This may as well be written by me because I can relate and I agree to all of your points. I can't stand babies- human babies, but animals babies, I love love love. Like almost any animal- cats, dogs, crocodiles, monkeys, lions, tigers etc. But then again, I do love animals in general so... Anyway, my goal is to have a successful career and a dog or a cat. What could be better than that? :D
I completely agree with all of those! I really really don't want children... i don't even like being around them, for every 100 children there's maybe 1 that i find cute! Give me kittens or puppies any day! <3
I will never understand how some people fail to understand the choice of not having children. I personally can't wait a whole bunch, but I absolutely understand how some people don't see the appeal of it. Although I do think some of the teenagers and young people who are absolutely against having children right now will change, since for some reason it's trendy to hate children right now.
That's like saying it's trendy to be lgbt these days...
No, it's just becoming a more acceptable thing to be open about. People who don't want kids have always existed, but they didn't really have much choice but to bend to social norms or risk being outcast. Same with gays.
I agree wholeheartedly. Kids are stressful and I cannot handle that stress. Yeah, I'm 16. I also don't want to adopt or do the deeds that grant children. I could not have said it better myself.
I don't want kids, don't need em' and they're not for everyone.
Don't agree with me? You don't have to. It's MY choice. Don't worry about what I'M doing with MY life. WORRY about YOU and what YOU are doing... cause I sure as helk ain't.
Yeah exactly it's so annoying when people say that, I NEVER Want kids not in a million years. Successful career, freedom, lots of money and doing whatever you want is way better and also because of some other reasons but yasss I agree with all your points!
You are not heartless for not wanting kids. If you won't enjoy being a parent, choosing to not have kids is the most caring thing you can do. It sounds like you do love your niece, so totally not heartless.
It's not at all hard to be child free for a long time. I think it catches up to you later... when you're 35, 40, 50... your friends and coworkers all have families, and you go home to your spouse and a dog?
Good points, personally I want kids but it's definitely none of my business to try and convince other people they want kids. It just seems like a bizarre thing to try and argue with people.
Well I like to present the viewpoint of, "How about we consider not having kids", because a lot of people grow up thinking that is just a natural progression in life. It is a lot more of a commitment timewise, moneywise, and everything-wise, than a lot of younger people think. Some people come to the conclusion to not have kids when they see friends getting married and having kids, and they see how 24/7 it is. So, if someone really thinks kids are for them after giving it some time and thinking it through, then fine.
@ArrowheadSW Yes, I agree. Nobody should have kids just because they can. I am working two jobs and my boyfriend is working overtime so that we can save enough money to afford to have a kid. We put most of our extra money towards paying off our condo, and once that's paid off our expenses are much less and I can quit one of my jobs so one of us is always here with the kid.
My applaud to you, I am exactly the same. Likable and totally relatable myTake. Never want kids and am also planning on getting my tubes tied or something of the like.
No sense being with someone if your visions for your life don't align. Took me a while but I eventually found a partner who doesn't want kids and I'm grateful I never buckled under the pressure and stuck with a guy who thought he could change my mind.
Wait.. are you talking about your gf? I thought you were talking about the MyTake author. My bad!
I think it's something you should talk to her about tho if you guys are serious about each other. If she does want kids someday there is no point in wasting each other's time and getting yourselves more emotionally attached. It'll just hurt more when you inevitably break up.
The "you won't know until you try" one, wowza. Terrible idea :o I think it's awesome people decide they don't want kids and stick to it, ya know, why bring unwanted people in the world.
I don't think I want kids either. It costs too much time and money. People who say these things are just trying to convince themselves that kids are worth having.
Nah. If you don't have enough money to raise a child, it describes how serious and honest you were with your life. You spoiled it and hence, you're someone I'll call a broke! Failure.
I'd say that someone being wise enough to recognize that they are not able to provide financially for a kid and deciding not to is a smart and responsible person.
