How to talk to a stranger (guy) you’re attracted to in public e. g. cafeteria?

[Anonymous]

There is a guy at my university who is an athlete (basketball player). He’s very tall and good looking. I’ve never talked to him before but I find him very attractive. I see him in our university cafeteria sitting alone sometimes and I want to strike up a conversation with him. The thing is I have social anxiety and I’m afraid to approach him in case of a rejection. How do I start approaching/talking to him to become friends?

P. S. And I don’t want to bring race into this but I’m an Asian girl and he’s a white guy so I feel like I won’t stand a chance next to white girls. I feel like his type are white girls.

[Sarairocketship]

I think you should walk up to him or sit with and just say hello. You know and see where it goes from there. Eventually you can get to the fact that you think he's attractive. I know you said you're afraid of rejection. But if you never try, you'll never know. Trust me, the same thing happened to me in my first year of college. I had social anxiety too. I never talked to the guy. The first day, he caught my eye because I caught him looking at me. I looked at him and he didn't stop looking at me. But we never ever talked and when I did get the courage to ask one of his friends for his number, it was like 6 months later and it appears he wasn't the kind of guy I thought he was or he was trying to be mean. I just wish I hadn't wasted all that time.

[Asker]

Reading your comment made me feel like I was experiencing my own life. Thank you for the long reply and I hope everything worked out for you! I won’t even know what to talk about when I talk to him so do you have any pointers? I just don’t want to be humiliated in public because there will be a lot of people around and I will probably see him again and again…

[Sarairocketship]

You're welcome. Sometimes I write long replies and don't know if they're helping. So I'm glad that it was a help. Okay so, I would probably go up to him and ask him about what you know he likes... basketball. Or maybe you can compliment him if you've seen him play before. From there, I'm sure you can see what type of guy he is. If he's nice or if he doesn't really seem interested in the conversation. Some guys are immature or only like certain types of girls and it'll show. Maybe you don't have to tell him you think he's attractive because you'll already see what he thinks of you through his reaction. If he doesn't seem interested, then you might just want to leave him alone. Say 'anyway, just wanted to tell you that, have a nice day' and walk away. Or maybe you'll find that he becomes engaged in the conversation and you can go from there. If you ever think he's just being polite, then just be polite back and leave whenever you feel. The signs of knowing he might be interested is in how he looks at you. If he looks shy then that's probably a good sign. If he looks into your eyes when he's talking to you, that's probably a good sign too. If he's just talking like a robot, it could mean he's not very enthusiastic about the conversation or he's awkward. You're the only one who knows what this guy might be like. So take your observations into consideration. What you've seen about him before you've talked to him. Also, don't worry if you can't muster up the courage, I hope you do, but it happens. It really does. Some day the right guy might walk up to you. But that's not to say it can't work out here. I sincerely hope it does. 😄

[Asker]

Firstly, thank you so much for taking the time to type your long reply to help a girl out. I really, really appreciate it. You have helped me figure out what I should say or how I should interact with this person. You are one of the best advice giving people I’ve seen on this app… much love. ❤️

[Sarairocketship]

Awww. Thanks so much. I'm so happy to hear that 😊. I'm honored. I genuinely like to give good advice based off of what I think and know. I really do take my time to make quality replies and make sure everything I say is clear. Much love from me aswell ❤ and you don't know how much I hope this works out for you! You're strong no matter what.

[Vikkrram]

If you believe that eyes are window to the soul, then your eyes would have told him a lot. But if he won't notice you then It is impossible to get. Don't you give signs that you are attracted towards him like naturally when we are attracted towards someone we kinda behave all strange in front of them. And have you noticed him staring at you? Or anything like this?

[Asker]

I have not seen him staring at me but I think he definitely knows my existence and notices me around the cafeteria/school.

[Vikkrram]

Okk, so he might be knowing that you have kinda crush on him... so maybe you have to just initiate... and introduce to yourself. Like hi my name is... and i saw you playing basketball... and you really play good and so on... what you think of this?

[Asker]

Yess I should do that but I’m so shy to do in person…. do you recommend that I talk to him via Instagram dm?

[Vikkrram]

Yes why not... go ahead... but better it would be to meet him in person...