How can I build a respect as a female manager?

Question

I recently got an offer to work as a manager (just a small coffee shop with 10 employes. How can I build a respect as an young female. I started wearing a glasses and more elegant clothes. Im afraid people won't really accept me. Should i be more strict or friendly?

LuciusTheOdd · Accepted Answer

Step one, If you are in a leadership position, you are not a woman, you are leader, You don’t build your leadership off of your identity you build your identity off of your leadership, If you go into a position thinking “This is who I am, this is how I’m gonna do things.” Then all you’re going to get is broken promises, Disappointment and inevitable stagnation.

Who you are at home and who you are as a leader are too very separate things and they should remain separate. When you go in, You’re not whatever your name is instead you are a teammate With responsibilities, Which leads us to the next step.

Once you ditch the excess baggage at the door, The next step becomes clear, How can I be the best teammate possible and how can I best perform my responsibilities?
Being a teammate is simple, Hold yourself and everyone else to a certain standard, Which is reasonable and relevant to their job. Then you get to know them, Figure out what the workplace culture is, When assimilate to it While also helping drive it into a productive direction.
Next is fulfilling your Responsibilities, Since I don’t know your exact position, I cannot give any definitive answer to it, but what I will say, Is that as a leader one responsibility you have is making sure everyone else can see that you have a good work ethic and are responsible, Because your work ethic is going to set the tone for what everyone else is willing to do, So if you slack off or you’re constantly away, then the people under, you are not going to take you seriously, And if you overwork yourself and don’t give yourself time off, then the people under you are going to feel pressured, So balancing your own life will also encourage your Subordinates to do the same, Also, if you are constantly helping new employees with their job, then the people under you are going to start doing the same, Because you as the leader set the example that everyone else follows.

Once you have accomplished, all of that, I can say congratulations you have met what I would consider to be the bare minimum standard for a leadership position, Now you can move onto what sets you apart from other adequate leaders, Basically have your own gimmick, Throw throwing in your own little flavor to the workplace can actually make a big difference, Believe it or not small and simple eccentricities can actually make or break morale, It’s like branding, Branding can’t sell a trash product for long but branding can absolutely Make a good product go through the moon, Which is exactly why things like the Stanley Cup became popular despite how overrated they are, And while no one would want to admit this, because it kind of denies their personhood, the fact is when you are a leader, you are also a product except your customer isn’t the general public. Your customer is your subordinates, Your peers and your superiors, And the better you can mark yourselves to them The more willing they are to listen to you.

My last bit of advice and this one is super useful because this is one where a lot of people fail, You need to set boundaries, but you also can’t be an asshole, It’s really not that hard but for some reason, a lot of people fail here. They are either too chill and let people walk all over them which I see very frequently or they are assholes and no one wants to work with them and you have a high turnover rate, And while that might not be a big deal for short-term profits on a grander scale, Companies that nobody wants to work for will inevitably fall apart, All it takes is the right type of pressure.

I don’t know what you will think about my opinion, But coming from experience what I can say is that leadership is in fact, not a complicated or a difficult task, If you respect your subordinates, Cater to your superiors, Avoid causing problems for your peers, Leave your ego at the door And set your priorities straight everything else sort of falls in line, Because a good leader doesn’t have to boss people around, the Subordinates will be doing the job before the boss has the time to say it in the first place.

Here is why under a good boss employees will get the job done before the boss can say anything.
1. Every employee will already know how things should be done, The system is easy to digest. They understand the logic behind the system, and you made it so completing their tasks do not feel complicated.
2. Because everyone under you understands How you think And organize things, 90% of the time They can just ask themselves what would you want and never have to talk to you to begin with.
3. Your subordinates will think that you’re fair and that you’re reasonable and they will like you but at the same time they know that if they do some stupid shit, there will be some consequences So they will be motivated to do a good job.
4. If you have gotten to understand your subordinates and taught them how to coordinate with each other than each subordinate will understand how to make the job easier for everyone else as well, so they can efficiently divide tasks among themselves.

This is great stuff because at that point you have a mostly autonomous system, Once everything is set up and you get the ball rolling, all you’ll have to do is make small adjustments here and there and also continue to set a good example so that way people continue to do their job.

To summarize:
Respect is a combination of a few factors That being Understanding, Love or admiration, A small dose of fear, A bit of camaraderie and a sense of safety Or structure.

WindAtMyBack · Accepted Answer

Start by not thinking of yourself as a female manager. You don't need the adjective. You are the manager.

