I'm certainly no genius, but growing up, I knew I was "the smart girl." I remember entering my first grade year and having to take this test to determine whether or not I should be transferred to advanced classes, and sure enough, I was. I took some regular courses with my other classmates, but for three classes a day, they would literally come and get you and take you to the computer lab (this was the 80s). It's so funny now because it was the only room filled with computers, which they only allowed honors students to access. We were taught to type, we took some computer skills courses, we took advanced Math and Science, and sometimes we went on special field trips to museums and such.
That moment when they would come and get us each day, made us seem so different and alien to everyone else. It said to everyone, "these are the other kids." They get something you don't. The school wasn't shy about who we were either parading our brains around at whatever school event was happening, but other boys and girls alike always made us feel bad about ourselves and made fun of us for going to classes we didn't choose to go to in the first place, and for just being smart. The trend continued into my third grade year, where again I had to take a test, this time to see if I should be transferred to the gifted and talented school. I got in, but I refused to go on account of not wanting to leave my friends. This became the recurring theme too. In 6th grade, another exam for honors courses, and in high school, I had to test into this exclusive school which I got in.
It was often hard being a nerd, or smart, or whatever adjective people lobbed at it, especially being "the smart girl." When you do well in English or Art, everyone expects that, but when you do well in Math and Science, you are often made out to be some kind of freak, or more often than not, people just don't encourage it or you enough. After my 6th grade year, yes, I was transferred again to the next best school, and it was there that I met with an amazing woman who was to be my Science teacher. It was a first for me. I'd never had a female teacher in Science before. It was really the first time that raising my hand in those types of classes was really encouraged. She really pushed and pushed for me to do more with my gifts, to be more, and to go as far as I could and beyond in her class. She was a major part in why I chose to go to such an advanced high school in the first place.
Young girls are often discouraged from being seen as "the smart girl," or wanting to be a Physicist, or the Surgeon, or the Architect. I think as women we need to encourage not only ourselves, but our young daughters, or young women and girls in particular, to keep pushing the boundaries and opening the doors for other women to walk through. I was the kid with the microscope and if my dad had said, no, play with dolls because you're a girl or both my parents hadn't continued to encourage and not silence my talents, my life might have been a lot different in a negative way. So I would encourage you to really encourage other women and girls in Math, Science, and Sports, all of which we often tend to be discouraged from pursuing.
What Girls Said
"Young girls are often discouraged from being seen as 'the smart girl,' or wanting to be a Physicist, or the Surgeon, or the Architect."
Where? Who is doing this? I don't hear anyone saying those things or discouraging women from getting into any of those fields.
If you want to do one of those things, just do it!
You have only to read a few of the biographies of some fairly accomplished women in these fields to know that there are a lot of women being discouraged in their fields of choice. I know it's hard for you to perhaps imagine it, but just because you personally don't hear it, it doesn't mean it isn't happening. I do however agree, that if you want to do it, go for it, and don't let anyone stop you.
''Young girls are often discouraged from being seen as "the smart girl," or wanting to be a Physicist, or the Surgeon, or the Architect.''
And so are young boys. Prove otherwise.
If you are referring to being a "smart boy," in the areas of Math and Science, I'm not a boy, so you'd have to ask them how they feel about it and what their personal experiences are, but from my experience, which is what this is largely written from, the statement is true for young girls and women going into or wanting to go into STEM fields.
And I don't believe you. I have gone through the exact same western education system you have, gone through the same types of schools and universities that you have, and I have never seen this happen exclusively to girls nor had it happen to me or my female friends.
What I HAVE seen are bullies picking on both sexes because being smart is not cool, and I have seen a-hole teachers putting kids of both sexes down because they are a-holes.
I am glad that your story has been your experience. It has not been mine and despite what you say, you have not lived my life. You don't even know my name, or where I live, so what same schools and such have we gone to? What same teachers have we gone through? What women have I hung out with that you and I both know? I'm relaying my own experience here and if you're trying to turn this into a man hate thing, it's not that either. The take away message is continue to encourage girls and women in STEM and encourage yourself if that is your desire to do these things. This isn't malicious or hateful or meant to suggest anything to you about your own personal experience, but don't turn around and try to marginalize mine or tell me what it's been like for me because you don't know my life or my experiences in school or what my friends have gone through.
OK, you make a fair point. I don't know you or your life so I will give you a fair shot to convince me.
Explain to me HOW other people have discouraged you over the years. Did the careers adviser and teachers point blank tell you not to join STEM? Were were bullied? Were doors shut to you that men walked freely through?
I'm sorry but just saying that you were ''discouraged from being the smart girl'' is pretty nebulous and doesn't actually explain much at all, particularly as you have failed to explain how boys are being encouraged to be smart at your expense.
Are you really honestly open to listen, because thus far, you've had some sort of really negative reaction to my own personal story about my own life and I don't want to waste time sharing if all you're going to do is tell me my story didn't happen the way it did. I mean, how would you feel is someone told you that about your own life?
Second thing---this is not about boy hating or man hating. You are pushing that idea. I simply cannot speak for men or boys because like I said, I am not one, so if you think this is what I'm trying to push, I'm not.
Now if you are being honest with yourself here, do you want to hear what I have to say or are you looking for a fight or to tell me my story isn't true?
I absolutely want to hear. What you think is a negative reaction is in my opinion a combination of the fact that you weren't expecting to be challenged by a woman and due to my rather straight non-sugar coated style of questioning. And as an aside I don't ever recall claiming that you are man-hating - where you have got that from I don't know. But tbh I am sick of people saying that certain things only affect certain genders/sexes/races/creeds when they absolutely don't, especially when the only evidence that you have thus far given is woolly at best. And I have reached the point where I just can't help pointing it out.
I am open to hearing what exactly it is in concrete terms that has given you this opinion but I refuse not to assert counter questions to your answers based on what I see are potential holes. If that bothers you than perhaps your dissertation is not as solid as you like to think.
Once again, you are trying to tell me about me. You are welcome to an opinion or counter questions and what not to what I'm writing, but you are not entitled to tell me what I'm thinking, doing, or what has happened to me in my own life which are facts, not opinions. Now your opinion of the facts, is to be your own. Now I am currently writing to you, so be patient because comment section writing is limited space, so bare with me.
Fair enough.
I tried to inbox you, but I can't.
Ahh, just realized, it probably has to do with the Anon... anyway the whole thing is really long so I doubt you'll get the full scope, but I'm going to put one part in and I guess you can judge away...
Every year in Elementary we had these honors adjacent programs that teachers could specially pick certain students for that would allow them to do more advanced programming in the after school classes. We were told it was a limited program and that it was to be the best of the best. I attended school long before people grew ansty about student privacy, so grades were posted for everyone to see all the time, so you knew where you stood against the rest. Even knowing some of the girls including myself had some higher scores than some of the boys, the boys got picked over us. The program was literally 6 boys and one girl. It was a slap in the face. I even went so far as to approach my teacher and ask him why I didn't get in, and he said, I needed to work harder.. but if that were the case,
why would you choose, in this case, specifically boys with lower grades than I or my other two girl friends had? And his work harder analogy didn't make sense because we went to his additional tutoring sessions and our grades reflected our hard work. The one girl was like the affirmative action vote just so he could claim, it was "fair."
nice take
Thank you.