I'm a complete loner at college & feel like I don't fit in... Is it normal to not have made any friends? I feel pathetic :( ?

[Anonymous]

This is my 3rd year at a private college. I've always been a solitary person. In high school I didn't make a real friend until my senior year, and to this day we are the best of friends. College has been the exact same. I haven't made any friends. Everyday I am alone 24/7. I have a dorm room to myself; I eat by myself; I walk to and from classes by myself; I wander around and listen to music and go to town by myself; etc. The thing is.. I never had a problem with it. I enjoy being by myself so much and having one great friend outside of school, with some other semi good friends from home and amazing parents, I never felt the need for more friends.. A boyfriend would be nice though

The first 2 years I had bad depression.. And now it's more in control and im just melancholic about life at times, mixed with a type of unsettledness about the madness of this world and life (none of it makes sense; what's our purpose?) I think deeply about life & I find it hard to relate to a lot of my peers who are so into gossiping and dating, what's the latest trend, getting drunk, having sex, and popping some pills just to be cool and have the "college experience;" the clubs and activities at our school don't interest me and I find them elementary-like. Like, I feel like an adult surrounded by younger children.

The only thing I have going for me is guys tend to take a liking to my appearance. But then I feel like they think I'm boring because I enjoy drinking wine and reading by myself on a Friday night, and talking about & doing things that don't pertain to our immediate gratification.

I met this guy who I thought was a loner like me.. Only to find he too had a group of friends. He asked me who my group of friends were here.. And well, I'm a one man show.. I felt pathetic or boring or both.

Is this normal? What should I do?

[Other_Tommy_Wiseau]

if it's bothering you, you can do the following:
-be friends with your roommate- they are instant friends and they're most likely making friends... i had 5 fucking roommates. we'd have 15+ people in a room at a time easily
-with that said, if you make 1 friend, they have friends and have they introduce you to their friends.
-join a club or 2... or 5. there has to be some clubs you're into. i did about 6
-probably not so much after fr yet, but make friend with people in your dorm. my freshman dorm was really close, but my so-sr dorm was too... at least 60% of my friends were from there
-talk to people in class and shit. i'm fairly sure you had class with a few people more than once. hard to believe you never noticed anyone who you've previously shared at least 2 with.

i'm not social, but i had loads of friends from classes, roommates, clubs, sports, dorms, activities, just seeing people and just being a decent conversation starter. it's not that hard, but takes a little bit of effort.

[coolbreeze]

I think you are going to have to branch out and get out of your comfort zone. I do think it's good that guys notice and pay attention to you. I think you just have to find a guy that can accept you for who you are and not judge you by things you do. Im surprised you haven't made any friends from your classes.

[coolbreeze]

Thank you very much for the upvote.

[dakraziest]

Yeah it's normal, I have been a tight group person myself and all my life I have only like four or five people around me though what helped me survived was the fact that I can easily start a conversation with anyone anywhere so whenever I felt bored or lonely I used to go out and just start talking to the first person I can find
Doubting yourself is the worst thing ever, u are an amazing person so what if you like to do things a bit differently and if people don't understand u they don't deserve u.
Finding new friends is easy just show up at random events that yr college organises and ull soon have a rooster full of people who are willing and Awesome to be good friends with you and then you can pick out the best for yourself from them

[Anonymous]

i totally get what u r goin through cos im surprisingly similar. I find it hard to make friends especially in college. It seems like everybody is doin their own thing and nobody else matters. I think its great that u have some friends and i wouldn't be too worried about the boyfriend issue. Im sure u'll find someone who will see how special u r and who u can connect with. and i wouldn't be worried if he has friends of his own. This gives u a chance to make some new friends and branch out your social network. i also would say to get out of your comfort zone. Try to reach out more and u'll get more people noticing u.

[Anonymous]

First of all, I'm a senior at a private university in the west coast and have had a very hard time fitting in. I only have about 4 other friends and they all go to different schools than I do. I typically do everything autonomously as well, eating, walking to class, etc.. I have also outgrown the childish scene of indulgence.

You are not alone in feeling the way that you feel. If you are a wanderer at heart and more grown up than all the people around you, more power to you. Stay positive and I am sure that you will not only meet good people eventually, but perhaps even someone you love.

As for the guy who had a team of friends as long as you like each other it will work out somehow in the end. Just show him how original and different you are compared to other people.

Last but not least, if you are really as keen to the eyes as you suggest, please make sure the guys you date like you for who you are because there are a lot of scummy people out there.

[Jared____]

💁🏻 maybe you just got a bad draw of a community