Why do schools suspend kids for self-defense against bullies, even when it’s unfair?

[Anonymous]

This is a follow-up to one of my questions. Yes, I've been trained to defend mysef for an early age; even taught how to shoot too if needed in a life-death situation.

I was once involved in an unfair situation with a boy in middle school. We were the same age (13-14 years old) but that boy was already bigger and heavier than me. I defended myself against a future predator after he purposely tripped me by sticking out his foot (while I was minding my own business, carrying my books) for thrills.

This resulted in a stomach strike and bloody nose for him. Here is the unfair part: While he got suspended for the whole week, I still got a 2 day suspension because I should've been the bigger person and reported it at first. I'm thinking, even if I was able to defend myself... that was still an unfair fight. He was unfair and cowardly. What is a big boy picking on a smaller, little girl?

Here is another unfair part:

That boy's parents were just as upset as my parents too. His parents even had the nerves to say ''He's bleeding, that little bitch throwing cheap shots, she just hurt our son, etc''. My parents obviously fought back verbally too. Even the boy's friends and other said he started it. Do you find it unfair that even if you're bullied and fight back (even a girl against a bigger, heavier bully boy... unfair... a fight we shouldn't ever get in), you still get suspended, still punished?

Updates

1 mo

I felt outrage for the school administrators to be honest. Off course I had to apply elements of surprise (what his parents called cheap shots) because a regular fair, I would've been destroyed right there. If someone much bigger is trying to hurt me, I'm not ever going to fight fair since it's already an unfair fight in the first place.

[Effably]

Appropriate self defense.

If someone attacks me I can punch them. I can not repeatedly stomp on their head until it squashes.

If someone tries to trip you, which is labeled a prank by most, going right into assault would be an incredibly escalation of violence.

I think you should be glad at just how exorbitant the favouritism you received is. A one week suspension for attempting to trip someone? Unheard of. A two day suspension for assault? Very mild.

The rather insane handling of this is probably only because you were the small girl and he the bigger, physically, guy. Had the roles been reversed and you attempted to trip him after which he asaaulted you with punches to the face he'd probably be expelled.

So. Appropriate response. Life threatened? Gun is fine. Someone looked at you wrong? A gun is not fine. Someone tries to trip you? A slap is already a lot. Punching someone's face is past the line.

We can of course argue that perhaps you did some good. Although given the rather juvenile bullying it is as likely he was into you as trying to cause you problems.

The TLDR is, you should have gotten way more. He should've gotten a scolding.

[Asker]

I was scared and he sounded like he wouldn't have stopped. He was even saying ''what you doing to do about it huh, cry, yeah, come on cry''. At certain point I felt (by observing his gesture and posture) he was trying to go for more.
Previously to this, he had already shoved two other kids against the wall; a boy and another girl... both smaller than him. He was known as a bully by others.

[Asker]

I stopped after those two back-to-back strikes. I didn't continue afterwards.

[Chazmatazz269]

Teachers and skool administrators are the people who loved skool. The people who had bad experiences left skool determined to never go back. Those who loved it were never bullied, and often argue that bullying was an invaluable part of their experience. Obviously because they were always on top. So when those people are in charge of the skools, they are going to encourage bullying and punish the kids who fight back. That’s the way it has always been. That is how it will always be.

[Vesuvius87]

It's no surprise to be honest. My female 7th grade bully (Massiel B. Gaitan was her name) and then popular girl was a teacher years ago, teaching grade school kids. Yeah off course she likes school. She was never in my shoes. The mantra of how your bullies will turn out to be loser flipping burgers is mainly false. Most turned out to be even more successful at their workplace and professions.

[Vesuvius87]

Schools don't care. They've always been useless when solving bullying issues.

[Nikki1989]

Schools have always been useless when it comes to bullies.

[Vesuvius87]

Like someone else mentioned they were probably bullies themselves too. Hence the indifference in their treatment towards bully victims.

[NaultD]

A justice system with no rights. No jury of peers.

[slatyb]

Because they want to avoid controversy. They should be sued whenever they do this.

[In_Trance]

Chances are, it's because they have a zero violence policy. It's not about being fair

[Asker]

If someone starts it and they make threatening gestures and postures (still daring you, scaring you), that looks like a good reason to stop the threat.

[In_Trance]

That is something you'll have to discuss with the school board

[jahaims]

So they don't have legal trouble and to discourage self defense

[Anonymous]

Because the schools and teachers are far left and need bullies in years to come to act as their enforcers when the civil war finally arrives

[AngryCarl3]

What school is this? Ninja school?

[Vesuvius87]

Typical middle school where you still get punished for hitting back against bullies

[Vesuvius87]

Like the OP, it happened to me with some girl. They are useless with bullying issues.

[Chazmatazz269]

😂😂😂😂😂
Someone just blew their own cover!
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Vesuvius87]

@Chazmatazz269
Nope. The OP just reminded me of my most miserable time at school.