Not having a tonne of money doesn't make a person a failure. There are a lot of professions out there that are underpaid and that people choose for other reasons. Social workers, for example. Or perhaps they're already caring for or contributing financially to the care of an aging parent or sick relative. Or they're an artist who's work hasn't caught the right eyes.
Those people are making a responsible decision by not bringing a child into precarious financial circumstances and ought to be lauded for their decision.
@Sara413 I'm allergic to average people. Be successful or gtfo. I'm not "judging" her decision. I was making a statement that one should earn that much amount of money at least. If THAT'S your excuse, then okay, I don't know who you are.
Except this has nothing to do with success. A person who doesn't would only need to make enough to support themselves. Aiming to make enough money to support kids even though you don't want any would be completely unnecessary.
@LadyTerror It's pretty easy to earn enough money to run a family. Here in India (despite being the most povert country), people earn that much to feed their 3-7 kids! Your country has 10 times more per capita income too.
If you are making an "excuse" that you "can't" earn that much, it really depicts how horrible your lifestyle is.
Now you're going off topic. It doesn't matter whether you can or can't because it's absolutely pointless in the first place. Majority of the people who don't want kids wouldn't be aiming for it.
And I'm not really sure what the prices are there, but it costs a lot to raise children here. The average cost for raising a child here till adulthood is approximately $245,340. That's enough for the average person to support themselves for at least five years.
@LadyTerror How am I off-topic? THAT'S exactly my point. You can't even earn that much? (as you said you're not aiming for it). The aim itself is pretty normal in the first place. It is not a strenuous task.
It is about half to one third here but you earn ten times more and Indians procreate more children than you plus, you have better facilities (health, electricity etc.) + most children start doing some kind of work there with studies, but here, parents pay till their children complete their education and get settled, they don't do any king of job along with studies. So... ?
But why aim for that in the first place? Most of us already know what we want in life and anything more than that is just unnecessary. If that's how you define success, are you saying that an artist who's famous in his country is a big failure just because he's not globally famous (even if he doesn't want to be)?
And yes we might have better facilities but those actually cost a lot. The US has one of the most expensive healthcare systems in the world and even the gas prices are really expensive. 90% of kids here go to public high schools here which are free, but private colleges here cost $31,231 every year on average. That's more than half of what the average American makes.
@LadyTerror I'm not saying you have to earn money. Everybody has one's own definition of success. The point was, if you are saying that I don't want kids just BECAUSE I can't pay his/her expenses, THEN you're a failure. If you just don't want them because you're scared or just want to live that way, then it's okay.
I think the point of the take was that children are going to take up some of your finances along with the rest of the problems that already come with them. You could be using that money for something else instead.
@LadyTerror "1. What can be more beautiful than the sound of laughing children? Silence and money." I don't think you really don't know in what tone the OP made that point.
Using that money for something else? What exactly do you want? I mean, it could be an excuse for a person who was born in a poor family and is handicapped. But if you have food to eat, home to live and clothes to wear with a healthy body, you're just being materialistic.
Doesn't necessarily mean you're being materialistic. Yes even if you do have food and other necessary expenses, you could spend it for other stuff that's you don't need but can be useful. Or even stuff like like games and computer parts (that's what I would spend on). I mean, it's your money so you can do whatever you want with it.
@LadyTerror that's the point I was talking about. You are skipping to go for a child for your luxuries. You should earn them rather compromising on other things. If I say that I won't get a girlfriend because I don't want to pay for dates as I want to buy Battlefield1, that makes me a loser.
"You are skipping to go for a child for your luxuries."