Keep it friendly. That should be true of all managers, but especially in a small intimate environment like a coffee shop. Also, in a small shop like that you will be a worker and do the same things everyone else does. That's too small to have a manager who only manages and doesn't pitch in. Sometimes you will have management duties, but the rest of the time pitch in.

Plus you should know how to do everything in the store from making coffee to cleaning the toilets. Yes, clean the restrooms if they need it and everyone else is busy. You want respect from employees, that will get it real fast.

An employee who resists doing something when you ask them to, is a problem employee. If they want to test you, just calmly repeat what you asked them to do. Don't raise your voice with employees.

For the most part, you are just another employee and a co-worker. You just have an additional duty beyond what they do. Hopefully you never have to exert your authority. Because if you do, then you are dealing with problem employees who might need to be replaced.

bobalife · Accepted Answer

Lead with your head up and model with professionalism.

I always wear very professional attire even if some people don’t, but you’ll be perceived more respected and acknowledge for your position.

A good leader always keep a good full ear of what her team want and need to build a good, cohesive team.

Be friendly to show some personality and rapport, but remaining professional and maintain good boundaries. Employees want to feel trusted by their leader and vice versa.

Don’t focus on your gender, but what you bring in the mission, vision, core values, and a positive work environment. Be welcoming to let others learn from you and what standard you wannna set.

You got this, girl boss!😎

jennifer_bloom · Accepted Answer

The way to get respect is to seem serious and opinionated and quick thinking, that scares people into trying to do what you expect of them. My dad is friends with a guy who used to work at a restaurant before retiring, and he said when he needed to hire professionals to do repairs jobs around the restaurant, he was alway very serious, impersonal, and did not change his facial expression very much, this type of aura commands respect and makes people work harder to please you. I found if I was too nice to guys when I talk to them, they assume I am sexually interested in them, when in my mind, I was just a friend. People do not always respect sweetness, especially when you are a boss.

Advisor Smith · Accepted Answer

I’ve managed teams since my mid‑20s; respect never came from age, gender, or glasses.

Focus on:

1. Clarity
- Set clear expectations: schedules, standards, consequences.
- Be consistent and fair.

2. Competence
- Learn every task in the shop.
- Jump in during busy times; people respect hands‑on leaders.

3. Communication style
- Friendly, but not a “buddy.”
- Give direct feedback, calmly and privately.

4. Boundaries
- Don’t join gossip or overshare.
- Enforce rules the same for everyone.

Firm + kind beats strict or soft.

Telekinetic-Potato · Answer

I'd say it's important to get a lay of the land first. Let the other managers show you how things work first. You might get annoyed at certain things and see opportunities to do better but man or woman one of the fastest killers of respect is someone who blows the doors off the frame and jumps right in so to speak.

Be paitent, ask questions start off with sublty and then you'll start growing into your role in a way where you fit.

A lot of woman feel this need to go above and beyond to prove themselves. Which is part of the reason people like hiring woman for those roles. Nobody wants to get reprimanded by a girl 😂 it sucks.

But "the stick" is a lot like medicine. It's only potent if used sparingly. You have a lot of different ways to come across in a way where people listen to you and trust is always the way that supports longevity the most.

If someone is doing something wrong, take them to the side. Publically recognize when they do the right stuff. That builds trust. If everyone in the workplace knows you act this way, then it makes it so that when you do need to put your foot down in some way, it comes across totally differently.

Managing is all about having the self awareness to control how you come across and the empathy to understand that nobody actually WANTS to be bad at their job. Even if they act like they do.

Build relationships with everyone and the rest will come naturally over time.

MrOracle · Answer

The first thing is that YOU need to be competent. You need to know everyone's job and be able to do it as well or better than they can.

You need to be fair. No playing favorites. Ideally, you would rotate everyone through all jobs, so that everyone understands what everyone else has to do. This will make it easier for people to adjust during busy times or if someone has to cover a shift.

When I managed restaurants, everyone had a cleaning task at the end of their shift. And the tasks rotated so no one got stuck with the worst job all the time, and no one could complain because everyone got a turn.

You will nearly always get better results by noticing and praising good work than by criticizing bad work, so try to focus more on the good. It will make people want to do better, and most people will.

Respect must be earned, and being knowledgeable, competent, fair, positive, and never asking others to do anything you won't is how you earn it.

