I couldn't agree more. And, in yet another parallel, I am exactly like you. Child-free, happy, unthreatened, content, and fulfilled. Nice take, my GT sis. ;) :)
You are very welcome. You know, it's amazing how many souls look outside themselves for love, fulfillment, or even security. I'm even single currently, on top of being child-free, and am still utterly happy. Would it be nice to share the journey? Sure. Do I look forward to it? Yes, and eagerly. But it would not make me more complete.
That's about how I felt when I was single too. The primary relationship I had was with myself, and if I wasn't happy I wouldn't be good for anyone - not in a relationship nor as a parent to a child.
That's true, but somehow, when this comes up (me not having the desire) the onus is up to me to learn to want them. Or an excuse to think of me as a monster.
People automatically think such horrible things like if I *were* to be a mother I'll be the kind that hates her kids. Or I hate them so much I'm not even having them to begin with. No one thinks of the right-now which is I don't hate my future kids, they don't exist and won't exist to have feelings for.
I do not have children. My first wife could not have children and we briefly considered adoption but did not pursue that. I wish that I had not married her, that I had met a better woman, and had children. . . but that is not what happened. So, I am also childfree. I certainly appreciate the advantages of not having children and I know how having children can completely absorb someone's life.
There's always someone who knows better than you how you should live your life. I am 60 years old, never been hospitalized, have no serious illnesses, take one medication for allergies, and look young for my age. I constantly meet women who want to teach me to live a "better" lifestyle (turkey bacon, tofu burgers, and a bucketful of vitamins and nutritional supplements) like them, but they have big medical problems.
I'm with you! I'm almost 41 and still happy to be childfree! I'm fortunate that no one questions or harasses me about it. I know what most CF people go through. My sister decided to be CF too actually. I shared my "Childfree and Loving It" b
If you can find a copy of Why Don't You Have Kids? it's a must-read! It's probably the best book on childfree lifestyles I've ever read. It's easy to read and has tons of information and tips on how to flip your thinking from feeling bad or guilty to feeling better about your decision. Also, the what-to-says are in there too. Check your library though. Some childfree books sometimes are misleading and will focus on being "childless" - for the woman or couples who do want kids but can't have them, and will offer tips on adoption, fostering, and step-parenting - things I didn't care to know anything about.
No kidding! Authors are using the term "childfree" to mean "childless"? You'd think someone along the way would know better. Thanks for the book recommendation!
Ah yes, a comment to counter self-righteousness when self-righteousness is what we childfree deal with all the time. If you read all of this myTake, then thanks for your time. :)
I could see your attitude show through, especially with your photos you chose. Instead of defending your choice you're trying to show your's is superior but hiding it a little. I'm tired of all of the my takes were one side or the other secretly bashes each other while trying to appear "clean".
They're called "myTakes" for a reason. It's my take. Write one yourself if you're so inclined, or simply avoid reading them if they irritate you so much. This particular one clearly isn't meant for you, it's to help those who struggle with accepting their choice to be childfree.
I totally get your point, but I couldn't be with someone who doesn't wants to have kids. You know I'm very family oriented, that's the way I was raised, we are a close family, and I want maybe 2-3 kids one day.
Deciding to be childless is the most selfish and destructive thing you can do. The fact that so many women make that choice is proof that we live in a sick society that is destined to fall apart.
Whoops! I just scanned your profile to notice that you basically carpet bomb this site with your one-note-tune religious and bigoted bullshit when you answer questions and myTakes. Thats two minutes of my life I'll never get back, reading your nonsense and replying to you, hence why you and I will be ending this discussion on this, and every other topic. Bye.
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I couldn't agree more. And, in yet another parallel, I am exactly like you. Child-free, happy, unthreatened, content, and fulfilled. Nice take, my GT sis. ;) :)
Thanks, my friend!
You are very welcome. You know, it's amazing how many souls look outside themselves for love, fulfillment, or even security. I'm even single currently, on top of being child-free, and am still utterly happy. Would it be nice to share the journey? Sure. Do I look forward to it? Yes, and eagerly. But it would not make me more complete.
That's about how I felt when I was single too. The primary relationship I had was with myself, and if I wasn't happy I wouldn't be good for anyone - not in a relationship nor as a parent to a child.
You should remind people that there is something worse than not having children, and that is someone having a child who doesn't want a child.
OR
Every child deserves to be wanted, and I don't want children.