Except there's nothing wrong about that since there's absolutely nothing good about having a child. I'd MUCH rather spend my money on those since I know I'll have a good time rather than spend time raising a child for absolutely no reason. Now there are many important things that I do prioritize over my enjoyment, but children is not even on the list since I'm never having them. And no I don't think it would make you a loser if you'd rather play video games than date (especially if she expects you to pay for all the dates)
lol sara413 and LadyTerror are doing a fantastic job of both twisting all your words and creating the illusion that you're off topic even though the take clearly mentions over and over again how having children is a financial nightmare, but before i say anything else i'll just write my opinion first xD
If it makes you feel any better, I am much more offended by the childless crowd who likens parenthood to taking care of a dog or a cat, comparing their animals to children.
I want to be child free but I'm afraid I will get envious of other people's cute babies and craving one too lol. When I'm 80 and wrinkly, I would love to spend some time with my grandchildren. .
Though they will probably be jellos of your retirement fund and lack of stress related illness. Besides for all we know you may be able to print a kid and have robots do all the hard work before 2078?
Well, I will have to sit down for a minute to think of how many grandmothers I know who are raising their grandchildren, because their adult children who had them aren't taking care of them... So you may very well be spending time with your grandchildren! (LOL I don't mean to sound mean, but it is happening out there!)
@ArrowheadSW the thought of being a 80 year old with no kids or grand kids seem kinda sad tbh. No one will come to visit me when I'm ill and on brink of death.
Well that is one of the arguments to have kids. And I have thought of that myself. For me, I think trying to improve my social life as I get older is a priority. Up till now I've been concentrating on career. Time to get a better social life in order. Hopefully when I get old I'll have friends around. LOL
@ArrowheadSW If I don't have kids I will probably take care of my nieces and nephews. I will just spoil them with gifts, hugs and kisses and get rid of them when they start throwing temper tantrums lol.
Some people do that and it is fine with them. Helping with the children of brothers and sisters. Face it, it is a lot less of a commitment and if you do it right you will be held in high regard by them.
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This may as well be written by me because I can relate and I agree to all of your points. I can't stand babies- human babies, but animals babies, I love love love.
Like almost any animal- cats, dogs, crocodiles, monkeys, lions, tigers etc.
But then again, I do love animals in general so...
Anyway, my goal is to have a successful career and a dog or a cat.
What could be better than that? :D
I completely agree with all of those! I really really don't want children... i don't even like being around them, for every 100 children there's maybe 1 that i find cute! Give me kittens or puppies any day! <3
Yup. I actually find a lot of kids just plain annoying...
I'm lucky my nieces and nephew are fucking awesome but even them I get tired of after a full day and am glad to head home to peace and quiet.
I will never understand how some people fail to understand the choice of not having children. I personally can't wait a whole bunch, but I absolutely understand how some people don't see the appeal of it. Although I do think some of the teenagers and young people who are absolutely against having children right now will change, since for some reason it's trendy to hate children right now.
That's like saying it's trendy to be lgbt these days...
No, it's just becoming a more acceptable thing to be open about. People who don't want kids have always existed, but they didn't really have much choice but to bend to social norms or risk being outcast. Same with gays.
@Sara413 No it actually is trendy to think babies are really ugly and horrible, you see it everywhere.
Ok... sure.
Still a lot "trendier" to swoon over babies...
@Sara413 Not in my opinion no.
I agree wholeheartedly. Kids are stressful and I cannot handle that stress. Yeah, I'm 16. I also don't want to adopt or do the deeds that grant children. I could not have said it better myself.
Stay beautiful,
-SJ
Exactly. I plan to be an EMT and that's enough stress for me.
I plan on either Particle physics or electrical engineering. Not super stressful, but even still.
If i could high five you, I would.
I don't want kids, don't need em' and they're not for everyone.
Don't agree with me? You don't have to. It's MY choice. Don't worry about what I'M doing with MY life. WORRY about YOU and what YOU are doing... cause I sure as helk ain't.
Yeah exactly it's so annoying when people say that, I NEVER Want kids not in a million years. Successful career, freedom, lots of money and doing whatever you want is way better and also because of some other reasons but yasss I agree with all your points!
