Girl at one of the stores I work out of is apparently "freaked out" by me but never gave me any indication that she was. How do I proceed here?

[Anonymous]

A little context: I do work out of numerous stores and to make my work days better, I go out of my way to make friends with the employees. The girl in question here is a manager, who for the longest time I just never spoke to. She's really quiet and shy, but one day we crossed paths and it kind of broke the ice. From then on, I would say hi to her when we saw eachother, which turned into small talk and eventually longer conversations. All totally normal in my mind. I was under the impression that we were becoming friends, just like various employees from this store and others.

So through these casual conversations, I suggest we take my dog, who I just recently adopted to go get some pizza and take him the dog park. She agreed, but I didn't set an exact time or day. So like a week later when I got the chance to talk to her, I got her phone number and suggested a day for our pizza outing. She gave me her number and was on board with the idea. I left and didn't think much of it. Later that evening I realized that I didn't send her my number, so I shot her a quick text and didn't get a reply.

So a few days later, I had my dog in the store to grab a couple of things. And apparently they had recently changed the policy to not allow dogs, so she had to be the tell me the bad news. During this exchange, I asked her if she got my number, to which she said "Yeah, I did, I'll text you later". So again, I thought nothing of it.

Fast forward a few more days, I'm in the store getting some things for my mom and wanted to update her about a court case I was called as a witness for against my unruly neighbor. I had been telling her about it as it developed. I didn't see her anywhere and when I was about to check out, one of the employees pulled me aside and said "Hey man, you're freaking Jessica out". It honestly caught me by surprise. I told him I had no idea she was put off me and told him to tell her that I apologize. How would you guys handle this? I've never had this happen

[Oliverlogan263]

Dang dude, what a weird situation. Def puts you in an awkward spot now. A few thoughts on how to handle it:

- Def don't reach out to Jessica direct right now since she seems freaked. Might make things worse.

- Next time you see the other employees, just play it cool. Say something like "Hey yeah, thanks for the heads up on Jessica. Really didn't mean to weird her out at all. Guess I misread the friendliness. No worries though, I'll give her space from now on."

- Maybe try to chat up one of the more friendly employees just to get their take. Feel out if there's anything else you should know or avoid in the future at that store.

- And lesson learned - even if you think things are going well chatting someone up, always make sure to respect their space too. Some chicks just want polite casual conversation, not actual hanging out, ya know? Easy to cross lines accidentally.

- I'd say just let it blow over now. Don't pursue Jessica further or bring it up again. Hopefully in time she'll realize you meant no harm. But play it smooth from here on out there, my dude.

Always sucks when a miscommunication causes trouble like that. But sounds like you handled it well once you knew - just gotta be extra perceptive with chicks moving forward!

[Asker]

Thanks for the input man. Yeah, it's definitely a weird one. I have friends (both male and female) from other stores that I hang out with and that I met in the exact same way. So it really was that I misread the situation. You tend to think when someone has extended conversations with you and agrees to plans that you're not really doing anything creepy. But I guess I need to reexamine that.

Something else I noticed is that another friend from this same store, who I've been friends with for 2 years without incident, unfollowed me on Instagram. I thought that was a little odd. I never made any romantically charged or sexual advances, the conversations were always pretty innocent and mundane. I'll likely take a while away from this store and just keep my head down when I inevitably have to go back.

[Oliverlogan263]

Dang dude, I feel your pain. That part about your longtime friend unfollowing you out of nowhere is really weird too. I can understand why you'd be second-guessing yourself now.

I think taking a step back from that store for a bit is a good call to let things settle down. Definitely don't want anyone feeling uncomfortable around you, even if your intentions were totally innocent.

It's hard not to wonder what happened behind the scenes to flip the script like that. My best guess is maybe Jessica misunderstood something you said and vented to your other friend, who then jumped on the "he's creepy" bandwagon without really thinking it through. Girls can be kind of click-ish like that sometimes.

Anyway, try not to stress too much man. You seem like a nice enough dude just trying to make friends at work. Sometimes it just doesn't click with certain people for no fault of your own.

Stay cool when you inevitably gotta go back, and I'm sure things will blow over. And be glad you dodged a bullet - who knows what kind of drama Jessica might've stirred up down the line! You'll meet cooler girls, don't even sweat it bro.

[strateguy632]

i wouldn't believe that