She's probably and I know she is jealous of you! Get away from this loser and find yourself some good Friends. Friends do not put each other down lke that! She is using you to make herself feel better and if you stay you're allowing the abuse!
Either a very controlling friend or you're her friend and she's not yours, if you get what I mean.
2
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Asker
+1 y
I understand that but she's there for me in various ways, this only happens when we are around other people which is where the confusion comes. People notice it and believ she's insecure hence why she does it in a way to make me look bad and her look good
In that case, she probably believes that the only way to look good in front of others is to look better. It's not a bad thing to her, but might not understand what you think of it. In other words she might think it's not harmful to anyone.
She doesn't do it to everyone and she doesn't so it in front of everyone. She wouldn't do it in front of my finance. I'm the only mixed raced person she calls "half breed"
Ah, then it might be that she's a bit racist, but only feels comfortable with insulting/putting you down. So she sees you as a friend more than a person... this is a tough but to crack
Her children are half black/indian and she occasionally calls them half breeds too. She puts down white people in front of them also now her eldest daughter (10) has negative thoughts against white folks
Yeah, she's your friend, but a racist one. Not much you can do besides asking her politely to stop putting you down or just stop being friends. I hope the first one works because no one should be insulted on a regular basis, especially by someone who is supposed to be a friend
I know what you mean. I really do. Because I know how to be a good friend I also believe in giving people chances etc. I mean, she's there for me but I hardly need the same support she does.
First of all. thats not a friend but if u wanna stay friends with her, do it back to her and see how she likes it and if she says anything about it tell her thats what she has been doing to u.
2
7 Reply
Asker
+1 y
Thanks, she has so many problems, with her husband, she has three kids so she can't do much. I'm always travelling, I went away to work in an orphanage in Africa and she begun putting me down in front of people saying "oh that's the white in you, why the fuck would anyone do that shit" and another time I couldn't make it to her mothers birthday dinner and said I will send flowers as an apology and she responded "omg you're so fucking white, what is wrong with you" I'm half black/white by the way and she's black.. She just always does things like this.
I know, the reason I mentioned race is because she uses this to point out my faults. If I do something she doesn't approve of she says it's my "white side" so she used my race to point out my faults
Just cos she doesn't appove of something doesn't make it a fault. if she really is ur friend she should support u in everything u wanna do in life and talk u through problems u have and not bring things up to other people.
I agree with what you're saying, I know what a friend is that's why I'm a very good one. I just think that because she is tied down amongst other stuff she gets jealous and doesn't know how to deal with things.
Reguardless of being jealous she shouldn't point out faults of others. she should ask for help or deal with it. no need to bring friends down. you could talk to her about why she says the things she does and tell her how it makes u feel and that could make her see its not funny and that it upsets u
I'm sorry your friend is the way she is but you need to grow some backbone and find other friends to hang out with, Hun you can do more better than her...
It is clear, that you still want to be her friend, so you either have to talk about how she is making you feel or just deal with it. Unless you are willing to stop surrounding yourself by "friends" who make you unhappy, you only have two options.
1
0 Reply
Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
My friend also call me names in front of many people i talk to them and said that they shouldn't call me like that i was angry back then but they dont listen they still do it i also dont know what to do it was so upsetting that your own friend lets you down i just sometimes pretend not to hear anything
She doesn't treat you right! Tell her how you feel when she says those things. Just tell it. Is things continue like this, break your friendship with her. Afterall, one of the beautiful qualities of friendship is to understand and to be understood!
Have an open-hearted conversation with her, tell her that those things she says hurt you and explain why. If she's a true friend, she will listen and you can work it out together. If not... time to find new friends.
Um she doesn't sound like a "friend" then. Cut your loses and move on. If you want to keep her as an acquaintance than do so but make sure you stop hanging out with her as much.
She does this because she obviously isn't a true friend and don't hang around with people like that. Remove her from ur life and find better friends. You'll enjoy that more in the long run. Hope this helped.
