Why Can't You Just Be Happy For Me?

[Anonymous]

I love those pure and joyful moments in life where someone is sharing some really happy news like the announcement of a pregnancy or engagement, or the buying of a new house, or graduating from high school, or on GaG when you see community members really rallying behind someone and supporting and uplifting them, but then in real life or on GAG, you get those people who always have to crap on your parade. They feel like either they must be negative for seemingly no reason, or they just have to ruin everyone's good vibe by saying something nasty. Have you wondered why they just can't seem to ever be positive?

1. They need to make the moment about them

When you have good news or something to share, a moment becomes about you and your life and that moment of happiness. For someone else who may be struggling or may be a complete attention whore, it's almost too much to bear that the focus is on why you're so great at the moment or that the focus is not on them, so they attempt to steal the moment by being super negative because they know that will give them attention even if it is solely negative while simultaneously stealing your thunder. The whole moment for them is about exercising a negative sense of control over you.

2. They are jealous

Jealous people cannot stand when someone else is successful or has what they think they too should have just by virtue of being them. Putting you down makes them feel self-important and seeks to demean your accomplishments and all the hard work it took you to get there. By saying sabotaging thoughts out loud, like, you only got the job because you're a man or I don't know why he likes you because you're not that pretty is their attempt to put you down while trying to elevate themselves.

3. They are bitter about their own lives

Sometimes negative comments and actions really and truly aren't even about you at all. If someone's life is sad, or they're bitter, angry, etc. about their own lives, they often deflect onto others. The, "if I can't be happy, no one else can," mentality. These people want everybody to feel their pain no matter who they hurt in the process because in a sadistic way, it makes them feel that the world is evened out if everyone is miserable.

4. They were never your friend

Sometimes we mistake some of our "friends" for being our supporters and our allies which they actually are not. Instead we find out the hard way that they are self-serving and only ever want to be the alpha in your relationship to the determent of everyone around them. They want you to always be in their corner, and to support them and when you don't, they make you feel like crap, but when the situation is reversed, all they offer you is negativity.

5. They were raised to be negative

Whenever something positive happened in that person's life, they were put down and were never allowed to feel happy about it, and so cycle after cycle of repetition of this, it became the norm for them and so perhaps unknowingly when they have kids or other family, they continue to do the same because perhaps they were told that being positive or happy about life accomplishments was just bragging or uncalled for or improper.

So in these moments when you find yourself confronted by someone who for whatever reason can't seem to be happy for you or ever happy for you, don't let them steal your moment. Saying a phrase like, "I'm sorry you personally feel that way, but we are here to celebrate my graduation today and the hard work I've put into getting to this point," bring the focus back to you where it should be. If they insist on being negative, consider distancing yourself from them or removing them so you can continue to be able to live in the moment of joy and happiness. At the end of the day no matter how hard you try, you personally cannot make everyone happy, so never let someone else's negativity and displeasure with their own situation influence how you feel about your own.

[Junlian]

The thing is to surround ourself with people who is seeking peace, love, and joy. Love as in being a good or nice person at heart not for the reward. anything after that is a waste of time. Just saying. Good my take though.

[myTake Owner]

I agree. I think in this culture, a lot of people are just caught up with gathering up as many "friends" as they can. They don't really seek out quality friends, just quantity and then are surprised that these "friends" aren't good for them at all.