Now, here's something to keep in mind for the future. You are going to be a low level manager. People in such positions are often not treated especially well, rarely promoted, and can be let go at any time. So, do yourself a favor. Collect as many statistics as you can about your performance. Did sales go up under your tenure? By what percentage? Did costs go down? How was turnover? How did customer sentiment change?

Companies ultimately care most about the bottom line, so if you can show numbers and data that you improved the bottom line, you have much more leverage with that company and with any other company if you leave. Real, documented accomplishments mean way more than years at the job.

Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

Respect is respect & respect is something that is not always given & respect is something that has to be earned & earning respect might or will happen over time.

Happy workers work harder & if your employees are happy life is good.

A team is a wonderful thing & just remember there is no (I in TEAM) & as a team leader your teammates are going to look up to you.

As for a manager a manager is a manager & as for you you’re going to I have to be a manager when you are a manager but just remember you are still a person just like the people that are working for you.

Did you ever work in a coffee shop or manage a coffee shop?

As for management experience I have it & as for me I worked my way up & I always tell people I want to be an Indian before I become chief & as for you if you are becoming a chief before you are an Indian good luck if you don’t know the business.

As for wearing glasses & wearing more elegant clothes I think that is great that you started doing that but when you are on the job wear what your teammates wear unless your employer requires you to wear more elegant clothing.

Go have a few cups of coffee at the coffee shop & take a look around from a customers prospective. Is the place clean, how’s the service, how are the restrooms, how are the employees, how do the other customers like the place & if the place doesn’t have a lot of customers that tells you something.

A job offer is a job offer & actually getting the job is another thing.

Did you get the job?

ohsheeT · Answer

First of all you have to start being honest with everything and yourself the next thing is you have to be real no matter what no bullshit no fluff no nothing be real

And then you ask yourself Do I like that title manager supervisor Us Nobody respects Those three titles Because they're usually Finger pointed Hired And they don't know what they're doing So You can either become one of those titles or you can become a leader It has that title Become that person You know each Person's job And how to do it You don't ask anybody to do something you wouldn't do If you see that they need help help them without saying one word because when you start doing that you start working as a team and people will start following you they will see your good worker you're not scared of work you don't start drama bullshit or anything like that is a matter of fact you put a stop to it if it starts to happen that's the last thing you want is have two employees start talking crap about you if you're being lazy or anything negative they can find so don't give them that opportunity take control quietly always be thinking 500 yards ahead because things come up fast and you have to be able to take care of them so first thing first make a choice leader or manager manager you're not going to make it leader your eyes tell me that you can be a good leader you just have to know how to do it and I'm sure you can

Purpleronnie · Answer

Given that most people there will probably be older than you my advice would be for you be integrate as a team player , collaborate with the team , get to know them individually , their strengths and weaknesses , and especially how they wish to be managed.

However you need to focus on being right all of the time , leading by example. Don’t be arrogant , don’t attempt to school them and demand from them. You need to be one of the team but you need to be the best of them.

You show weakness , they will exploit it… it’s a very fine line to walk but you have to make them want to work with you and also for you

Good luck 👍

CalmUntilAbused · Answer

Well... I actually have a female manager in my job, and there are three things that make working with Her really comfortable. She is gentle, helpful and only appears if necessary. Oh, but She's also older than me, so there is no room for misunderstandings here.

Honestly, I think if You are young and a manager, You are doomed to fail (however, You will be able to put the blame on Your male subordinates, who will get fired and transform into E. R. cultists in turn). If You really want to try, though, assume a merit-based approach, but do not be too nosy. You will be there to pass on communication between the employees and the higher management, and that should work out fine).

Oh, and looks really do not matter. Honestly, the more unremarkable You look, the more safe You feel. The more gorgeous You look, the greater the chance of male employees quitting to escape the sight of You and put their minds at ease.

Tarifa · Answer

First of all, you need to assess all aspects of the business. It doesn't matter if it's a small shop with 10 employees or a department within a bigger company.

Learn to delegate. You'll need some time to get to know your employees' strengths and shortcomings. Be especially careful with whom you trust with money (cash register, taking money to the bank if there's too much cash at the end of the day).

Don't be the bossy type, but don't expect to make friends either. You can't have friends amongst your employees and expect them to respect you. Some personal interest is fine, but keep your distance as well.

And if you ever have to take a tough decision, like firing someone, just use the phrase 'the company has decided that...'. Make it less personal, although it's tough on both sides.

lightbulb27 · Answer

Watch some videos. It's how you carry yourself.

