Ever since I was young, I just didn't have a relationship with 3 out of my four grandparents. The 1 grandparent I do have a relationship with, I call Paké. He is my dad's dad. Which is Frisian-Dutch meaning grandpa. He brags about me and my siblings every time we make the slightest accomplishment, he never forgets birthdays, and he always pays for dinner every time we go out to eat. He wasn't always this way. He used to be an alcoholic.
As for my other grandparents, I would have a relationship with my mom's dad if he was alive. According to my parents, he lived an exciting life and loved a good adrenaline rush. He got cancer when he was young and died.
As for both my grandmother's, they are both hateful people. But for separate reasons. My dad's mom, basically disowned me and my siblings as her grandchildren. To be more specific, she never saw me and my siblings as her grandkids. But she has grandkids from other marriages, and she sees them as her grandchildren. In addition, she is just a bad person. I met her once by accident. I was 7 and was with my dad and we ran into her at the bank. Her and my dad had an awkward small talk conversation but she said hi to me and even knew my name. 11 years later, I went to her funeral. That was it. My parents rarely talk about her and when they do, it's not good memories about her. Probably because she doesn't have any.
As for my mom's mom, she is hateful and crazy. She used to abuse my mom and her my aunts. My mom was born in Southern California but grew up in Mexico. When my mom was growing up, they were dirt poor. Like so poor, that a "bath" was considered sitting in a large metal bowl and a family member poured water over you and that was it. My mom's family moved because a man chased her and aunts when they walking home from school, and tried to inject milk directly in their veins. Yes, apparently if you get milk directly in your bloodstream it kills you. So, they moved. My grandmother always references this and uses it for her argument when she wants to convince my mom that she cares about her. If you ask me, relocating your family because someone tried to kill them, is a shitty standard to have. Any halfway decent person would do that.
She is still alive and regularly writes my mom poison pen letters. She tried to convince my mom that she has cancer when we all know that she doesn't, but when my aunt actually had cancer, she never came to see her. The last time I saw her was about a year ago but I didn't know it was her at the time. Every couple of years, she randomly drops by the house. When she came by I didn't recognize her or her car, so I assumed it was a door to door salesperson. I didn't feel like socializing so I didn't answer the door. She knocked multiple times and even knocked on the door of my dad's blacksmithing shop. Again, I didn't know she was my grandmother. I just thought she was a persistent salesperson. So, basically I saved my family from my grandmother crashing whatever event was going on, because I was being my antisocial self. Before this, I last saw her when I was 13. She crashed my parents Christmas party.
Now that you know the back story, let me go into why I can't work at a Nursing home. During my clinical rotation at the hospital, a CNA asked me if I was applying for jobs and where. I told her I applied to 2 hospitals and a Nursing home. But I told her that the Nursing home was my last option but I didn't say why. She told me I should work at the Nursing home because at the Nursing home, you see the worst of the worst. She went on to say that if I worked there for 6 months to gain experience, and then come work at the hospital, nothing seems bad, because I theoretically have seen worse at the Nursing home. I didn't give my real reason why the Nursing home was a last option but I'll go into that in a minute.
I have a dark sense of humor, so when I feel uncomfortable I joke about things no one should laugh at. The people who work at this Nursing home are known for being crabby, stressed, and hating their jobs. For example, when I told a Nurse that a resident needed her brief changed she said she'll get to it, when she gets to it and then went out for a smoke break. Back to the subject, I joked about it and said by the time I get a job at the hospital, I might come out bitchy and hating my job like them. Which was good I said that, it changed the subject. After that another CNA said, "that's true. They are known for being stressed and crabby."
If it wasn't already obvious, I don't have a relationship with most of my grandparents and I'm jealous of those that do have a relationship with their grandparents. People who say that children take care of and visit their parents when they get old is a bold-faced liar or stuck in fantasy land. Depression and loneliness is common for residents. For some residents, the CNA who goes in their room and takes their vitals and gives them their food is the only person they talk to all day. There's lots of reasons for this. For some people, they work too much and can't visit their parents. Others just don't want to.
Death happens all the time at Nursing homes. If a resident I was close to dies, it will be very difficult for me. Emotionally speaking. For some people when they lose a favorite patient, it's like losing a friend. But because I had strained relationships with my grandparents, I was always looking for replacements. And for me, losing a favorite patient would be like losing a loving grandparent.
I know people die all the time at hospitals. During my clinical rotation, there was a patient that was so close to death, you could hear what is called "The Death Rattle." It's a sound coming from the chest. Your body makes that sound when you're very, very close to death. It sounds like an actual baby's rattle. Another patient was close to death but his family refused to make him a DNR patient. (DNR means do not resuscitate)
I would rather work at a hospital because I noticed a drastic difference at the hospital. I don't think I saw a single lonely patient at the hospital. All of them were in good moods or their family was visiting. Compared to the Nursing home, where their family rarely visits and they need someone to talk to. What happens is that I feel bad that they feel lonely, I talk to them, we connect, and when they die, it feels like knives in my stomach. I actually talked to my dad about this. He said he would be more upset about the death of a baby or a young person, rather than an old person. Maybe I'm weird but I would be more upset about the death of an old person. I love old people. They lived lives that I've only dreamed and read about, I love that.