You are not heartless for not wanting kids. If you won't enjoy being a parent, choosing to not have kids is the most caring thing you can do. It sounds like you do love your niece, so totally not heartless.
It's not at all hard to be child free for a long time. I think it catches up to you later... when you're 35, 40, 50... your friends and coworkers all have families, and you go home to your spouse and a dog?
Oh hell yes. That sounds wonderful. And don't forget a clean house. Because no kids.
Good thing a good chunk of my boyfriend and i's friends are also living the DINK life :)
Good points, personally I want kids but it's definitely none of my business to try and convince other people they want kids. It just seems like a bizarre thing to try and argue with people.
Well I like to present the viewpoint of, "How about we consider not having kids", because a lot of people grow up thinking that is just a natural progression in life. It is a lot more of a commitment timewise, moneywise, and everything-wise, than a lot of younger people think. Some people come to the conclusion to not have kids when they see friends getting married and having kids, and they see how 24/7 it is. So, if someone really thinks kids are for them after giving it some time and thinking it through, then fine.
@ArrowheadSW Yes, I agree. Nobody should have kids just because they can. I am working two jobs and my boyfriend is working overtime so that we can save enough money to afford to have a kid. We put most of our extra money towards paying off our condo, and once that's paid off our expenses are much less and I can quit one of my jobs so one of us is always here with the kid.
That is wonderful and insightful for you to plan like that!!! I am happy to know that there are folks out there who plan financially for this.
@ArrowheadSW You have to plan for it, it's not fair to your baby if you have a child and you can't afford all the associated expenses.
hhhahha i love babiess!!!
https://data.whicdn.com/images/41993181/large.jpg
I think babies are adorable. But I don't want any of my own. My niece is enough.
They are so cute and lovely! Why u dont want be a mom? Assh
They just don't fit in with the lifestyle I want. I plan to travel a lot. It's a great big world and I want to do that forever.
yesss my the biggest dream traveliing around the world but with my husband and babies in the future :)
My applaud to you, I am exactly the same. Likable and totally relatable myTake. Never want kids and am also planning on getting my tubes tied or something of the like.
You took the words right out of my mouth. I feel the same way
I'm 26 I don't wanna be a dad
I'm 99.9% sure
Even if it costs me my girlfriend Idc
I just don't see a phase in my life that I'd want kids.
Ditto!
No sense being with someone if your visions for your life don't align. Took me a while but I eventually found a partner who doesn't want kids and I'm grateful I never buckled under the pressure and stuck with a guy who thought he could change my mind.
Hold out for someone who wants the same things.
@Sara413 she's 21 so kids aren't on her radar right now
Sounds to me like they're not on her radar at all...
Like they weren't for me when I was 21. Or 30..
@Sara413 she wants to go to college and all that stuff first
Wait.. are you talking about your gf? I thought you were talking about the MyTake author. My bad!
I think it's something you should talk to her about tho if you guys are serious about each other. If she does want kids someday there is no point in wasting each other's time and getting yourselves more emotionally attached. It'll just hurt more when you inevitably break up.
@Sara413 I was talking about my girl friend yes lol I don't know if she wants them or not she wing outright say
Ohhhhh I see. But you've been straight up that you don't want them? Then that's all you can do!
@Sara413 Yep if it ends it ends if it works out it does
The "you won't know until you try" one, wowza. Terrible idea :o
I think it's awesome people decide they don't want kids and stick to it, ya know, why bring unwanted people in the world.
I don't think I want kids either. It costs too much time and money. People who say these things are just trying to convince themselves that kids are worth having.
If you think having a kid will cause you financial problems, you're a big failure in life.
If you down think kids are a massive drain on your finances, you're delusional...
@Sara413 huh? Wtf?
You said that if you think having kids will cause financial problems, you're a failure on life...
I'm saying if you don't realize kids are a massive drain on your finances, you're delusional.
@Sara413 ohh
Nah. If you don't have enough money to raise a child, it describes how serious and honest you were with your life. You spoiled it and hence, you're someone I'll call a broke! Failure.
