Why do people listen to sad songs when they're sad?

Question

I've listened to many sad songs until last year when I was dealing with lot of stuff. Heartbreak, betrayal, alone (away from loved ones), etc.. You name it. But what I realized was after some time is that it does not make me feel better at all. It made me feel even more miserable than ever. 😕 So, I avoid listening to them and prefer to hear some happy or some soothing songs instead.

Do you actually feel better when you listen to sad songs or do you feel worse than ever like I do? Those who prefers to listen to some sad songs even though it doesn't help- Why do you guys/girls do it?

higher_than_u · Accepted Answer

I believe it does help. Dramatic and sad situations happen in life and there is a certain amount of dealing with it and time you must spend thinking about it and having it tear you apart before you can start to move past it. Listening to sad songs could be a form of forcing yourself to feel your pain and thus help pull yourself forward through the whole acceptance and grieving and healing and life lesson learning process. Not only that, but in the absolute worst of events,, a good example being like losing your significant other, the worst events that leave you inconsolable for a long time, nothing is going to feel good at all especially listening to something happy, sure it will help you avoid breaking down and could be necessary in the office at work but when you are alone it would be a good thing to hear something sad. But when I say good thing I mean it as the best you could make yourself feel by giving self love almost like you are your only friend sitting balling in the corner and hugging yourself saying it's okay and you love yourself and the only way to get to feel that way is in absolute devastation and during the climaxes of such hard times, one of the strongest external inputs that invoke this feeling are sad sad songs. And its these lonely experiences that you have deliberately put yourself into by amplifying the pain by putting on sad songs that really actually serve to make you feel what you need to feel in order to have these hard times or you could even call them sessions, begin to become weaker and weaker each time because when you push yourself or allow yourself to be pushed into your deepest form of emotional pain with aid the aid of sad songs, you can only feel so low so many times before you find that you just can't seem to feel as sad listening to these songs as you had during the beginning when the hurt was fresh. Whether it's you getting over and past your situation or just learning to deal with it better, these songs have no doubt served as a primary external source of sad mental input driving you down as far as you could be until sooner than if not, that downwardness gets higher and higher as you start healing. I'm sorry I really dont know how to stop because it's so hard to try to explain such a broad topic because everyone's situations are so dynamic and maybe I am just trying to explain it to myself rather than anyone else and the effects of not being satisfied are these run on sentences you have read aaaaall the way up to this point now so yes I will have to just cut it off then. Thank you

FatherJack · Accepted Answer

Possibly to get the sadness out their system quicker , grief is extra painful and not easy to manage for one example , and not only confined to humans , I am having another wave of greatly missing my beloved ferrets , first the mother , Miss Woolworth , named for her fluffy , soft beautiful Angora coat , lost her to accidental death July last year. Also & miss her greatly , just as much too , had Wool's 1/2 polecat hybrid , cuddly chunky girl , Polefat... this song Forever Autumn reminded me of them...

https://www.youtube.com/embed/dJbp_GjD9VE

The late , beloved Miss Woolworth & Lucia

Here was our beloved Wool with my daughter Lucia. Adorable as she was , she was a formidable rat killer , and formed a hunting tag team with her wild girl Polefat.. and sorted a rat problem caused by former neighbours.

Karin_Anna · Accepted Answer

I think that when I listened to sad music, I was looking for familiarity and a way to make sense and cope with my dark Passenger.

At some point my life changed for the better, my musical tastes did naturally change with it. If I were to listen to some of those sad songs now, I still feel the emotion but no longer the suffering.

A lot of music being releas d these days are for a different demographic, I am out of touch with it.

I since found other music that I like listening to, most cases I don't understand because the language. Doesn't detract from the beautiful singing voice and composition.

AllieOops · Accepted Answer

Because sad songs say so much.

dangerDoge · Answer

For me, I think it’s that happy music feels kind of, I don't know, fake whenever I’m feeling pretty down. It’s hard to connect with something having a completely different vibe than my mood. Ultimately, it makes me feel kind of more isolated in a way. I can kind of relate to like if you are a person hanging out with a group of people and they’re all friends but you’re on the far outskirts of the friend group. It’s not the most pleasant feeling.

