How soon is TOO soon to kiss a guy?

Ok. I'm going out with a guy (he's 16 and I'm 15). We go tithe same music school and I've seen him at recitals since December, he said hi but I was too nervous to talk. We started actually having conversations in mid-April and now we're ALMOST boyfriend/girlfriend (I told him I wanted to go on more dates before we start introducing us as that and he was ok with it.) I REALLY want to kiss him. I've never kissed a guy before. Is it too soon? We only started hanging out about 3 weeks ago but we've been "friends" since May. Idk. I feel like I know him pretty well but how soon is TOO soon to kiss someone after going out with them? Is there a time limit or is it just whenever you both feel like it?

Oh, the primary reason I want to kiss him is not because I haven't done it before. The reason is, when I look in his eyes, I see understanding, kindness and sincerity. I just want to be closer to that and show my affection for him.
And the reason I asked the q is because I have a friend that kissed a guy after 2 WEEKS of knowing him. Its now been a month and 1/2 and they've since engaged in sexual acts. I just don't want to end up like her, all rushed to get "somewhere."


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What Guys Said 2

  • "I just want to be closer to that and show my affecttion for him."

    There are many ways to show affection. With kissing, you are taking a friendship to a deeper level, turning it into an intimate relationship while sex being the epitome of an intimate relationship.

    "I see understanding, kindness and sincerity."

    That is the basis for a good friendship, other ingredients include similar personalities, interests, lifeviews, trust, ...etc. You cross the line only when you are not satisfied with just being friends. And you have to ask yourself why. 99% is Ms. Hormones.

    Once you cross the line, it is difficult to take it back to where it was before.

    "I just don't want to end up like her, all rushed to get 'somewhere'."

    Wise. The 'rush' is an ego thing. Anyway, what's so proud of "getting there" -- an orgasm ?" What does it proof ? Cavemen/women knew how to get "there", or else human beings would be extinct ages ago, and virtually all other animals on this planet knows how to do it. To me, this is meaningless competition. I don't remember seeing a Nobel prize for "Winner of Losing one's virginity --- the youngest person award. :) Don't fall for mass consciousness, or for some guys' manipulation. :)

  • "I REALLY want to kiss him. I've never kissed a guy before. Is it too soon?"

    You probably find him attractive in some ways, but if the primary reason you want to kiss a guy is because you've never done it before, it doesn't sound like a good enough act to initiate a great relationship.

    At your age, the sex hormone is boiling and it is understandable that you are pushed to try intimate acts, which ultimately leads to sex. There is nothing wrong with all these, human beings would be extinct without the sex urge a long time ago.

    Bear in mind, however, that these urges don't care whether you are emotionally or intellectually ready (i.e. mature enough) to enter an intimate relationship. All they want out of you is to add more headcounts to the 6-7 billion human population on this planet.

    Why not save those special moments for someone who you have gotten to know fairly well, that is compatible to you in various areas of life, such as personalities, interests, backgrounds, purposes of life, ...etc. You have the next 50-60 years of your life to engage in all kinds intimate acts, as frequently as you want. The real question is not whether you can or cannot (you can, of course), or when, it is "With WHO ?"

    Ask yourself, "What kind of guy do I want ?" If you don't know, then set the intention, "I want to know what kind of guy I want". Great relationships start with knowing what you want. Traumatic relationships start off with "blind driving", like driving with your eyes closed, and saying, "I am happy to end up any place". As ridiculous as it is, it is not uncommon. Ask people you know, "What kind of guy/girl do you want ?" And see how many give you a blank look, and how many can give you their answer, clearly and without hesitation ? :)


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