I completely cut my dad off for the rest of my life. He probably has Aspergers but he never cared enough to even go talk to someone even when people tried to help him. He destroyed our family and still hasn't changed at all. He's in his sixties now and I still don't think he even understands the concept of being a parent or a husband. He can get validation much easier from random people or friends that's why he likes to spend money and time on them but with us he's stingy af we're annoying because we have higher expectations so we're not as easily satisfied.
My mom asked him once where are we on your list of priorities? And my dad didn't understand the question. Lately he's been trying to make up with me and his words sound convincing almost but his actions keep saying you're not important to me. If I plan to eet up with him he'll be doing somethig before and after with other people, he won't show up when we discussed and then he'll say oh I'm still here with them you can come over. Same with voice calls I call him and he's drinking tea and coffee with 5 people and says I'll call you back later.
He says things that make you feel like he's got your back but when you actually try to rely on him it always crumbles away. He makes it so complicated that it would be easier to just do it yourself or he complains about the cost when he promised to cover it. In the end I just always feel like I'm on my own when he's involved. He's incapable of even making decisions with others in mind. He just does what he wants to do and you just have to fit in somehow.
Being around somebody like that is just terrible for your mental health even without any conflict just the constant message of neglect and indifference through his actions it takes a toll on you. It took me a while to understand all of it. I felt so anxious and I didn't want to go visit him when I was in my early twenties after he already moved out. But I felt obligated somehow. But now I've understood it all and I might not see him again at all. Actually I feel a lot better when he's just not in my life at all and I don't think about him.
I'm just very grateful that my mom loved me so much and showed me the right way. Without her I'd be very damaged for sure. I am glad that I have people in my life who actually love me and show that and that I escaped the worst impact of his behavior.
I should tell some stories to illustrate his behavior more but this mytake is already long. I'l write another one with some details if there's any demand for it ^^
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You were correct to cut off that inattentive parent
Aww. I'm sorry, dude. 😥
Thank you :) But I think I'm fine. I'm writing a mytake now about how my life is great atm I just wanted to get these posted because in the past I sometimes wrote something but I thought I'd read it through again before posting but then I had something else I wanted to write and then I just deleted it and that's kind of a waste so now I'll try and post stuff when I've bohered to write it :)
Okay. Cool, man. :)
can you blame him? his syndrome interfered