1. The Killers of Dreams
Everything we want to do in life, starts out with a dream or a wish for our future. Sure wishing you can be a unicorn is rather unrealistic, but for most people those dreams involve things like going to school, or following their passion, wanting to move or travel more, or accomplishing some goal. Toxic people are not the same as those who are looking out for your best interests. It's important to note the distinction here and not get them confused. Those for your best interest may ask you about plans to afford such things for example, but their goals are not to squash out and destroy your visions entirely.
Toxic people will tell you right off the bat that you are stupid for wanting to follow your dreams. They will insult you and put you down. They are often stuck in their own lives, and take their being stuck out on you because you want to accomplish something they feel they can't or never will, or never had the chance to. At every turn, they take the opportunity to try and hold you back and keep you down. Do not let their poison seep into your veins, because it will only serve to turn you into a toxic person yourself.
2. The Disrespectors
These people are those who act like you have no say so in your own life. They consistently make it a habit of trying to exert their will over you. If you say you don't want to go somewhere, their answer is always, you will be coming or going somewhere. They are oppressive. Your no, does not mean no to them. Even when you call them out on this, they seem totally oblivious to the fact that they do this all the time to you.
These people will never respect you. They will never give you credit that you can do for yourself or be your own person without their "help and guidance." Even if you are a strong person, to them, they can't actually see that, and so continue to try and walk all over you. It is much better to spend the least amount of time with these people or avoid them, if you intend to live your own life. You do NOT need their permission to be who it is you already know you are or do what you already know you can do. If you must deal with these types, make it clear with your boundaries and follow through what you will and will not put up with. If you say no, that means no..not, s/he will cave in and just do what I say, because I said it. They have no rights to even think they can control your will like that. You're no puppet.
3. Time Suckers
Too many people make excuses for other people's consistent tardiness. "Oh that's just the way Dave is," or "I'm sure Robin had a lot to do this morning." Um, so do you. So does everyone. Sure, everyone is late every once in a while...traffic, kids, overslept, what have you, but toxic time suckers do this so often that it is almost seemingly a part of their personality.
Know that it is not your job to consistently wait for a friend or family member to show up or change around schedules just so they can maybe be on time. If they can't be on time, start without them or leave, and if they want to meet, they can call you and ask if you are willing to return. Your time is just as valuable as anyone elses and people who don't realize this and take advantage, need to grow up, set their phone alarms, and leave early like everyone else to be on time. These toxic time suckers have come to know that everyone will be waiting around for them; they use this to attention seek, and your anger about it, only feeds into their ego, that everyone had to wait on them again before the party could begin. Once you start moving on, and letting them know, if they don't show, we aren't calling/waiting, they'll either get a clue or they'll miss out because time waits for no one.
4. The Ingrates
Oh did you just spend all weekend helping your friend paint their entire house and they didn't even bother with a thank you or returning the favor for something so simple the next week? Yeah, your ears are probably burning just thinking of these types of people. We are more than willing to help out friends and family, and all we ask in return is respect in manners, or reciprocity, or just being appreciative for our acts of kindness.
When you consistently don't get even a basic thank you from someone all the time--know that they are most likely a toxic user. They have expectations rather than appreciation for that which you do for them. They will demand more and more from you, but never reciprocate. These people are incredibly toxic because they seem to suck all that makes you want to do good in this world, right out of you. They will always leave you bitter and feeling used because they don't seem to care about the basic tenants of human decency.
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