Why did my coworkers give me the cold shoulder for missing work and the kids holiday performance?

[Anonymous]

I got sick last Wednesday and I think my coworkers are upset because I was unable to be at the Christmas holiday show. We’ll I could not get people sick. Two days later I got better and I said I felt bad for not being there. One of my coworkers said, “Yeah I bet you did.”
The other one got silent and said, “Well we were counting on you to be there to help the kids with the holiday show but it all worked out so it’s fine. Wow…. way to make me feel better. I thought they would say, “No it isn’t your fault. Don’t feel bad.” I think they were upset with me that I wasn’t there. I did tell the admin and my team that I wasn’t going to mine about to come in because I was sick. It felt like they gave me the cold shoulder. I know we rehearsed for weeks and to get the kids ready.
We’re on break now and I apologized again for not being about to make it…. no response. At least they’re honest but they didn’t have to be so blunt about it.

[HollyK21]

Yes, your coworkers were probably upset or annoyed with you because they were counting on you and you weren’t there. They know you were sick but it’s just the principle of it, unfortunately. Everything went fine anyway, and you don’t need to keep apologizing because the situation is over now. What you’re fishing for with your apology at this point is some version of: “No it isn’t your fault. Don’t feel bad.”, you want them to absolve you of the guilt that you’re feeling but that’s not their problem. If I were you I’d just stop talking about this and let it blow over.

[Asker]

I understand they were annoyed but it wasn’t my fault that I got sick. I really wanted to be there. I did but I didn’t want to get everyone sick. I talked to my sister and she said, “Well I can understand why they felt that way. I mean you were sick and it’s understandable but they we’re counting on you to be there and they needed my help but you wasn’t there and the kids needed you but like they said it worked out so don’t worry about it and move on.” That didn’t make me feel better but okay.

[HollyK21]

Your sister and I are definitely on the same page. Look, I get that it sucks being the one in the hot seat. You’re feeling ousted over this whole situation and just ready for it all to go back to normal so you can feel better. But everyone’s entitled to feeling how they feel even if you don’t agree. No you can’t control getting sick and obviously you didn’t plan it but what can you do? The timing sucked no matter what and you weren’t there to pull your weight after all this time of practice. They were relying on you and you couldn’t come through. It’s nobody’s fault, it just sucks. That’s a pill you’re gonna have to swallow and put it behind you. This is not gonna be the topic of discussion forever, hopefully sooner rather than later something else happens and you’ll all move on. You’ve just gotta deal with it for now.

[Asker]

I see your point. I understood they were disappointed and I was too. I feel really bad and my sister said, “Well yeah I bet you did. I mean you helped them with rehearsals and on the day of the performance, you weren’t there. They relied on you to be there and help but you didn’t. You weren’t there but like I said it isn’t your fault you got sick. it was nobody’s fault. Let it go.” I told her two staff helped them so it worked out. Way to make me feel better. Then she said, “Okay there you go. It worked out. Let it go. Besides I’m not trying to make you feel better. I mean you SHOULD feel bad. But don’t worry about it. It’s kind of strange that you got sick on that day and then the next day you came to work? That doesn’t make sense. But oh well you can’t control it.”
I got sick Wednesday evening and then I felt like crap the next day. I felt a little better Friday. Not 100%.
She said it didn’t matter and that’s strange

[Asker]

There’s a valentines performance coming up and I will be there. My sister said, “You better make sure you don’t get sick. Also you better be there.”

[msc545]

They don't believe you were sick, and theythink you were just making an excuse to not be there. That seems unreasonable.

[Asker]

That’s not true. I was sick. If I wasn’t then I would have been there. I wanted to be there! Honest I couldn’t get people sick