Okay well. . .it is very rare to go to the cinema and see a flick that actually causes one. . . physical pain, but Jurassic World finds a way! It is so bad on so many fronts. Bad acting, bad writing, bad dialogue, bad script, weird special effects, uninteresting characters. . .well, except "Blue".
Of course, most of it is just "Running from Dinosaurs Part 9". But then there is even worse. We are tricked into think the plot is about rescuing dinosaurs. But nah, it is basically the same movie as the last. It is basically, "Lets build a Superpredator part II". And of course, the superpredator again, is super evil.
The movie tries to convey some very important lessons.
1. Dinosaur cruelty is bad. Evil humans always torture dinosaurs and make fun of them.
2. Amazingly dinosaurs only eat evil people. They might try to eat good humans every once in a while but they can only eat evil people successfully.
3. Running from dinosaurs can be fun!
4. Blue needs his own movie. One where he can play a covert CIA agent or an undercover detective. And he can infiltrate some evil dinosaur organization and find a way to take it down from the inside. The next flick I predict will be called, "Jurassic World 2, Blue The Loose Cannon Dinosaur!"
5. It is way sadder when dinosaurs die than when humans do.
6. Hollywood will put anything on screen if they think it will make money. It doesn't matter how pointless or weird the plot.
And you GaGers will love it. As much as you guys hate Hillary Clinton, they sneak a line in to piss off trump supporters. One of the antagonists in the movie calls one of the female hero characters, "Such a nasty woman". That makes her entirely sympathetic. You guys will be cheering for the bad guys all movie long.
Oh, this movie has it all. You know you are watching a bad flick when you are in tears from laughing during the movie's supposedly most emotionally compelling scenes.
That's right ladies and gentlemen, Jurassic World. . .ZERO STARS!!!!
If you are a masochist, I guarantee multiple orgasms! Go see it now!