It is in most of our natures to want to help a friend or family member in need, and sometimes that need involves money. We've all been there. Maybe you were a little short this week on the car payment, or unexpected tragedy happened and they need a short loan, or they need financial help for their new business. So you're given or you give money to help someone out, but a bit of time passes and maybe they show no signs of ever paying you back, or they start avoiding you, or when you hit a bump in the road, that friend you once helped is no where to be found---this is where money can absolutely get in the way of a good friendship or hinder a relationship with a family member, but there are ways to avoid getting into that jam.
1. Think of yourself first
If you cannot afford to help someone else out because you've got upcoming bills yourself, your kid needs new school supplies, you just can't or don't want swing it, let family/friends know, you love them dearly, but you cannot afford to help them. Don't let them guilt you into forking over money because they may not be there when you in turn need that financial help. If they insist on laying it on thick, ask them if they had no money to lend, would they still lend money to you and risk say not being able to make a house payment or their kid not having lunch money.
2. Get it in writing
If you do specifically loan someone money, no matter how close the person is to you, put it in writing, and not just any writing, highly specific writing. Make it clear from day one, that this is a loan (write that out) and not a gift and then agree (and put it in writing) how and when you expect to be paid back, and even go so far as to have a witness present to you both signing this. This is not the time to be vague or deal in friendly handshakes. This is business!
You don't want to say, pay me back as soon as you're able, but rather, (name) agrees to pay me back in installments of $100 each month due by the last Friday of every month until March of 2018. If full payment is received prior to that date, the debt shall be marked as paid in full. If payment is not received by the last Friday of every month, x amount of interest will accrue to be paid in full by (name). This is one of the only ways you can protect yourself legally, especially if the loan is a big one, from someone saying oh, I thought it was a gift, or from them saying they don't owe you anything. If you are dealing in the 1,000's+ dollars, create a contract with an actual lawyer.
3. Understand who you are giving money to
If this is a person in your family who is known to not pay people back, or who takes forever to pay you back, if you intend to fork over your hard earned cash, don't then get upset when it's 3 years later and you've not seen a dime especially if you've not had them sign a written contract.That's like the guy getting mad when his girlfriend cheats, and yet he knew she cheated with him, on her previous relationship.
4. Do not become a well known bank
Why is it everyone seems to come for you when they have money troubles? Is is because you are always loaning people money here and there or are you really generous at how you allow people not to pay you back. Beware of becoming the known bank amongst your family and friends because people can and will abuse or take advantage of your kindness. You absolutely can say no, even if you've lent 10 other people money. You can start saying no, today, because you're still waiting to be paid back for your other loans.
5. Help in other ways
Someone says they need money, you don't have it or want to give it, then you may want to try offering help in a different way. Sit down with them and work through why they are in the position of need in the first place, or offer to go to the bank and speak with a financial planner. You may be helping them figure out the starting blocks to a better financial future.
6. Give them work, not free money
Rather than simply request that money be paid back to you that you lend, give your friend or family member a job that they can do for you, to earn the money you are lending them and pay them as such. Say, you need a babysitter for the next month, on every Saturday---every time they sit, you can pay them. Maybe you need your house cleaned, or your files organized, or your lawn cut---have the person work to earn the money and if they don't like it, they are welcome to ask someone else for a loan.
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Goodtake. If I thought I needed a contract i wouldn't lend. I already know who i can and can't lend to so a gentleman's agreement is enough. If a friend or family borrows from me and won't return or pay back then they are neither friend or family to me and I'm glad I found out who they really are.
Money. The root of all problems and conflicts (and evil).
It could solve almost every problem in the world but what it does in practice is creating almost every problem in the world.
Greedy, money hungry Gold diggers using sugar daddies and other low-self-esteem guys to sponsor for them.
And greedy corporations using money to shadily get their means, personally favorited employees and spending it on gold diggers.
!!! FUCK money!!!
I'm sorry. I'm getting bitter again for now.
Sadly, even if we remove money, it won't remove greed. Money just simplifies it in a quantifiable and universal way. So long as one person focuses on their wants, then it isn't likely greed will disappear any time soon.
@Nivinxus in that regard money is a currency. If it isn't the money then it would be something else taking it's place. Earlier it was gold and silver.
Don't show your wife your pay check.