I'd say that someone being wise enough to recognize that they are not able to provide financially for a kid and deciding not to is a smart and responsible person.
Not having a tonne of money doesn't make a person a failure. There are a lot of professions out there that are underpaid and that people choose for other reasons. Social workers, for example. Or perhaps they're already caring for or contributing financially to the care of an aging parent or sick relative. Or they're an artist who's work hasn't caught the right eyes.
Those people are making a responsible decision by not bringing a child into precarious financial circumstances and ought to be lauded for their decision.
@Sara413 such people are in minority. Exceptions are always there.
Ok?
I don't see why it's your place to judge anyone else's life decisions anyways. Live and let live. It's not that hard.
@Sara413 I'm allergic to average people. Be successful or gtfo. I'm not "judging" her decision. I was making a statement that one should earn that much amount of money at least. If THAT'S your excuse, then okay, I don't know who you are.
I'm sure all those people whose values include more than simply making as much money as possible will totes miss your friendship...
@Sara413 why are YOU judging me then? 😂
You don't need a kid. You ARE a kid 😂
And I won't ever want one
You should not have 😂
You really shouldn't either.
@Sara413 Are you her mom? Why so defensive? 😂
I'm not lol
Just sayin... your values aren't conducive to solid parenting.
@Sara413 How did you conclude that?
Clearly you sound pretty immature
@LadyTerror yeah! Talking about success is immature.
Except this has nothing to do with success. A person who doesn't would only need to make enough to support themselves. Aiming to make enough money to support kids even though you don't want any would be completely unnecessary.
Who doesn't want kids*
@LadyTerror It's pretty easy to earn enough money to run a family. Here in India (despite being the most povert country), people earn that much to feed their 3-7 kids!
Your country has 10 times more per capita income too.
If you are making an "excuse" that you "can't" earn that much, it really depicts how horrible your lifestyle is.
Now you're going off topic. It doesn't matter whether you can or can't because it's absolutely pointless in the first place. Majority of the people who don't want kids wouldn't be aiming for it.
And I'm not really sure what the prices are there, but it costs a lot to raise children here. The average cost for raising a child here till adulthood is approximately $245,340. That's enough for the average person to support themselves for at least five years.
@LadyTerror How am I off-topic? THAT'S exactly my point. You can't even earn that much? (as you said you're not aiming for it). The aim itself is pretty normal in the first place. It is not a strenuous task.
It is about half to one third here but you earn ten times more and Indians procreate more children than you plus, you have better facilities (health, electricity etc.) + most children start doing some kind of work there with studies, but here, parents pay till their children complete their education and get settled, they don't do any king of job along with studies.
So...
?
But why aim for that in the first place? Most of us already know what we want in life and anything more than that is just unnecessary. If that's how you define success, are you saying that an artist who's famous in his country is a big failure just because he's not globally famous (even if he doesn't want to be)?
And yes we might have better facilities but those actually cost a lot. The US has one of the most expensive healthcare systems in the world and even the gas prices are really expensive. 90% of kids here go to public high schools here which are free, but private colleges here cost $31,231 every year on average. That's more than half of what the average American makes.
@LadyTerror I'm not saying you have to earn money. Everybody has one's own definition of success. The point was, if you are saying that I don't want kids just BECAUSE I can't pay his/her expenses, THEN you're a failure. If you just don't want them because you're scared or just want to live that way, then it's okay.
I think the point of the take was that children are going to take up some of your finances along with the rest of the problems that already come with them. You could be using that money for something else instead.
@LadyTerror "1. What can be more beautiful than the sound of laughing children?
Silence and money."
I don't think you really don't know in what tone the OP made that point.
Using that money for something else? What exactly do you want? I mean, it could be an excuse for a person who was born in a poor family and is handicapped. But if you have food to eat, home to live and clothes to wear with a healthy body, you're just being materialistic.