Listen, have empathy, and be decisive. Also when you show up, be stern and don't let people get away with stuff. These kids these days are lazy brats and poorly trained. We have that at home and ours get a lot of attention.

Make rules and hold them. Assign work. Kids will push boundaries. An older person to manage likely would be easier to deal with.

Keep your boundaries... do not go flirting with and romancing others in the team/area, it lowers your power as a woman and gets you in trouble. It's work.

Watch videos and watch people whom are in charge to see what they do.

Like in music, the rest of the song goes off the first note. Your first note needs to be strong and clear.

Congrats!

Jersey2 · Answer

If you don’t need glasses and only wear them to appear smart, they will find out and lose all respect for you. I actually saw this type of thing play out. Hilarious.

You want respect. Be master of all tasks there. Prioritize getting the job done but be flexible where you can. At slow times get to know your people. Who wants to have more hours, who less on certain days, who does the team think highly of and who not. That doesn’t mean agree it means take it in to get the pulse of the team. Accept that some will never accept you as a manager (not as a woman).

Lastly, get rid of those that undermine you if you can. Align with your management before doing so.

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

I've seen pictures seriously mismatching with the question asked before, so your attempt is okay but not groundbreaking.

I give you a 6.5 out of 10 on the MMN mismatching scale.

You could have earned more points if you pulled off a duckface on top of a selfie, I hope you'll improve, good luck with the next question !

KBird · Answer

I think be strict when you need to be strict, but also be friendly. People will like you for being friendly, but when it calls for it, be strict and do your job. Sometimes you won't gain people's respect, and thats on them. Just do the best you can at your job, and if someone is out of line, call them on their BS. The only thing you can do, is expect them to listen to you and do their job. If they refuse to do that, then maybe their not a good team player.

Finchie40 · Answer

Be polite but a little stern as well, because you don’t want the employees to walk over you and take advantage of you whatsoever, also be a team player meaning jump in when it gets busy and your employees will respect you for that , instead of them seeing you just standing there telling them what to do lol

FreyaRed · Answer

Be credible, don't fool around even if others do, threat others with superficial respect, don't go in pointless argumentation. Real respect needs to be earned but it treating others well isn't difficult.
If you have discipline someone ( this is unavoidable ) behave controlled aggressive but be always fair. People will understand a reprimand if you're fair and your arguments are credible.

Usually you learn something like that in management seminars

Bricealan · Answer

@tereza07 the company that hired you is responsible to send you to classes for management training, or SHOULD have hired someone that had management experience before they hired them. Responsible companies do no hire persons for management positions that have not had management training or experience

Theunfadeable · Answer

You should be competent and reliable. no one‘s gonna respect someone who doesn’t look like they know what they’re doing.. it’s hard not to respect the manager who is fair consistent and provides good leadership. Be an effective leader that’s easy to work for and people will be glad that you’re the manager. Don’t forget that being respected is more important than being liked

jazzy34 · Answer

Hope the following info helps you:

"Building respect as a female manager requires a combination of high-level competence, consistent assertiveness, and authentic relationship-building. Key strategies include setting firm boundaries, communicating directly without filler words, demonstrating expertise, supporting your team, and maintaining composure under pressure. Confidence in your decisions and appearance also plays a major role."

(Source: Google search)

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

Being a good leader. If you don't usually wear glasses, I wouldn't. It's okay to be friendly with the people under you, but... you're not their friend. You're their boss and work needs to be done. If you get the job done, you will get respect, because good leadership leads to good results.

ChicoFromThe305 · Answer

Depends if you want to earn respect or make friends, respect and fear can only be earned if you aren't friends with them, I personally don't believe work friends is a good idea either since they will eventually more than likely take advantage of that and as manager since you are responsible for a team, that falls back on you since you lead them and thats your job, so hard to say

Massageman · Answer

You are the Manager. Actually take interest in what you will be taught as a new manager. Graciously accept that input. Get glasses that flatter your face and not look like pie pans. "Lay low" the first several weeks. Get an idea of what's what, and who does what. Often, a manager will have to wear several hats (do several tasks). Make sure your decisions are consistent, and based with the same non-assumptive attitude you expect from others.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Never be friendly with co-workers as the manager because that will cause them not to respect you as the boss.

Be respectful to your employees and lead by example how the job is supposed to be done.

