Will dating someone with a very ghetto/dysfunctional family be a deal breaker for you?

[Anonymous]

I have recently began dating this individual who I have known since elementary school. He lives in my neighborhood so I have seen some of the dysfunction from his family for myself. His family consist of thugs, brothers who sell and smoke drugs with multiple kids, women in the family with multiple kids and nothing else to show for their lives and constant fighting and arguing among themselves. I was reluctant to even hold a conversation with him because from what I have seen happening at his house from my front yard. I took the time out to actually have a conversation with him and to get to know him just to find out that he is actually a good person who does not engage in the same activity that his family does. He is trying to better himself but me just knowing how dysfunctional his family is really is bothering me and I do not want to judge him based on their actions which is clearly something he can't change. Now I understand that every family has their share of dysfunction but I come from a family with a strong church background and we are all very close and I am just not use to the dysfunction. He is very serious about me and I like him as well but I know I just can't put up with his family. Will I be wrong to break it off just for that reason.

[Tamikaze]

If you cannot put up with his family, you should really reconsider seeing him.

We come as a package deal with our families and unless he is going to move away from them and never see them, they will be a part of his life, and a part of yours, in some way. He could end up being the one who rescues all the dysfunctional people in his family considering he sounds more likely to be able to AND that is what a caring a nice person would probably want to do for their family.

Personally, my ex husband is a sweet heart that I love dearly, but he struggles to break away from a lifestyle that they all embrace in some way. Many members of his family are alcoholics and it is like a badge of honor to drink yourself to passing out, even when you are 60 years old. The men in his family are all cheaters and he has done the same. They also are all about earning money, so you can drive a certain car or wear certain clothes, but then have no time for your kids or your wife. He wants to be different, he wants to change, but really he gets little support from the people he is closest to because of their shared beliefs. It's hard to truly break away. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

i wouldn't go out with a guy like that. I wouldn't want to ge tin all those problems and danger.

[Anonymous]

i don't think so, as long as the person does not share their bad attitudes

[McKellar]

Well I don't know this guy at all, but I do come from the same background as he does. My thoughts on this is if his family is like this,... that's not his fault. I'm sure you didn't say nor think that way at all, but I'm just stating that.

There is a large dysfunctional none-sense on my mother's side of the family. If anything, it's gotten real bad to the point where I had to unfortunately disconnect my ties/connections from them. I didn't want to, but it's not like I had other alternatives to solve this issue.

I'm still connected with my father's side of the family, but not my mother's anymore.

If this guy wants to get ahead in life & better himself & improve his life conditions, I think that's something great right there. Having said that, he also could use some support in his life decisions. I know he won't get any great optimistic support from his family. That's just not gonna happen.

If being with you is 1 of his desires & wants nothing at all to do with the family dysfunctional system,... well let's just say that doesn't sound like a reason to break it off from the guy,... or not get romantically involved with him.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's wrong to break up with him for that reason, especially if you have an inkling that he is involved with it too. Close family and friends can pressure him to do those things.

As for me, I don't know if I would disregard them unless they were involved, and I wouldn't want any prolonged interaction with their family. I can't really speak on it accurately because I haven't been in that situation.

[1-3-2-4]

I would not put up with that.. I've had my fair share of seeing this and I just moved on, not something I wanted to deal with.

[SuccessfulHornDog]

I wouldn't want to marry into a family like that and expose our children to bad influences

[Anonymous]

i wouldn't date a girl likr that