I'll call you tomorrow....or the next day....

[Anonymous]

This is what my guy says when ever I get off the phone with him. For instance, we were on the phone last night and are planning to do something this Saturday and he ended the call with "I'll call you tomorrow...or the next day..." Why can't he give me a definitive date? He does eventually call, but I just think it's weird that he does this. Also, when ever I stay over or vice versa, the next morning, he always says "I'll call you later"...and I hear from him usually a day or two later...is this normal? I don't mind...it's not like I wait around for his call...I do have a life...just curious I suppose.

[tyrantfuryre]

For the most part it sounds pretty normal. The only thing I think is a little odd is that he's saying to you a head of time "...or the next day". Reason I say this is because he either has something going on the next day or he doesn't. Now if he doesn't, obviously something could come up and he could end up being busy. On the other hand by him saying tomorrow or the next day, he may in fact being telling you this to be polite and keep you from wondering why he didn't call if he told you he was going to call for sure the next day. BUT in my opinion, NO ONE is soooo busy, that they can't take 5 minutes out to call and ask or see how your day has been or is going. Period. Have you asked or talked to him about it?

[Asker]

Yes, I think it's odd, too, which is why I posed this question here. A week ago, I saw him over the weekend and left his place Sunday morning. He told me that morning, I'll call you later in the week. He ended up calling me on Friday night. I asked him what he was up to all week and he said just working and the gym...I was suspicious of this, but I did not say anything. I don't want to come across as insecure and I don't want to nag.

[tyrantfuryre]

The fact that it took him about 5 days to get a hold of you is a little odd. Anything after 3 days at most would even make me wonder if I were in your situation. Then again, I'm more of a straight forward kind of guy. It sounds a little weird to me that during that whole week he was only working and going to the gym yet didn't have time to contact you. Maybe he's just playing it cool and not wanting to come on as too strong or desperate. Why didn't you try contacting him around say Wednesday?

[Asker]

Well, because he said he would call, and I normally don't call him. Also, just a little info, I had broken up with him and we just had gotten back together that weekend....so maybe he did need some time to think and play it cool.

[tyrantfuryre]

Oh, well if that's the case I would say he's most likely taking his time and playing it cool. Btw, just because he says he's gonna call doesn't mean everything. If he says he's gonna call in a day or 2 and doesn't call for say over 3 days..I personally see nothing wrong with calling him at the end of the 3rd day or beginning of the 4th just to say hi and see how he's been. That's just me.

[Agsded]

that sounds normal to me. Some people have different levels of clingy-ness. Guys especially don't want to play social games...they want to be there talking to you in person rather than over the phone/text. He may also want you to not think he is being smothering.

You can try calling him more often and see if he does the same. It is possible as with any scenario that he's not really that into you...only you could say...

But respect that he could just be acting like a guy and/or trying not to smother you. The further your relationship progresses, he should be trying to spend more time with you in person though.

[Asker]

I have been seeing him for about 7 months now. First time this weekend that I'm seeing him more than once a week. I saw him Tuesday night and now we are planning on seeing each other Saturday night. We are going to an event with one of his married friends & his friend's family.

[Agsded]

Hmm yeah that is a while. Do you guys do a lot of casual hanging out...like staying in to watch a movie or to hang with friends? If you guys are just dating and sleeping, sounds like you guys just need to get comfortable with just hanging out...if ya want more time with him anyway. Less phone time and more personal time I always say ;-)

[Asker]

We do hang out a lot. Not sure what you mean by casual hanging out. He takes me out to dinners, movies, drinks, etc. I would like to see more of him, but we live far from one another (45 minutes away). So, we usually stay over one another's place.

[Agsded]

Yeah sounds like you guys are still in the dating routine. 45 minutes isn't that far away at all...maybe not an everyday thing but there is still room to hang out at least a couple times a week in addition to what you are already doing. If ya take turns driving to each other's place that's only 1 extra trip a week. Just stay in a watch tv/movies or hang with other friends. Think of it this way; you are in a professional routine. Be comfortable in everyday life and social contact should increase.