If you don't how something is being done then you must let it be known to them.

msg321 · Answer

I think you shouldn't be fake and play the boss. You should be natural and act with self-confidence. If you are chosen for this position that means you are already qualified for this position so just be yourself. You even don't need to ask anyone. Ask yourself how a manager should treat his/her workers and treat them according to your answer. The manager is in you. Listen your inner manager 😊

Bbblittle · Answer

You don't deserve the respect you are asking for, when you are *given the position... Not *earn it... It's basically you skipping the life experience and receiving the outcome... just for the benefits of wanting to be a leader.

Don't demand respect where none is due, girl 🙄

AviatorTom · Answer

Try to be a manager, not a FEMALE manager. Balance your business responsibilities with caring for your employees.

genericname85 · Answer

Step one would be: don't look at your Job through the lense of gender. Just do your fucking job proper and people will respect you. If you think about everything in terms of you being a woman, you already lost.

HighValue · Answer

Treat people fairly, be open to hearing people's suggestions, even if you decide not to go along with it in the end, and just act like your normal self. (Don't do the "fake it until you make it" nonsense.)

Cyfris · Answer

None of the above. Do the job better than anyone else could. Be consistant in what you say and do. Captains eat last, remember with out them you could not exist.

Anonymous · Answer

My favorite manager was strict, but fair. There's nothing more frustrating than managers who don't check the lazy/incompetent employees who make your job more difficult than it needs to be as you are left to pick up their slack. Be that kind of manager. The good employees will appreciate you.

ChiTown33 · Answer

By being fair, firm, and consistent. You're not going to make everyone happy, don't even try. You will lose people, let them go. But the RIGHT ones will remain. Success is not always immediate try to remember that.

Kayla45 · Answer

Respect those you work with, they’ll likely appreciate it and show the same in return.

Anonymous · Answer

It is a coffee shop not a fortune 500 . Your employees will be hired and leave next day. Unless you pay them $25 an hour , nothing you say or do will keep them there very long. It is a shit job they took because at this time , they can't get anything better. Now with Trump as President , maybe they will have to stay working there longer than they want.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

Friendly with nice people who deserves your friendshop and strict with ones whom you need to be strict with...

This photos of yours i'd say naaahhh, just be yourself, such as the successful photo in your profile...

exitseven · Answer

Treat everyone fairly and make sure all duties are covered, Communicate your intentions to the entire staff, and be professional.

queenofcardio · Answer

Prioritize establishing professional boundaries early on. You're not there to be a friend.

firenine909 · Answer

You don’t have to do everything. Be nice to your coworkers, teach them what they need to do and they’ll be fine having you as their manager

LC75LC71 · Answer

First take off those 1983 Donahue glasses and focus more on the store than the employees. You probably know them already and what they are capable of.

Agape93 · Answer

Be consistent, be reasonable, be human or at least pretend it.

Sammy098 · Answer

Be friendly but not super friendly. Remember that you are a manager not a coworker. And don't fall in love with anyone working at your place or hookup.

Anonymous · Answer

You are not fooling anyone with your pictures.  Reverse Image Search.

Shy_Steve · Answer

Try to look after your staff your staff that do the most work and get tough on staff that are lazy.

Jeff51 · Answer

If employees don't respect you as a boss and don't follow your instructions then write them and replace them.

fish5505_87 · Answer

Be yourself, be honest, and treat your employees with respect. As a manager of people, they know when your bullshitting.

DarKnight36 · Answer

Treat people well, but only those who deserve it, not everyone. Only then will you earn respect.

Staximus · Answer

You're the boss, run shit. You're in charge so be in charge. That's how you do it.

blackeagle007 · Answer

Be fair. Your responsibility is to create a safe and productive work enviorment.

Anonymous · Answer

Be friendly until they appear to not respect you, then gradually become more strict until they show respect.

oldman26 · Answer

Be fair, friendly, be aware of the bs, , do not play favorites

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

First off you have to be fair and impartial and have an open door policy

Anonymous · Answer

Be friendly without becoming a friend  Be strict when required

slatyb · Answer

You build respect by respecting your employees.

AngryCarl3 · Answer

You could wear a fake moustache.

Jennz6 · Answer

I have never been a manager

In_Trance · Answer

What part of the business are you managing?

Crankor · Answer

Just do your job well. Thats it

Ariesman81 · Answer

Fire the one no one likes

LiamJHayden · Answer

Be strong and fair.

Shrimpenjoyer · Answer

Are you really 18?

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

Be a good delegator.

Anonymous · Answer

By doing your job well.

jahaims · Answer

Lmfao

Anonymous · Answer

Smoking hot 🔥

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