Also, who knows if it’s intentional or not, but I do think a lot of sad sounding music has a sort of uplifting aspect to it. I would argue that it’s sort of the sad aspect that lets me connect to it, but it’s the uplifting part of the message that lets me feel a little better. For instance, one that comes to mind 5:12 AM by The Novelists. It’s about feelings of loneliness, but the idea of ‘longing’ or romance seems powerful, and that gives it an oddly positive vibe to me. The music itself matches it, because it starts soft and becomes louder by the end. The dynamics like that are something more found in sadder music than happy.

That being said, I also tend to listen to sad music regardless whether I’m sad or not. I like the sound of a minor key, and it works great for a lot of rock/metal. I’ve found that for writing music, it actually often makes a song feel less cliche if you give a twist to it, and often the twist is pretty negative. (I. e. “I love you” as a song makes the lyrics often very cliche. “I love you, but I feel I’m not good enough for you” is less cliche.) That kind of ties into it feeling not as fake, since the dark aspect feels more realistic, and that’s more relatable.

Ad_Quid_Orator · Answer

in my opinion, it's like talking about sad things when you're sad. Talking about those feelings when you're going through hard times makes you sadder in that moment but it's also a release and it helps you feel better for while afterward. But only talking about those feelings when you're going through a hard time is just going to make things worse and worse. Similarly, listening to sad songs every now and then when you're going through a hard time can help you come to terms with your feelings and "sort them out" but only listening to them is only going to make you more depressed.

mk200195 · Answer

Here's my two cents.

Grieving is the body’s way of translating bound up emotion due to trauma into assimilated thought. Hearing depressing music gives us “permission” to feel the sadness, or “validation,” and thus lets us process it and get it over with. People who are uncomfortable with other’s feelings often try to prematurely end this process, but this simply creates a backlog of negative feeling which may, at a later time, come out in a more destructive way.

-Asca- · Answer

Because they fit the mood. When I'm happy I don't listen to sad songs so naturally when I'm sad I don't listen to happy songs either. I don't listen to fast hard stuff when I want to just calm down etc.
I'd compare it to waking up. Imagine you've slept for 2 hours, you're terribly tired and feel like you want to die. Listening to happy songs in this scenario would compare to jumping out of bed and doing jumping jacks followed by a freezing cold shower. Will that get you awake? Probably. But it feels wrong, counterintuitive and and won't be very pleasant. Staying in bed for some time woud be my choice.
When I'm sad I just don't want to listen to happy songs, even if they may help overcome the sadness. I WANT to listen to sad songs. And usually they make me feel better, because they help me face my sadness and just the joy of music that fits my mood perfectly makes me feel better. It always does, not just when I'm sad.

imthatsteve · Answer

Oooh i just watched a cool youtube video by joe scott called "how music hacks the brain" or something similar, in it he mentioned that when people listen to sad songs they dont feel sad. Its more like appreciative. Like your passively observing a beautiful drama or something. I dont recall the exact wording but i think they used mris and questionaires to get inside the heads of people while listening to sad songs.

I think it makes you almost sentimental but thats not quite the right word.

lightbulb27 · Answer

Because it feels good to feel our feelings when we are like that.

It's like realizing someone else went through this, what we feel is real, and makes us feel comfort.

As well, there are "melancholy" personalities who looove to feel sad when they are sad.

It's ok for a while, but look for the lessons and challenge yourself, set new goals... that's the way out... there's rocket fuel in all those feelings and hormones!

aWes0MeNeSs · Answer

People listen to them because they can relate to them, and people love things they can relate to, especially if they feel the people around them don't understand.

I'm not as big on music as a whole as I used to be and mostly use it as just background music, but I've listened to both some songs I could relate to when I'm upset about things, and some that I just really enjoyed regardless of what they're about.

dmgstarfleet · Answer

I think as a purgative-the heavy grief helps you recover faster-like vomiting-once where you really empty out down to your toes or multiple times. Not pleasant but I'd rather get it out soon as possible rather than prolong the misery. Like ripping off the bandaide or trying to slowly pull it off.

proNutro · Answer

I listen to sad songs in general. I love how descriptive people can get when making sad songs. Like they pour their heart into their work. I’ve heard it’s good to listen to sad songs when you’re sad so that you can cry it out and then fee better🤷🏼‍♀️

I-am-a-nobody · Answer

Don't you know misery loves company?
I like to hear someone else suffer.

From "Somebody Done Somebody Wrong Song"

So please play for me a sad melody
So sad that it makes everybody cry-y-y-y
A real hurting song about a love that's gone wrong
Cause I don't want to cry all alone...