I had a "friend" like that through primary and half of secondary school. The best thing I ever did was to drop her. I found a nicer group of people and they never put me down infront of others and I never felt insecure either.
One word, she is a bitch. I suggest you to cut it off with her, those kind of people are fucked up and won't stop. If you wanna continue with what you call "friendship" with her then go ahead.
She sounds like she is jealous of you. Why are you friends with her? You are a good person who is doing legitimate things with your life and she is a leech. Drop her.
It seems that your so called friend is unsecure in herself and for some reason jelous of you. But make no mistake this person is no friend. You shud either confront her in private and see what her problem with you really is or end the friendship
She is an insecure person who doesn't deserve someone like you. You are obviously a thoughtful, caring person who wants to do things that improve the world, not just benefit you. You can tell her that her comments are hurtful, that she needs to respect you, your interests, hobbies, etc... or she will no longer be welcome in your life. Regardless of your heritage, sexual orientation, beliefs, etc, a friend will support you, tell you when you messed up, but won't put you down.
She sounds like one of those black supremists. In all seriousness though you should make it clear to her that you're proud of your heritage and that being only partially negro doesn't put you below her.
That is NOT a true friend. She's insecure, and putting you down makes her feel better. If you're really trying to keep her in your life since you say she's been there for you too call her out on it when she's being rude. But honestly, I've had this experience and held on to the friendship, hoping it will work out but it always takes a turn for the worst. I understand you value her, but maybe you should start thinking of dropping her.
She's as toxic as her bodyweight in plutonium... she's a bigot too ( I HATE it when " society " & the lawmakers state that ONLY European people are racist... utter bullshit , there are bigots of every shade !! ) Get rid & cut her off !!
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She's probably and I know she is jealous of you! Get away from this loser and find yourself some good Friends. Friends do not put each other down lke that! She is using you to make herself feel better and if you stay you're allowing the abuse!
Either a very controlling friend or you're her friend and she's not yours, if you get what I mean.
I understand that but she's there for me in various ways, this only happens when we are around other people which is where the confusion comes. People notice it and believ she's insecure hence why she does it in a way to make me look bad and her look good
In that case, she probably believes that the only way to look good in front of others is to look better. It's not a bad thing to her, but might not understand what you think of it. In other words she might think it's not harmful to anyone.
Forgot to clarify on than 1st snetnce "better than whoever she's with at that moment"
She doesn't do it to everyone and she doesn't so it in front of everyone. She wouldn't do it in front of my finance. I'm the only mixed raced person she calls "half breed"
Ah, then it might be that she's a bit racist, but only feels comfortable with insulting/putting you down. So she sees you as a friend more than a person... this is a tough but to crack
Tough but* to crack
Nut* freaking auto correct
Her children are half black/indian and she occasionally calls them half breeds too. She puts down white people in front of them also now her eldest daughter (10) has negative thoughts against white folks
Yeah, she's your friend, but a racist one. Not much you can do besides asking her politely to stop putting you down or just stop being friends. I hope the first one works because no one should be insulted on a regular basis, especially by someone who is supposed to be a friend
I know what you mean. I really do. Because I know how to be a good friend I also believe in giving people chances etc. I mean, she's there for me but I hardly need the same support she does.
Well, give her as many chances as you can take, but don't hurt yourself. You matter more in this situation than she does.
I think I have given up already
Sorry to hear that, I hope you find a better friend than her, you deserve better.
Thanks
First of all. thats not a friend but if u wanna stay friends with her, do it back to her and see how she likes it and if she says anything about it tell her thats what she has been doing to u.
Thanks, she has so many problems, with her husband, she has three kids so she can't do much. I'm always travelling, I went away to work in an orphanage in Africa and she begun putting me down in front of people saying "oh that's the white in you, why the fuck would anyone do that shit" and another time I couldn't make it to her mothers birthday dinner and said I will send flowers as an apology and she responded "omg you're so fucking white, what is wrong with you" I'm half black/white by the way and she's black.. She just always does things like this.