That's true, but somehow, when this comes up (me not having the desire) the onus is up to me to learn to want them. Or an excuse to think of me as a monster.
People automatically think such horrible things like if I *were* to be a mother I'll be the kind that hates her kids. Or I hate them so much I'm not even having them to begin with. No one thinks of the right-now which is I don't hate my future kids, they don't exist and won't exist to have feelings for.
I do not have children. My first wife could not have children and we briefly considered adoption but did not pursue that. I wish that I had not married her, that I had met a better woman, and had children. . . but that is not what happened. So, I am also childfree. I certainly appreciate the advantages of not having children and I know how having children can completely absorb someone's life.
There's always someone who knows better than you how you should live your life. I am 60 years old, never been hospitalized, have no serious illnesses, take one medication for allergies, and look young for my age. I constantly meet women who want to teach me to live a "better" lifestyle (turkey bacon, tofu burgers, and a bucketful of vitamins and nutritional supplements) like them, but they have big medical problems.
"There's always someone who knows better than you how you should live your life."
This is so true.
I'm with you! I'm almost 41 and still happy to be childfree! I'm fortunate that no one questions or harasses me about it. I know what most CF people go through. My sister decided to be CF too actually. I shared my "Childfree and Loving It" b
book with her and she made the same decision I did! Yay!
(Is there an edit option for comments?)
If you can find a copy of Why Don't You Have Kids? it's a must-read! It's probably the best book on childfree lifestyles I've ever read. It's easy to read and has tons of information and tips on how to flip your thinking from feeling bad or guilty to feeling better about your decision. Also, the what-to-says are in there too. Check your library though. Some childfree books sometimes are misleading and will focus on being "childless" - for the woman or couples who do want kids but can't have them, and will offer tips on adoption, fostering, and step-parenting - things I didn't care to know anything about.
No kidding! Authors are using the term "childfree" to mean "childless"? You'd think someone along the way would know better. Thanks for the book recommendation!
That's cool and all you decided not to have kids. Good on you for making your own life choices.
Now stop acting so self-righteous about it.
Ah yes, a comment to counter self-righteousness when self-righteousness is what we childfree deal with all the time. If you read all of this myTake, then thanks for your time. :)
I could see your attitude show through, especially with your photos you chose. Instead of defending your choice you're trying to show your's is superior but hiding it a little. I'm tired of all of the my takes were one side or the other secretly bashes each other while trying to appear "clean".
They're called "myTakes" for a reason. It's my take. Write one yourself if you're so inclined, or simply avoid reading them if they irritate you so much. This particular one clearly isn't meant for you, it's to help those who struggle with accepting their choice to be childfree.
If anything, it's the people who idolize having kids who act self righteous.
If you are planning on being single and being a cougar... And doing whatever the fuck you want then I guess it week work for you very well...
But I will never be with a women who doesn't want a baby someday in future...
Even right now I don't want a baby but someday I will...
Where exactly did you find single and cougar in this take?
Your attitude is exactly what she's talking about. Shaming tactics used on a person who doesn't conform to your narrow views.
@MaskedSanity - 😒😕 fillerrrr
I totally get your point, but I couldn't be with someone who doesn't wants to have kids. You know I'm very family oriented, that's the way I was raised, we are a close family, and I want maybe 2-3 kids one day.
Thank you! You've put into words how I feel exactly!
Thank you :D
I don't see a problem here, though, I don't plan on becoming a dad (willingly) myself, so might not be entirely objective.
Myabe in 20 years when I have nothing to do with my time, there's too little time right now, 24 hours a day barely cuts it.
Deciding to be childless is the most selfish and destructive thing you can do. The fact that so many women make that choice is proof that we live in a sick society that is destined to fall apart.
Did you even read this myTake?
Whoops! I just scanned your profile to notice that you basically carpet bomb this site with your one-note-tune religious and bigoted bullshit when you answer questions and myTakes. Thats two minutes of my life I'll never get back, reading your nonsense and replying to you, hence why you and I will be ending this discussion on this, and every other topic. Bye.
This was just great. Absolutely great.
Thank you :)
You're welcome. Enjoy your childfree life! 😄
Simply wonderful 😍
My Dad said I'll change my mind about it when I am older, I won't.
Mentalities change. Even if you think you are entirely certain about it now that doesn't mean you'll look at it the same way until you die.
My little sister was born when I was 12, now 9 years later after knowing what it is like raising a kid I never want to do it again.