Like one who takes off a garment on a cold day, or like vinegar on soda,
Is he who sings songs to a troubled heart.
- Proverbs 25:20

sensible27 · Answer

You want to thinkz that's what your evolutionary reaction of being sad promotes you to do. Sad slow songs help you think and almost sort of give you room to imagine. If their lyrics speak to you, that's what you think about. I don't think there's a coockie cutter solution for what is happening since the boundaries and definitions are hard to establish in these types of cases
...

Shamalien · Answer

Why do people listen to angry songs when they are angry? Ever been super pissed, and then had a sickeningly sweet, happy song play? As perception is relative, it simply makes us feel even more angry in contrast.

So if I'm sad and I play a happy song, that happy song almost serves to define just how sad I really am. If I listen to something sad, once again, since perception is relative, it almost feels as though this is okay what I'm feeling, that person singing / playing their instrument is feeling this way as well. You feel like they understand, and that makes you feel better. You aren't the first to have gone through this.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Powfu - Death Bed (Lyrics)
I like this one just found it by accident and the singer is Powfu... Usually, when I'm sad I listen to something upbeat and somewhat sad and I cry and relieve the sadness I know how you feel (( Hugs ))👍🙏👼😇

Aakash_Hangargi · Answer

I listen to sad songs, even i didn't have a breakup, because I Didnot have a relationship but sometimes when I hmm and sing those sad songs mostly I singly few lines of sad songs songs itself my friends sat without break up and you sing with the feel of pain you would be depressed if you have a heart break like you won't come back from the dark zone it's just that pain attracts me i mean the emotion of sadness

Grond21 · Answer

Because in the moment, there is a catharsis to having your feelings reflected back at you by someone else. It's why they say that misery loves company. Because you want to share your feelings with someone else, and music gives you that sense of significance in that emotion.

But you're right, with negative emotions, it only makes them stronger. So it's nice while the song is playing, but worse in the long run

jasontheasian · Answer

From my own experience, listening to sad music is a way for me to have something relatable be talked or sung about. It doesn't directly make you happy but it makes you more emotionally vulnerable, which ends with crying and letting all of those pent up emotions out. And after you released all of those negative thoughts in your head through crying them out through music, you will feel a bit better. But thats also just my personal experience so i can't speak for others.

JimboGB · Answer

Reflecting on the sad memories that the music evokes with a message they wanted to relate to. They seek this kind of identification when they want to re-experience those same emotions. Which can help distract the negative emotion from yourself onto another - the character in the song or someone you might know. It is a mental trigger which is a process of cognitive reappraisal.

bluehen46 · Answer

Great question. I do too. Some times its to get deeper into thought at least for me. I actually have a play list for when my mother and father passed on ( different times natural causes)

RingOfFire · Answer

Listening to songs that reinforce your feelings makes you feel connected... like you are not alone feeling that way... like someone else also has felt the same thing. People like feeling connected.

KeziL · Answer

What makes me feel better when I'm sad is a good cry. I want to let my feelings out and deal with them for a bit, and then I'll talk to a friend or sleep it off and feel better.

depressoexpresso · Answer

Sad songs let you vent. Psychologically, crying makes hormones that calm you down, rather the angst of holding on to those tears

ChiTown33 · Answer

Misery loves company. Some people like to wallow in their self pity. I've been guilty of that when i was younger.
But that was when i believed love was nice and neat and pure. Years of living beats rhat out if you. Lol

Phoenix98 · Answer

I tend to listen to things like Metal when I'm angry or sad to be honest with you not so much sad songs even if the lyrics are sad the music tends to be more upbeat.

Ezzai · Answer

To me listen to sad song make me let out of my feelings because I always hide my feelings from anyone

Branden315 · Answer

Misery loves company, for me it shows I'm not alone and gives me an excape... Plus happy music just seems patronising. Songs of true love makes me feel I've truly failed

StephenCF · Answer

I feel worse suppressing the tears, so I take every opportunity to pry them out with sad music until I’m all cried-out and ready to move on emotionally 😭🎧

Jjpayne · Answer

I personally don't listen to sad songs that often but elton johns rocket man... It's kinda sad but I still like it

AmandaYVR · Answer

Sometimes it's good to sit in that feeling, and really think about why, and what. Music helps to do this.

bodukem · Answer

When you are happy you hear the music, when you are sad you understand the lyrics. When you're sad you want something to relate to and music is easy to relate to

CHARismatic110 · Answer

I listen to music to fit my mood. And sometimes I need to release and certain songs just bring the waterworks. by the way, hi Genie!!!