Thats just stupid. in my oppinion i wouldn't be friends with her. it doesn't matter what colour u are or anything. just come be my friend instead :)
I know, the reason I mentioned race is because she uses this to point out my faults. If I do something she doesn't approve of she says it's my "white side" so she used my race to point out my faults
Just cos she doesn't appove of something doesn't make it a fault. if she really is ur friend she should support u in everything u wanna do in life and talk u through problems u have and not bring things up to other people.
I agree with what you're saying, I know what a friend is that's why I'm a very good one. I just think that because she is tied down amongst other stuff she gets jealous and doesn't know how to deal with things.
Reguardless of being jealous she shouldn't point out faults of others. she should ask for help or deal with it. no need to bring friends down. you could talk to her about why she says the things she does and tell her how it makes u feel and that could make her see its not funny and that it upsets u
Thanks
Couple of things that seem obvious. She's kinda an asshole. Friends support you, they don't put you down.
Anyone that respects you as friend wouldn't say these things to you. She sounds toxic.
I'm sorry your friend is the way she is but you need to grow some
backbone and find other friends to hang out with, Hun you can do
more better than her...
It is clear, that you still want to be her friend, so you either have to talk about how she is making you feel or just deal with it. Unless you are willing to stop surrounding yourself by "friends" who make you unhappy, you only have two options.
My friend also call me names in front of many people i talk to them and said that they shouldn't call me like that i was angry back then but they dont listen they still do it i also dont know what to do it was so upsetting that your own friend lets you down i just sometimes pretend not to hear anything
That's horrible. I'm sorry to hear that babe x
She doesn't treat you right! Tell her how you feel when she says those things. Just tell it. Is things continue like this, break your friendship with her. Afterall, one of the beautiful qualities of friendship is to understand and to be understood!
Have an open-hearted conversation with her, tell her that those things she says hurt you and explain why. If she's a true friend, she will listen and you can work it out together. If not... time to find new friends.
Um she doesn't sound like a "friend" then. Cut your loses and move on. If you want to keep her as an acquaintance than do so but make sure you stop hanging out with her as much.
Why do you want negative people in your life?
She does this because she obviously isn't a true friend and don't hang around with people like that. Remove her from ur life and find better friends. You'll enjoy that more in the long run. Hope this helped.
I had a "friend" like that through primary and half of secondary school. The best thing I ever did was to drop her. I found a nicer group of people and they never put me down infront of others and I never felt insecure either.
She does these things because she is a prick. Stop being her friend!
One word, she is a bitch. I suggest you to cut it off with her, those kind of people are fucked up and won't stop. If you wanna continue with what you call "friendship" with her then go ahead.
She sounds like she is jealous of you. Why are you friends with her? You are a good person who is doing legitimate things with your life and she is a leech. Drop her.
It seems that your so called friend is unsecure in herself and for some reason jelous of you. But make no mistake this person is no friend. You shud either confront her in private and see what her problem with you really is or end the friendship
She is an insecure person who doesn't deserve someone like you. You are obviously a thoughtful, caring person who wants to do things that improve the world, not just benefit you.
You can tell her that her comments are hurtful, that she needs to respect you, your interests, hobbies, etc... or she will no longer be welcome in your life.
Regardless of your heritage, sexual orientation, beliefs, etc, a friend will support you, tell you when you messed up, but won't put you down.
She sounds like one of those black supremists. In all seriousness though you should make it clear to her that you're proud of your heritage and that being only partially negro doesn't put you below her.
That is NOT a true friend. She's insecure, and putting you down makes her feel better. If you're really trying to keep her in your life since you say she's been there for you too call her out on it when she's being rude. But honestly, I've had this experience and held on to the friendship, hoping it will work out but it always takes a turn for the worst. I understand you value her, but maybe you should start thinking of dropping her.
She's as toxic as her bodyweight in plutonium... she's a bigot too ( I HATE it when " society " & the lawmakers state that ONLY European people are racist... utter bullshit , there are bigots of every shade !! ) Get rid & cut her off !!