Yes, I know, we all know, movies are supposed to be pure fantasy, especially many romantic ones or ones that depict couples. That's why some of us enjoy them, because it's total escapism. But, for the fun of it, let's take a stab at how movies get real world relationships wrong.
1. Everyone meets by a crazy accident
OMG, BAM! The quirky secretary and the gym addicted ad exec run into each other on Main Street. He spills his coffee on her and hilariously tries to wipe it off her. She realizes when she goes to help pick up his bag, that his gym membership card has slipped out, and ooo it's the same gym she just also happens to be on her way to attend a class he just happens to be trying for the first time at the suggestion of his friend who happens to be her brother. Cut to, and then they get married. Of all the couples I have known in my entire life, none of them have met by pure crazy accident. They may have met at school, work, dating site, introduced by friends, but all this 'and then their eyes met,' I'm sure happens to some people, but not at a rate of 98% of couples the way it's depicted in the movies.
2. One huge romantic gesture solves everything
Did movie you cheat on your spouse and lie about it for 6 months knocking up your mistress and then after being kicked out, break in and fill your soon to be ex's apartment with roses and she took you back? Ugh, somethings no amount of money or flash mobs can fix the way they seem to be able to in the movies. People F-up, and they can f-up really badly and to think that singing a song or throwing a bunch of flowers at the problem is supposed to fix everything instantaneously is pretty much delusional thinking. Not saying people don't work things out, even in the worst situations, but it's pretty much never solved just like that.
3. Stalking is A-okay as long as you like the person
Hiding out in the bushes, just showing up repeatedly at someone's school, home, or job, following them in your car, hacking their email, leaving tons of messages...is creepy. In movies/tv they paint these situations as really romantic. Some guy or girl just wants to get to know you better and the only way the lovable goofs can is if they follow you around until surprised by this loving gesture, you become a couple. Nope. Not cool. You persist at this in real life, you'll likely have a restraining order put on you or worse.
4. Relationships solve everything
If you are clinically depressed, you're out of work, you're in debt, you have issues getting close to people, you're dealing with childhood trauma...yeah,those things don't magically get solved when someone says, you want to be in a relationship with me. You really do have to work on you at some point because joining in a partnership with someone else and expecting as in a movie, that life magically becomes wonderful and carefree after that, is not going to happen. Your baggage is still your baggage and that other person can't solve all your problems just be coupling up with you.
5. Life between the sheets is always magical
Oh yes, oui, oui, she has a stunning face of make-up and her $1,000 French lace lingerie on, and he has abs rippling and the wind wafting through his flowing hair betwixt the light of 250,000 candles and then it happens. It is glorious. Magical. Long lasting. Both of you climax at the same exact times and are ready to go again. Yup, that's what happens every time. Ev-er-y time.
6. Everyone eventually falls in love
It's fate in movies that no matter who you are, there is someone out there for you and all you have to do is open your eyes or stop looking and they will appear....errr...the reality is, there are a lot of people who never get their fairy tale ending and movies and tv's hammer it home that unless you are in a happy long lasting marriage and pop out a few kids, your life is absolutely positively meaningless and all single people are ever, is pathetic and lonely. Ouch! Also not true for every person.
7. You can change your partner into the person you want
So what if movie guy has slept with every girl in the office or the movie girl is anti-social and doesn't like to hang with big crowds. Just by introducing these people to "the one," they will change every single character flaw about themselves to make themselves the eventual perfect match for the protagonist. All they have to do is show up, decide to date them after a few quirky interactions, and then they realize that changing everything about who they are is both easy and something they are willing to do at the drop of a hat to please a woman/man.
8. Your friends/family are super involved in your relationship... and you want them to be
From even before you meet, your movie friends/fam are super involved in every detail of your love life and movie you enjoys that about them. They tell you what's wrong with you, how to fix you, how to hook up, how to date, guide you every single time you have a fight right back to her or him, and then when the going gets rough, they are super instrumental in getting you back together and make sure everything works out in the end, because relationships that go south, always work out in the end with the help of course of your movie fam/friends. Um, friends and fam are great in small doses, but if anyone's friends and fam were that involved in every second of their love life, you'd probably at some point very soon, be like back off or feel like they were treating you like a baby incapable of dealing with your own life or making your own decisions.
9.Everyone is super romantic literally all the time
Hey, don't get me wrong, I love a big romantic gesture, but movie characters go way over the top with it all the time with everything. Most people go out to dinner every once in a while, or go on a cool vacation, or maybe do the helicopter ride over a volcano like once in their lives, but like every day, every week? Who has the time or money to do all of that? Plus, why are the characters always home when the lover shows up. If you randomly decide to do something romantic on a Monday, why would anyone be home at 1pm when you decided to do it?
10. Moving on after a break-up happens same day
Does that not strike you as suspicious if your friend who was married with kids for say 10 years, gets divorced and shows up literally the next day with a new boyfriend? I think they call that "Hamlet." Tv makes it seem like all one needs to do to forget the last however long they were in a relationship is just wake up and immediately move on. Even if the relationship sucked, post break-up most people are at minimum, a little bit raw. Hello, you were sharing your life with someone, living with them, maybe had some kids with them. Starting something the next day when you haven't sorted through any of the drama, doesn't really happen like that unless you dated someone on the short term.
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