JSmuve · Answer

It's because it resonates with them. The sad songs speak to the sad emptiness that they're feeling. Like it understands them and knows what they're going through.

Chocolate_shortyy · Answer

Well, personally I think its because the the lyrics relate to what they've been through so it make make them feel a bit better knowing they're not the only person going through a bad time.

The_little_gay_robin · Answer

Sometimes you just need to cry and admit to yourself the pain you're feeling, but for whatever reason, pride, fear, habit, you keep it bottled up. A sad song that says the things you need to hear can relieve a lot of pressure

nodnol32 · Answer

Because thats when you can relate to and understand the lyrics and indirectly appreciate the thought behind a sad song.

MissGeorgia · Answer

Because there are some songs that put your feelings into words when you can't, I guess

MiamiMadness · Answer

I don't know I'd find it more depressing but I guess you don't want to hear upbeat kpop when you're going through some shit

LEADFOOTboi · Answer

i like to listen to them because they... help identify problems... possibly problems that are under the rug of your mind/heart... helps me deal with them and get some tears out to move foreward

manthan_7 · Answer

I think if you're in a bad mood then you should to those things which make you happy than sad. According to the law of attraction if you'll keep thinking about sadness you'll attract it to you faster. And listening to bad songs will lead you to visualize more negative thoughts. So not only everyone in the world who react same should leave this habit. Always pray for good. Do the good you'll receive good.

Dnice1 · Answer

I usually listen to sad songs to let the tears fall out then after I stop crying I listen to happy and uplifting songs to cheer me back up.

Thatsamazing · Answer

Well... I mean, the same reason why we listen to happy songs when we're happy. It just makes sense, you know?

Unit1 · Answer

Music therapy. It helps processing what we are going through and feel through it all. Letting it all out to eventually move forward.

Snakeyes7 · Answer

Kinda the same reason you would be willing to watch a sad TV show or something. It hurts but you can’t deny that it is well written enough to make you cry so it’s hard to hate it as a result.

ccal28 · Answer

It’s often cathartic, feeling like someone is right by your side feeling the pain you feel now. It helps us to not feel alone and there’s comfort in that.

TJFreshman22 · Answer

Helps them empathize, and allows people to know and feel cared for that some other fantastic people out there are going through the same things and you'll get through it together.

chriscdi · Answer

because hearing someone else have similar problems helps i guess

s2firestar · Answer

Because they are stupid? Or maybe because the sad songs reflect their inner state? I don't know. I always listen to upbeat music.

ryancg · Answer

I do some of my best thinking when I'm in that headspace, so I listen to sad music to kinda keep it going.

namelessking1 · Answer

Surely it does make sadnes go faster in my chase, i realize that sadnes is always there in soul like a need sometimes for it

Dooda · Answer

I start to feel like what I'm listening to! I prefer to listen to calming instrumental and nature sounds, but spending time in the wild is the most effective therapy. There is no necessary music.

Arjunaguy · Answer

I have never done it I usually talk to people to deal with it. But I guess most people can relate their situation to the sad sons that's why they do it.

Agem123 · Answer

I do it cause I can relate and helps me cry (after crying I feel kinda better somehow)

Anonymous · Answer

i like sad songs when i'm not sad. But when i'm having a hard time with something, I'm like you. I much prefer happy songs or it's just way too depressing

SarahNiemann · Answer

Because misery loves company… Even when they’re alone!

AkshiJanjua · Answer

i first listen to sad songs which helps to acknowledge the sadness then happy songs which helps to lift up the mood

OpenNudist · Answer

You Individually do not know a Soldier's life do You? I am sorry for that.

Maninderdeepsharma · Answer

I don't know but i listen to pop music when i m sad or motivational songs. Becz if a person is already sad he/she get more upset. Isi lia mujhe inspirational songs hi ache lgte hain rather then sad one.

huhnanii · Answer

It's not good to suppress the tears so it's better to bring yourself down using sad music, cry it all out and be perfectly fine after.

Midnight_Kiss · Answer

Because you can feel the music as well as hear it due to the lyrics being relatable at the time.

mrgspoter · Answer

It's with my mood I feel bit sadder but then I chear up n put something on to be more happy too.

Tomsta · Answer

Crying is a natural way to release any pent up emotions, if your feeling sad crying is a good way to let those emotions out

Why do people listen to sad songs when they're sad?

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