wanted sex and to find someone else. I got really upset at this and I completely lost it. I have depression (he doesn't know) so from time to time I'll have episodes and his comment triggered one.

SO HERE'S THE PROBLEM: I called, texted, FB messaged him incessantly for a few hours while this episode lasted. He turned off his phone which gave me time to calm down. I decided I'd give him a LOT of space after what I did and not contact him for a few weeks but when I got home he had blocked me on FB. Based on his behavior before, I KNOW he had feelings for me and the chemistry I felt was reciprocated. How can I convince him to put this behind us?

Please answer the question. I don't want to hear "just move on".


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • not sure it sounds like you caused some damage by what happened and he was likely annoyed . it doesn't sound like you know each other very well . so its possible or likely he will simply move on . usually when someone blocks someone its a pretty clear signal they don't want to hear from them unfortuently .

    the reality was you had only meet online and didn't know each other that well to begin with , the most likely outcome is that you will each move on to meeting new people after this

    • Thanks for the insight. I've already considered this. I want to fix this. Do you have any advice for how I can do this?

    • not sure what there is to fix the problem is this wasn't that serious of a relationship sure you dated but not for very long and it doesn't sound like you saw much of each other . it also sounds like he isn't even that sure if he wants a relationship rate now . it also sounds like you haven't even had any contact at all with him in weeks if not months . I'd personally move on at this point

What Girls Said 1

  • Yeah, sorry, you can't fix this. The guy thinks you are insane and for good reason. You pretty much screwed this up on a cosmic level. The best and only thing you can do is to seriously just move on and have better self-control next time.