FWB ended but then he showed up at my door. What do I do?

[Anonymous]

Ok so last spring me and this guy were talking/kind of dating but it was super casual. It ended because he was going to be gone all summer and I was studying abroad in the fall so it just wouldn't make sense. When I got back to school in January he started texting me periodically and we sort of started a friends with benefits kind of relationship. After a few times he started wanting to spend the night which I thought was a bit surprising and then one night he didn't want to. I realized that it bothered me that he didn't want to so I ended it right there because I could tell I was starting to get attached.

So he was okay with it and it was done. But then we both would text each other periodically to hook up even though it was over but for some reason or another we wouldn't. So two weeks ago I just got really sick of dealing with him, he can be incredibly childish so I was like don't talk to me and I deleted him off Facebook so I wouldn't have to see his stuff pop up. Then a week later he texted me like begging me to come over and I probably would have just because I also wanted to but then he started being a jerk so I refused. He had a little bit of a temper tantrum and told me to never talk to him again and delete his number from my phone and all this just because I wouldn't come. So I was like fine, whatever, and so a week went by and we didn't talk and I was fine with that. Then yesterday I woke up and got on FB and I had a message from him that was like "please open the door" and then I scrolled up and he had sent me like 10 messages begging me to let him in. So he actually showed up to my house and based on the timestamps, for a good 20 minutes just begging me via FB to let him in between 240 and 3am.

I was really angry and messaged him back wanting to know why he came to my house.

Of course he didn't respond and so I texted him and was like we need to talk about that. He basically acted like it wasn't a big deal and didn't even feel the need to justify his actions. He then turned it on me as if I was the crazy one and told me to never contact him again and that he would never show up at my door again...

I just don't know what to do because I haven't contacted him and yet he throws these little temper tantrums and says for me to never talk to him again but then he'll text me or show up at my door but then like I'm not allowed to contact him...I just don't know what to do, it's like I'm powerless.

Updates

+1 y

If a guy could just explain to me what is going through his head that would be much appreciated. Like does he still have feelings for me, I'm just so shocked by how he's been acting.

[Anonymous]

I think you're doing an excellent job of keeping your boundries with this guy. Sounds like you have it together. I would just ignore him like you have been doing. I'm sorry but showing up at your door at 2 am is totally disrespectful. Either he was drunk or looking for sex. Almost guarantee it. So keep up the good work and don't let him beat you down.

[sockz]

Ignore him. FWBs don't normally act like this. If you reward this behavior with attention of any kind, then he'll keep doing it. Message him and tell him you're glad that you both had a good time while I lasted and you wish him well in the future, but you're not interested anymore.

[Stacyzee]

Apparently he has feelings for you which is why he doesn't know how to act.

I'm sure he doesn't make it a hobby doing that to every girl.

[Anonymous]

I think he loves you tbh

[Asker]

I just wish he could grow up and talk to me

[Opinion Owner]

He is frustrated. Try a little patience and tell him you would really appreciate him being more hmmm calm about everything. Try to use words to express yourself without setting him off on a tangent or anything stupid. It seems he has other good enough qualities to make you want to stick it out with him.

[Asker]

How do I approach it?

[Opinion Owner]

Well you obviously NEVER want to be with anyone that you need to walk on eggshells. You of course want to be yourself but you also want to give him a chance. Like I suggested tell him you need him to be calm and you shall be calm as well. Younger guys take a while to mature so it really is just the way things are. Stay calm and be positive and he will feed off of that. Remember life is short...too short to worry about who is right and who is wrong. Life is there one time for you and him so see

[Opinion Owner]

what you two can do for each other.