Doesn't necessarily mean you're being materialistic. Yes even if you do have food and other necessary expenses, you could spend it for other stuff that's you don't need but can be useful. Or even stuff like like games and computer parts (that's what I would spend on). I mean, it's your money so you can do whatever you want with it.
@LadyTerror that's the point I was talking about. You are skipping to go for a child for your luxuries. You should earn them rather compromising on other things. If I say that I won't get a girlfriend because I don't want to pay for dates as I want to buy Battlefield1, that makes me a loser.
"You are skipping to go for a child for your luxuries."
Except there's nothing wrong about that since there's absolutely nothing good about having a child. I'd MUCH rather spend my money on those since I know I'll have a good time rather than spend time raising a child for absolutely no reason. Now there are many important things that I do prioritize over my enjoyment, but children is not even on the list since I'm never having them. And no I don't think it would make you a loser if you'd rather play video games than date (especially if she expects you to pay for all the dates)
@LadyTerror Well, it's all about personal opinions and preferences then :)
lol sara413 and LadyTerror are doing a fantastic job of both twisting all your words and creating the illusion that you're off topic even though the take clearly mentions over and over again how having children is a financial nightmare, but before i say anything else i'll just write my opinion first xD
@renogaza At least they tried :P the OP started posting negative posts too lol. Thank god they were removed.
Negative? I cuss a lot get used to it.
And those things don't work in front of me, get used to it 😂
don't tolerate it either 😏 make sense, be logical, speak the words of wisdom and you'd be taken more seriously!
If it makes you feel any better, I am much more offended by the childless crowd who likens parenthood to taking care of a dog or a cat, comparing their animals to children.
Would it offend you if I call my dog, my baby?
Absolutely, as would your Facebook photos of your meals and "My Child Has 4 Paws" bumper stickers.
daddyconfidential.com/.../bulldogs-in-stroller.jpg
^^^ literally my mom... She has three kids... But don't even get me started on it..
I want to be child free but I'm afraid I will get envious of other people's cute babies and craving one too lol. When I'm 80 and wrinkly, I would love to spend some time with my grandchildren. .
Though they will probably be jellos of your retirement fund and lack of stress related illness.
Besides for all we know you may be able to print a kid and have robots do all the hard work before 2078?
Well, I will have to sit down for a minute to think of how many grandmothers I know who are raising their grandchildren, because their adult children who had them aren't taking care of them... So you may very well be spending time with your grandchildren! (LOL I don't mean to sound mean, but it is happening out there!)
@ArrowheadSW the thought of being a 80 year old with no kids or grand kids seem kinda sad tbh. No one will come to visit me when I'm ill and on brink of death.
Well that is one of the arguments to have kids. And I have thought of that myself. For me, I think trying to improve my social life as I get older is a priority. Up till now I've been concentrating on career. Time to get a better social life in order. Hopefully when I get old I'll have friends around. LOL
@ArrowheadSW Yeah you might make some awesome friends in your retirement home.
Ouch! Ouch! LOL
Do you have any nieces or nephews?
Actually I do not! Some friends of mine have designated me an "honorary uncle" to their children though. LOL If that counts.
@ArrowheadSW If I don't have kids I will probably take care of my nieces and nephews. I will just spoil them with gifts, hugs and kisses and get rid of them when they start throwing temper tantrums lol.
Some people do that and it is fine with them. Helping with the children of brothers and sisters. Face it, it is a lot less of a commitment and if you do it right you will be held in high regard by them.
@ArrowheadSW Exactly. You don't have to be a parent to enjoy the company of children. Do you ever regret your decision, though?
Actually no, I have never regretted my decision up to now. If I am lonely when I am 70 I might? Like I say, I need to expand my social life. LOL
Great!! Why give a fuck what other people think about you? Just do whatever you want!!!
Kid free and that is the right way with me. Never cared for them and even more so now.