How to start conversations and make friends with strangers in my large company's cafeteria?

[Bethany22]

Is it okay to start conversations with people in my company's cafeteria who I've never interacted with before, in order to make more friends? What conversation ideas do you suggest? How do you gauge whether they just want to be left alone or want to talk?

[nolabels]

First, ask yourself if the cafeteria is where you want to begin to network.

Maybe it is, maybe it'd be a big mistake.

I'm not a corporate ladder climber and never was, but I'd think it'd be wise to ask yourself where you'd like to make your mark.

If you just want to make friends and have some social component to your work life, by all means do so. Take a look around you before a full tray is in hand, imagine where you'd like to be and go for it. Faking it until making it, though possibly being scary, is a big part of people's advancement in life, and is not morally wrong in and of itself.

If you're looking to climb ladders, that's a subject that has always been above my pay grade. I'm of no help to you there.

My son, now a CPA with a large international firm, has had the knack of networking socially and in a business sense since he was in 5th grade or so.

I have no idea how he does it. I chalk it up to his personality, vastly different from my own.

Jump in, sink or swim.

I wish you the best!

[Lliam]

I think the best conversation starter would be to ask what department they work in.

Ask what their job entails, how they got the job, if they grew up here, where they went to college. Any of those will spark a two way conversation. The two of you can talk about your jobs. You can share anecdotes about how you got hired. You can talk about where you grew up, your parents, siblings and spouses.

Once the conversation is going, you can take it anywhere. Show interest in listening to them and learning about them.

Say their name as you converse. People love to be recognized. Just knowing someone's name is a bond.

The main thing is to learn a bit about each other and establish a friendly rapport.

[SnowedIn]

Ask them what department they're with or what they do. Most people love to talk about themselves and work is generally a neutral topic. You'll swiftly gauge whether they want to talk -- if they don't the answers will be very short, one or two words, and there won't be much eye contact.

[Chris_675]

Sure, back when I used to drink I could start conversations with literally anybody.

My older brother and I used to get drunk while camping, and then go campsite to campsite talking to random people and we would have everyone knowing us by the end of the night. We even met people who were friends with some of our cousins and partied with them.

Sure some people wanted to be left alone, but whatever, on to the next ones.

[leonidas84]

It can be tough. Reading body language, commenting on something going on, or that they're doing. Then if they're receptive asking how it's been like at the firm.

[FunkyMonkee]

You just start talking to someone, "Lot of weather we're having, isn't it?", and, if they don't want to talk to you, they'll just ignore you or walk away.

[bowenw]

Start by asking if you can sit with them. Then ask them about their job and tell them your name. Hopefully they will ask you about your job and keep the conversation going.

[nawtee_me]

Talk about food, everyone has some opinion on food. If they won’t talk about food then they probably don’t want to talk.

what is your favorite food? Holidays are competing up. Have you thought about Thanksgiving?

[jcampbell115]

You don't start conversations with anyone here so I don't have much advice for you

[Avatar74]

Try to establish whether you have anything in common with them would be a good first step it has worked for me. If you have mutual interest it should be reasonably straight forward to talk to someone, unless they aren't pleasant of course and they really aren't worth your time in this case.

[Sixgunsound]

I don’t see why it wouldn’t be OK to talk to people, but I would make sure to stay away from politics, religion or relationships in the conversations.

[Andres77]

If there’s anything about their appearance that shows what they enjoy out of work. Then ask questions about that.

[alance99]

Yea you can start by having work convo with them

[pizzalovershouse]

Find out what things they like

[Guardian45]

Be openminded and make eye contact