How do I deal with neurotic colleagues who project onto me all the damn time and act accordingly? They keep trying to find me flaws?

[Nwth41]

I have started this new job as an intern and I need my colleagues/ supervisors's blessing to definitely get the job and these people are a nightmare.

My supervisor projects her insecurities into what she interprets. Her and others want me to be for instance: insecure, ashamed, with an illness, mentally disabled etc etc. They keep moving the goalpost to try and find me flaws whenever I prove them wrong. My supervisor also hacked into my google account and takes for granted stuff I wrote years ago and keeps reiterating these things to me (I realize this by rereading it).

These women are midle-aged and yentas and low-achievers by the way.

How do I mentally accept that they will keep on trying to downgrade me to their level? It makes me upset and I do my best not to play nice but I cannot avoid them.

They also downgrade my work, one of them made comments about my online research and downgraded it, she was clearly bothered. Another one convinces herself I did not go to the uni I went to but was in a special program.

They cannot accept they did not do their best in their own prime time.

My tactic is to avoid and ignore but it is mentally draining since they are the ones who will give me the job. Should I play into their fantasy to secure the job? I am really fed up and need to wait maybe 8 more months.

[RoboticKnight]

Healthcare (going on assumption & anecdote) really does sound exhausting, and I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. I had worked for a particular high-level government agency, under a narcissistic supervisor. The only options I had available, we're to wait out the individual's retirement, or to transfer.

However, I have heard of similar circumstances from a few friends... One has worked as a nurse in a convalescent home, being 300lb, he has the mass to easily move people when needed. His supervisors would criticize his physique and diet (while admittedly not being great), it had nothing to do with nor affected his job performance.

Another friend being a (new) psychotherapist found three different jobs in a row (switching from each only months apart) where she was negatively criticized by her peers, or supervisor, and sometimes both of them together. She was also surrounded by narcissists (there 's a trend here).

Sadly, there's no fighting their behavior, and it's a sucky position to be stuck between. I would hate to have to suggest sticking it out because I personally know that path; but I also know what happens if you confront the individuals on their attitude, and while situations may vary, I wouldn't recommend it.

If it's possible to just ignore or endure until your internship has completed, laugh it all off in the end; strength through adversity, insertotherwordsofencouragement, etcetc.

Best of luck to ya!

[Oliverlogan263]

Ugh, sounds like these old hags are mega jealous of your skills and want to bring you down to feel better about themselves. Super lame.

Yeah playing it cool is definitely the move for now since you need their approval. But don't let em see they get to you either - stay confident in your abilities.

Couple things I'd try:

- Kill them with kindness. Stay polite but don't engage much beyond work stuff. Less ammunition that way.

- Stroke their egos when you have to. Compliment their "experience" or some shiz now and then so they feel big.

- Document everything covertly in case you needCYA later. Dates, "conversations", any hacks to the boss.

- Band together with others they pick on too for support if any. Strength in numbers.

Just bide your time till you're official, then you won't need kiss ass no more. Prove em wrong with your mad skills! You got this.

[msc545]

Get away from these people. They will never stop harassing you.