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Milestone Birthdays

Milestone Birthdays

I had a shitty childhood. It wasn't really anyone's fault, I went to Disney a lot and my parents loved me and I was a good looking kid. But I was always lonely.

Psychologists say that a kid has until the age of 4 to learn how to interact with other people and their state of emotional maturity at this point will foretell how fucked of a time you're gonna have interacting with other people.

By the time I was in the second grade, my daily routine was to go to school, be made fun of or get looked at weird every time I opened my mouth, wait for the buss while watching the other kids play, get dropped off at a stop with no one else and walk up a big hill by myself to an empty house where I was alone till my parents got home at around 7pm.

As much as I love people, I had no idea how to connect with them. So maybe that's why I never really got excited about my birthday. No matter who showed up or how hard I tried to make friends, I never felt like I meant anything to anyone.

I feel a bittersweet feeling on my birthday because I like thinking about how far I've come. Who I used to be and who I am today. But I also feel really lonely on my birthday. I'll get calls from family members I see on holidays and that's pretty much it.

Five hours and eleven minutes ago I turned 26, there have been a lot of people that have come in and out of my life. My life has had many ups and downs so far. I have a dream I'll never ever give up on because I promised myself when I was a kid I'd do it. I want to own a business, and I want to work with talented people I consider friends and have a family and make sure my kids end up happy without having to go through everything I did. I want to be old as fuck and with people who make me happy.

I have friends now. There's still a lot of things about people I don't really understand but I'm trying to be better every day.

This year has taught me that life will only get harder, and you need to constantly grow. Also, when you're lost and don't know who you are anymore, maybe start by going back to the last time things were going well for you. Try to remember how you looked at things and why you changed.

There's so much more I want to say but I'll just say that the first 5 hours of my birthday have been pretty good, I think the 8 year old version of me would be happy to see where I am now.

Happy Birthday to all my September 23rd guys, gals and whatever else. Wish me luck and for you I'll be doing the same!

Milestone Birthdays
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