I'm 16 and my parents never taught me how to drive or let me get a job?

[Anonymous]

I'm kind of embarrassed because everyone at my school has driven a car before or they have a job. My parents never let me drive and my dad always is lying to me. He always says that he will let me get a job, he said that he would when I was 15 but it never happened because he made up so many excuses like "you didn't have good enough grades." or "we have no way to take you." They always are lying saying they will let me have more responsibilities but they don't ever go through with it but they get mad if I sleep all day. I don't get it...

[Snow-Girl36]

Your parents sound like they do not want you to grow up, or venture out of the nest sorta speak. I have parents much alike to yours.
Unfortunately there's no way you can rely on them for those things. If you want to learn to drive, you're probably better to ask a cousin, aunt, uncle or a friend (even friends parents) to help teach you because your parents will probably end up coming up with some excuse as to why they don't want to. "I don't have time", "maybe another day we will go out", etc.

As for the job, if you want to work (this could benefit you as well, as it'll help you save for driving lessons / courses to further help you more). Just start applying to places of your interest. Being 16 and not having a job isn't the worst thing in the world, but making your own money and being independant is such a grand experience. It'll teach you financial control, how to manage your own money and allow you to be proud of accomplishing something.

If you're very concerned about your parents and what they will do / say, sit them down and have a serious talk with them. Let them know it's your life and your choices to make. Show them you are able to take a stand and address these issues you have with them, and be straight out.
My parents never helped me with any of those things either, but you get a better sense of yourself getting jobs on your own and not having to rely on them for everything anymore.

If they have a problem with it, try offering just getting a seasonal / summer job. This way you'll be out of school, have time to work and focus on making your money while the season is still around. Then when the fall hits and school returns you can leave and pickup something part time (like evening jobs)

I hope you're able to figure this out and settle things with them. They may be concerned about working and going though school, or maybe feel like you should enjoy your teen years outside of work, since working is what we do for the rest of our lives. Talk with your folks and find out these reasons, and let them know where you stand and how you're feeling. Let them know if you really want something you're going to achieve it with, or without their help.
Hopefully everything goes well!

[Asker]

See my parents like to get my hopes up. They always saying they don't trust me like I'm not allowed to do things normal teenagers do. They want me to stay home and clean their house all summer long. They want me to be more responsible but the choices that I make they say it's stupid but I'm not doing anything that's really bad. I don't understand why they can't understand I'm not a baby anymore.

[Iraqveteran666]

Responsibilities such as?
All you can do is try do as much as you can while under their roof and not be idle even if it means you have a lot of catching up to do when you turn 18

[Asker]

Responsibilities of learning how to keep up with my money and associate with different people and etc.. I'm just telling you that they say I need to be more responsible.

[Asker]

and by the way, what does be idle mean?

[Iraqveteran666]

It means work towards the future.

[Asker]

Okay well I guess I have no choice but to learn to drive on my own or get someone I trust to teach me.

[Iraqveteran666]

It's not just driving but anything and everything.

[Asker]

okay.

[Iraqveteran666]

Seriously build yourself up brick by brick, always working on yourself

[A-Clockwork-Orange]

I have started drive when i was 18 and i do good at it. You can have experiences anyway

[Asker]

Lol okay

[Anonymous]

You will be able to easily change that in a couple of years...

[Asker]

No. I want to experience now. Not exactly when I'm grown.

[Anonymous]

Can you arrange some driving lessons yourself?

[Asker]

How would I do that? Wouldn't that cost money because I don't have enough money to pay for lessons.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah it would. What about with a rello?

[Asker]

Rello?

[Opinion Owner]

Relative. Sorry, Aussie slang lol

[Asker]

Lol maybe I should ask but they probably will be thinking why my dad hasn't taught me and then my dad will be all like "nah it's okay. I'll teach her how to drive. You don't need to." He does this all the time like he doesn't wanna teach me but he will get irritated if I ask a family member, or do it by myself. It's really confusing to me..

[Opinion Owner]

He needs to let go of his little girl
I would just go and do it. Don't tell him

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe apply for a job

[Asker]

Lmao. I'll just do it. He doesn't let me talk to guys or date either. I know that this is irrelevant but he won't let me be in a relationship, or even hang around guys. I think he might think I'm a hoe because I snuck and got a boyfriend anyways. He got furious with me and he damn near beat me and has people monitoring me at school. He never lets me be around boys but he let my sister have plenty of guy friends. I'm his youngest daughter. That's probably why he won't let me get a job because he'll think I'll date while I'm at work.

[Opinion Owner]

Probably but he's a bit extreme. You're not a little girl anymore. Plus you need to get life skills for the future. That includes working and driving. He can't keep you wrapped up in cotton wool

[Asker]

Oh tell me about it. He wants me to be responsible but he can't even let me make simple decisions. He expects me to listen to everything be told and it makes me feel really miserable. I don't enjoy being a teenager..😞

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe have a one on one talk with him. Just quietly. Tell him how it's making you feel

[Asker]

I've already done this with him when I got in trouble for having a boyfriend.

[Opinion Owner]

What about your mum? Could she talk to him. He really needs to let go a little

[Asker]

Well my mom on the other hand, she wants me to go out and do these things that I'm telling you right now but she pretty much agrees with whatever my dad says. If I say "mom can I go visit a friend" she'll ask "who is your friend" I give her a name and she doesn't say yes or no. She's always telling me to ask my dad for everything like I can't never ask her something without her having my father's input.

[Asker]

And my dad is stubborn. He'll give my mom a convincingly reasons of why I don't deserve a job or deserve to spend the night over a friend's House and etc

[Opinion Owner]

But she might be able to convince him to let you do these things

[Opinion Owner]

lol I'll talk to him

[Opinion Owner]

lol nahh

[Asker]

Lol. I wish she would convince him but that's not gonna help me much considering the fact my mom believes whatever my dad tells her.

[Opinion Owner]

Hmm. Well I think the relative idea is the best way to get out onto the road. Just tell them your dad was busy but he's cool with you getting some lessons. And with a job... just apply. Then when you got it just say hey I got a job. I'm goin now. Byeeee. They can't stop you doing an honest days work 😌

[Asker]

Lol. I woulda been applied for a job but no transportation but I get everything you're saying. You don't need to explain any further. Thanks.

[Asker]

I wish it would work that easy to just say that but they'll get mad if I apply without permission.

[Opinion Owner]

That's right. Just do it! lol
Catch a bus, train, taxi, whatever it takes. Always a way. Get some $$$

[Asker]

Ooo I didn't think of those ideas. Thank you. I'll see if I can actually go through with this.

[Opinion Owner]

No worries. See! Always a way 😉

[Asker]

Yea, true that! 🙃